THE     MODERN     DRAMA    SERIES 
EDITED    BY   EDWIN   BJORKMAN 


THE     RED    LIGHT     OF     MARS 
GEORGE     BRONSON-HOWARD 


THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS 

OR 

A  DAY  IN  THE  LIFE   OF  THE   DEVIL 

A  PHILOSOPHICAL  COMEDY  BY 

GEORGE    BRONSON-HOWARD 


NEW  YORK 

MITCHELL  KENNERLEY 
MCMXIII 


COPYRIGHT   1913  THE    JOHN   W.    RUMSEY    CO. 
COPYRIGHT   1913  MITCHELL    KENNERLEY 


THE-PLIMPTON-PRKSS 
NORWOOD- MASS-  U-S-A 


CONTENTS 

PAGE 

INTRODUCTION  vii 

LIST  OF  PLAYS  BY  GEORGE  BRONSON-HOWARD  x 

THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  1 


INTRODUCTION 

THERE  is  to  me  something  typically  American 
about  the  life-story  leading  up  to  the  play  con 
tained  in  this  volume  —  a  story  in  which  the  creation 
and  publication  of  that  play  will  undoubtedly  represent 
only  a  temporary  climax.  I  want  to  tell  it,  not  only  as 
a  curiosity,  but  as  something  that  has  genuine  signifi 
cance  to  the  world  of  letters.  The  meaning  of  this 
story,  read  in  conjunction  with  the  work  that  has 
grown  out  of  it,  is  that  the  time  when  books  were 
bred  by  books  only  is  about  gone  now.  The  new 
literature  will  come  straight  out  of  life,  apparently, 
and  will  in  consequence  have  made  a  decided  gain,  even 
though  it  may  have  lost  something  else.  As  it  springs 
forth,  full-blooded  and  ready-tongued,  we  shall  un 
doubtedly  hear  melancholy  voices  proclaim  the  vulgari 
zation  of  poetry.  But  if,  on  hearing  such  protests 
rising  from  some  anaemic  scholar's  cloistered  cell,  we 
look  back  through  the  ages  and  fix  our  gaze  not  only 
on  the  little  followers  but  on  the  great  leaders  —  on 
the  Dantes  and  Shakespeares  and  Cervanteses  and 
Molieres  —  then  we  shall  find  that  almost  always  the 
term  of  opprobrium  quoted  above  has  implied  a  vitali- 
zatlon  of  the  supposedly  menaced  art  form. 

The  author  of  "  The  Red  Light  of  Mars  "  is  now 
in  his  thirtieth  year,  having  been  born  on  January  7, 
1884,  in  Howard  County,  Maryland.  His  father  was 
a  Baltimore  merchant  and  insurance  broker,  who,  in 
his  turn,  had  a  Confederate  blockade  runner  for  father 
and  an  officer  in  the  English  army  for  grandfather. 


viii  INTRODUCTION 

His  mother  sprang  from  an  old  French  middle- class 
family,  which  had  to  emigrate  from  Dijon  after  the 
Edict  of  Nantes. 

George  Bronson-Howard  studied  in  a  private  school 
in  London,  in  the  public  schools  of  Baltimore,  and  in 
the  City  College  of  the  same  place.  At  fourteen  he 
lost  both  parents,  just  as  he  was  about  to  enter  Johns 
Hopkins  University,  his  age  having  been  carefully  con 
cealed  in  order  that  the  examinations  might  be  open 
to  him.  Instead  he  became  a  messenger  in  the  Weather 
Bureau  at  Baltimore.  While  thus  employed,  he  sub 
mitted  successfully  to  the  first  of  a  series  of  civil  service 
examinations,  each  one  of  which  required  some  skilful 
disingenuousness  lest  the  applicant's  age  prove  an  in 
superable  obstacle.  During  the  next  seven  years,  Mr. 
Bronson-Howard  busied  himself  successively  as  follows : 

Reporter  on  the  Baltimore  American;  clerk  in  the 
office  of  the  Secretary  of  the  Navy;  stenographer  at 
the  Brooklyn  Navy  Yard;  reporter  on  the  Brooklyn 
Citizen;  press  representative  for  one  of  the  Frohman 
theatres  and  for  one  of  George  W.  Lederer's  produc 
tions;  reporter  on  the  New  York  Herald;  clerk  in 
the  Bureau  of  Navigation  at  Washington ;  clerk  in  the 
office  of  the  Collector  of  Customs  at  Manila,  Philippine 
Islands;  assistant  to  the  Collector  of  Customs  at  Iloilo, 
on  the  island  of  Panay;  newspaper  correspondent  at 
Manila ;  member  of  the  Philippine  Constabulary ;  con 
tributor  of  fiction  stories  to  various  newspapers  and 
magazines ;  employe  of  the  Imperial  Chinese  Customs 
Service  at  Canton ;  agent  of  the  Imperial  Chinese  Gov 
ernment  in  Shantung  Province ;  war  correspondent  for 
the  London  Chronicle  with  the  Russian  army  in  Man 
churia;  magazine  and  newspaper  writer  at  San 
Francisco. 


INTRODUCTION  ix 

He  was  twenty-one  when  he  came  East  and  began  to 
produce  a  series  of  clever,  quick-moving  stories,  desig 
nated  by  himself  "  as  melodramatic  magazine  yarns." 
The  type  of  hero  around  which  they  were  built  was 
wholly  new:  a  secret  agent  of  the  State  Department. 
Appearing  in  book  form  under  the  title  of  "  Norroy, 
Diplomatic  Agent,"  those  stories. met  with  such  suc 
cess  that  their  author  found  himself  relieved  for  a 
long  time  from  all  necessity  of  "  pot-boiling." 

Since  then  he  has  written  more  stories,  three  ro 
mances  —  one  of  which  so  far  has  only  been  published 
in  Germany  —  essays,  plays,  criticism,  musical  revues, 
etc.  He  has  acted  as  play  reader  for  the  late  Henry  B. 
Harris,  as  dramatic  editor  on  Smith's  Magazine,  as 
dramatic  critic  on  the  New  York  Morning  Telegraph, 
as  vaudeville  impresario  at  Paris,  and  as  librettist  for 
the  Winter  Garden  at  New  York.  He  has  dramatized 
a  novel  and  novelized  a  play.  He  has  lived  at  London, 
Baltimore,  New  York,  Paris,  and  Nice  —  to  settle  down 
at  last  in  a  house  of  his  own  at  Belleterre,  Port  Jef 
ferson,  Long  Island. 

So  far  Mr.  Bronson-Howard  has  a  dozen  plays  of 
every  conceivable  type  to  his  credit,  some  of  them  being 
wholly  his  own  and  some  being  written  in  collaboration 
with  others.  Most  of  these  works  have  already  been 
produced,  some  with  marked  success,  and  others  are 
scheduled  for  performance  in  the  immediate  future. 
Thus,  for  instance,  "  The  Red  Light  of  Mars  "  will  be 
staged  by  H.  H.  Frazee  during  the  season  of  1913-14. 

There  are  two  qualities  that  seem  to  characterize  all 
of  Mr.  Bronson-Howard's  dramatic  productions:  a 
keen  perception  of  the  demands  and  possibilities  of 
the  stage,  and  a  shrewdly  humorous  grasp  of  human 
nature.  His  command  of  stagecraft  is  so  facile  that 


INTRODUCTION 


at  times  it  strikes  the  critic  as  a  danger  to  his  art. 
And  it  has  the  faults  as  well  as  the  merits  generally 
accompanying  such  facility.  He  would  probably  be 
much  surprised  if  he  heard  himself  referred  to  as  a 
"psychologist"  —  and  yet  that  is  just  what  he  is,  in 
his  own  practical,  intuitive,  American  way.  With  these 
two  qualities,  which  provide  for  the  framework  of  his 
art,  goes,  as  its  informing  and  directing  spirit,  a  strong 
inclination  to  "  side  with  the  under  dog." 

EDWIN  BJORKMAN. 


LIST    OF    PLAYS    BY    GEORGE 
BRONSON-HOWARD 

THE  ONLY  LAW  (with  Wilson  Mizner),  1909; 
SPRING  TIME  (with  Booth  Tarkington  and  Harry  Leon 

(Wilson),   1910; 
SNOBS,  1911; 

AN  ENEMY  TO  SOCIETY  (with  Wilson  Mizner),  1911; 
RHETT  MARYL,  1912; 
THE  REEF  (with  David  Belasco),  1912; 
THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS,  1913. 


THE    RED    LIGHT    OF    MARS 

OR 

A    DAY    IN    THE    LIFE    OF    THE    DEVIL 
A  PHILOSOPHICAL  COMEDY 


PERSONS 

(in  order  of  appearance) 

THOMAS  VANILLITY,  B.  Sc.,  LL.D.,  M.A.  (Oxori) 
The  Hon.  HIPPOLYTE  CRITTY,  Judge  of  Special  Sessions 
JOHN  MAGNUS       .     .     .     Of  Magnus  #  Co.,  Bankers 
WILLIAM  TROMPER     .     Manager  Magnus  Steel  Works 
MRS.  HORACE  HENRY  FELIX 

FANNY  FELIX Her  daughter 

A  VALET 

H.  ADDINGTON  AGNUS,  M.D.,  Ph.D.,  D.Sc. 

NOEL  ON  FRO  Y,  R.A.  .    .   •  Chevalier  Legion  d'honneur 

THE  LIGHT 

TOPLISS       A  servant 

DOLL  BLONDIN       A  show-girl 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL      An  anarchist 

ST.  ELMO  PEATTIE Sheriff 

A  DETECTIVE  LIEUTENANT 
Two  DETECTIVES 
A  CHAUFFEUR 


THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS 


THE    FIRST    ACT 

The  study  and  laboratory  of  Doctor  Addington 
Agnus,  Rothlyn,  Long  Island. 

Entrances:  Folding-doors  to  laboratory;  door  to 
garden;  spiral  stairway;  door  to  hallway. 

A  long,  low  white  room:  white- panelled,  white 
book-shelves,  furniture,  etc.;  upholstered  in  light  yel 
low  and  light  blue  chintz. 

Garden  seen  through  two  windows  on  either  side  of 
upper  door.  Folding-doors  to  laboratory  closed. 

A  sunny  day  in  early  winter:  late  morning.  The  sun 
is  almost  blinding  on  the  white  room  and  the  highly 
polished  brasses. 

A  bright  wood-fire  burns. 

As  the  curtain  rises:  a  knocking  on  the  garden  door, 
which  continues.  The  knob  rattles.  The  door  gives 
way,  almost  precipitating  Thomas  Vanillity  on  his  face. 

Vanillity  is  a  college  professor,  lean,  spare,  ascetic- 
looking;  wears  a  dark  gray  English  walking  suit;  tailed 
coat;  derby  hat.  Has  typical  sad  Englishman's  mous 
tache,  a  "  drooper  ";  closely  shaven  lantern  jaws.  Car 
ries  neatly  folded  umbrella. 

VANILLITY  (evidently  astounded  at  unlocked  door) 
Well:  upon  my  word  —  upon  my  word!    (Picks  up 
hat,  umbrella,  etc.,  which  have  fallen,  and  straightens 
himself)     I  wonder  if  he's  in?     (A  slight  explosion 


4  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

from  laboratory;  he    drops    articles    again)     Yes, 
he  's  in !  (Picks  up  articles  a  second  time;  straightens 
tie,  etc.,  in  glass;  twirls  moustache;  then  goes  to  fire; 
stretches  out  hands)     A-a-ah! 
[A  second  knocking  on  garden  door. 

VANILLITY  (going  to  folding-doors  and  calling  into  labo 
ratory)  Oh,  Addington,  Addington,  my  boy!  (A 
second  explosion  from  laboratory.  Vanillity  goes  to 
door,  admitting  Judge  Hippolyte  Critty:  grossly 
but  respectably  fat,  with  an  unctuous  smile  and  a 
walrus-tusk  moustache) 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (smiling  genially) 

Ah !  Professor !  Professor !  Come  to  claim  all  the 
credit  of  your  pupil's  great  discovery  ?  (  Waves  hand 
toward  laboratory) 

VANILLITY  (with  painful  humility) 

I  did  nothing,  Judge,  nothing.  A  man  like  Dr.  Agnus 
would  succeed  without  my  teaching  or  anyone's. 
(Shows  by  his  attitude  some  servility  to  the  Judge) 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (warming  hands  at  fire) 

Well,  he  thinks  you  're  responsible.  "  If  it  was  n't 
for  Professor  Vanillity,"  he  keeps  saying  — 

VANILLITY 

I  never  knew  so  painfully  modest  a  boy  — 
JUDGE  CRITTY  ( they  are  both  at  fire) 

Boy  —  you  've  hit  it  —  boy !  The  great  scientist 
(bows  to  laboratory  doors)  retains  all  his  boyish 
shyness  and  lack  of  confidence.  He  even  (preening 
himself)  gives  me  credit  for  part  of  his  success.  Be 
cause  once  I  said  the  time  was  coming  when  science 
would  keep  us  alive  forever.  He  says  that  put  him  on 
the  track. 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  5 

VANILLITY  (with  melancholy  satisfaction,  looking  toward 

laboratory)     Immortality!     No  more    building    up 

just  for  Time  to  tear  down! 
JUDGE  CRITTY  (in  a  smoking-room  manner,  ribald) 

And  making  us  independent  of  women! 
VANILLITY  (shocked) 

My  dear  Judge ! 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

Of  good  women,  I  mean.  They  are  the  only  danger 
ous  kind.  We  learned  how  to  handle  the  bad  ones  a 
few  thousand  years  ago ! 

VANILLITY 

My  dear  Judge ! 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (going  back  to  the  days  of  boyish  confi 
dences)  Tommy :  it 's  my  profession  to  be  a  hypocrite. 
That 's  why  I  enjoy  talking  to  you.  Being  absolutely 
dependent  on  me,  you  can't  give  me  away.  (Laughs 
foxily)  If  I  did  n't  have  you,  I  'd  become  a  Catho 
lic.  I  simply  can't  keep  all  my  cleverness  to  myself. 
That's  why  most  people  enjoy  confession.  And  so 
I  say  again :  the  good  women  are  the  only  dangerous 
kind!  (Goes  to  cellar ette)  Have  a  drink!  There! 
(Pours) 

VANILLITY 

My  dear  Lytey  — 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

Nonsense,  down  with  it !    I  need  you  today,  and  when 

you  're  dead  sober,  you  've  got  a  conscience.    (Drwk- 

vng  with  him)     Have  a  cigar!     Take  it!     (Lights 

cigars  for  Vanillity  and  himself) 

[Vanillity's  face  brightens  as  drink  and  cigar  affect 

him. 


6  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

Yes,  sir !  The  only  dangerous  kind !  That 's  why  I  'm 
sorry  for  that  poor  fellow!  (Nods  toward  labo 
ratory) 

VANILLITY 

Ssh!    Ssh! 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

Pooh !  He  does  n't  know  anybody  's  on  earth  when 
he  's  working  —  poor  devil ! 

VANILLITY 

Poor  devil?  Poor  fellow?  Who  just  won  the  Nobel 
prize  —  the  most  discussed  scientist  in  the  world? 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

And  a  year  from  now  forgotten! 

VANILLITY 

Absurd !    (See'mg  the  Judge's  solemn  look)    Why? 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

In  love ! 

VANILLITY 

With  a  very  sweet  girl  —  a  very  ambitious  girl ! 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

Ambitious  for  herself  —  yes. 

VANILLITY 

But  — 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (looks  at  watch) 

She  '11  be  here  any  minute  now :  was  to  meet  me  here 
quarter  to.  I  came  before  time  to  find  you;  knew 
you  'd  be  the  first  to  congratulate  him !  Another 
drink  ? 

VANILLITY 

My  dear  Ly  tey  — 

[Judge  Critty  forces  it  on  him;  VanilUty's  smile  be 
comes  a  beam. 


ACT  i]       THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  7 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

She  's  bringing  John  Magnus  and  William  Tromper 
with  her. 

VANILLITY  (dazed) 
John  Magnus ! 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

And  William  Tromper ! 
VANILLITY  (dazed) 
John  Magnus ! ! 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

And  William  Tromper  's  the  general  manager  of  the 
Magnus  Steel  Works  !  He's  going  to  offer  our  friend 
(waving  toward  laboratory)  one  hundred  thousand 
dollars  a  year  !  Chief  chemist  of  the  works ! 

VANILLITY 

One  hundred  thousand  dollars  a  year?  My  God ! !  (A 
silence;  changed  tone;  nods  toward  laboratory)  But 
he  won't  take  it! 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

He  will  take  it.    That 's  your  j  ob ! 
VANILLITY  (starts) 
Mine  ? 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

And  mine.    To  persuade  him ! 
VANILLITY  (dazed) 
Fanny  wants  him  to? 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

Yes !    And  so  do  you. 

VANILLITY 

I?    Never!    (Springs  to  his  feet) 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

Have  another  drink! 


8  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

VANILLITY 

My  dear  Lytey  — 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

Take  it !  (Having  poured  it,  he  forces  it  on  V anil- 
lit  y  again)  And  so  do  you !  (  With  emphasis) 

VANILLITY 

It 's  wicked !    It 's  sinful ! 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

Have  — 

VANILLITY 

No;  I  won't  have  another  drink!  I  know  you  can 
smother  every  good  feeling  in  me  with  a  little 
liquor  — 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

Believe  me:  not  a  little! 

VANILLITY 

But  this  I  won't  do;  I  will  not;  I  won't!  To  stop 
a  man  on  the  trail  of  immortality?  No !  No  !  No ! 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

I  said  good  women  were  the  only  dangerous  kind, 
did  n't  I? 

VANILLITY 

She  wants  it?    Why? 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

For  the  reason  that  nine  hundred  and  ninety-nine 
Americans  do  anything  "  to  be  as  good  as  any 
body."  One  hundred  thousand  dollars  a  year  is  the 
income  on  two  million.  It  will  enable  her  to  gratify 
every  social  ambition.  She  's  ambitious :  for  herself 
—  I  said  that,  too. 

[Vanillity  -falls  into  a  stupefied  rage;  his  hand  sneaks 
toward  decanter;  a  horn  is  heard  off  stage. 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  9 

JUDGE    CRITTY    (at    window) 

Here  they  are!  (Swiftly)  Now,  mind!  (Fiercely) 
D' you  understand? 

VANILLITY 

I  will  not ! 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

You  will!    And  I  '11  tell  you  why.     Magnus  put  me 
where  I  am,  and  he  '11  put  me  on  the  Supreme  Bench 
the  first  vacancy.     Then  I  '11  put  you  into  the  first 
College  Presidency!     Now,  d' you  understand? 
[A  knock  at  the  door. 

VANILLITY 

Man,  it 's  awful.     It 's  sacrilege. 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

It's  life.     Unfortunately.     But  life  just  the  same. 
We  did  n't  make  life.    But  we  have  to  live  it.    Here ! 
Have  another  drink.     (Pours  it) 
[A  second  knock  is  heard;    Vanillity  hesitates  over 
the  drink. 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (impatiently  whispering) 
Come  on  —  come  on ! 

[Vanillity  gulps  it  and  sits  disconsolate.  Judge 
Critty  opens  the  door  for  Fanny  Felix,  her  mother, 
Mrs.  Felix,  John  Magnus,  and  William  T romper. 
Fanny  is,  par  excellence,  the  well-bred,  cold,  detached, 
sure-of-herself  American  girl  of  the  upper  class, 
very  lace-y  and  lingerie-y.  Mrs.  Felix  looks  almost 
as  juvenile;  she  has  less  dignity;  her  coat-collar 
and  tie  might  be  a  man9s;  her  smart  hat  is  feminine 
enough,  and  so  are  her  small,  high-heeled  shoes.  John 
Magnus  has  an  air  and  an  eyeglass;  wears  a  morn 
ing  coat,  vest,  and  trousers  of  light  gray,  and  a  gray 


10  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

top-hat  to  match;  needs  only  a  pair  of  binoculars 
slung  over  his  shoulder  to  be  attired  for  the  races. 
William  Tromper  is  the  vulgar,  pig-headed,  igno 
rant,  self-made  American  busmess  man.  His  small 
pig-like  eyes  show  sullen  hatred,  an  animal's  cunning, 
and  a  savage's  determination.  He  is  continually 
ready  to  assert  authority  over  supposed  inferiors 
and  equality  with  superiors:  the  breed  that  has  made 
America  infamous.  He  is  dressed  in  that  stiff  sup 
posed-to-be-correct  fashion  that  marks  such  people: 
a  suit  of  expensive  but  ugly,  hard-faced  cloth,  pressed 
into  knife-like  creases  about  the  lapels  and  trousers; 
a  shming  white  waistcoat,  starched  and  creased;  a 
hard-boiled  shirt;  a  mathematically  perfect  rhom 
boid  of  a  sausage-like  necktie;  shining,  creaky  laced 
shoes  of  patent  leather,  etc.  When  the  party  enters, 
and  during  the  first  few  words  of  the  following  con 
versation,  Magnus's  valet  takes  their  heavy  motoring 
coats. 
MAGNUS 

Here  before  us,  Judge?     (Shakes  hands) 

MRS.  FELIX  (to  Vanillity,  shaking  hands) 
The  chauffeur  let  me  drive !    Glorious ! 

FANNY  (ditto) 

Yes,  your  hands  won't  be  fit  to  be  seen  for  a  week. 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (speaking  over  his  shoulder  while  shak 
ing  hands  with  the  women)  I  don't  think  Professor 
Vanillity  ever  had  the  pleasure  of  meeting  you,  Mr. 
Magnus. 

MAGNUS  (reprovingly) 

I  have  not  had  that  honor.    (Shakes  hands)    Profes 
sor  —  Mr.  Tromper  — 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  11 

TROMPER  (in  his  best  middle-class  behavior) 

Pleased  to  meet  you,  Professor.  Pleased  to  see  you 
again,  Judge. 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (urbanely) 

Just  had  a  little  talk  with  my  old  friend  here;  he 
shares  our  opinion,  Mr.  Magnus. 

MAGNUS 

I  do  not  know  that  I  hold  any  opinion  on  the  sub 
ject,  Judge  Critty.  I  came  along  simply  to  please 
the  young  lady. 

VANILLITY  (with  a  ray  of  hope  and  in  a  tone  slightly 
thickened  by  drink)  Then,  Mr.  Magnus  —  you 
don't  wholly  believe  in  the  sacrifice  of  a  career  for 
money?  (Magnus  frowns  and  looks  crushingly  at 
Judge  Critty) 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

The  Professor  is  inquiring  as  to  your  views,  Mr. 
Magnus.  (Looking  hard  at  Vanillity)  His  own 
are  fixed  — 

TROMPER 

Sacrifice,  did  I  hear  you  say,  Professor?  A  young 
fellow  gets  an  offer  of  a  fortune  a  year  and  you  talk 
about  sacrifice.  He  has  n't  had  any  career  yet. 

VANILLITY  (with  spirit) 
The  Nobel  prize. 

TROMPER  (sneers) 

Forty  thousand  dollars  for  —  how  many  years'  study 

and  work  — 
FANNY 

Dr.  Agnus  is  thirty-two  — 


12  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

TROMPER 

Say  twenty-five  years'  schooling  and  work  to  make 
forty  thousand  dollars  —  that  ain't  much  of  a  ca 
reer?    I  made  that  much  long  before  his  age. 
MAGNUS 

The  case  is  different  here.  Yours  can  be  no  criterion. 
You  married  probably  on  less  than  Dr.  Agnus's 
schoolboy  allowance- — 

TROMPER 

Grew  up  together,  we  did.  She  worked  and  I  worked. 
To  a  man  that  wants  comforts,  it 's  cheaper,  marry 
ing. 

MAGNUS  (smiling) 

Showing  just  how  far  apart  the  cases  are.  The 
young  lady  here  (nods  toward  Fanny)  does  not  make 
marriage  cheaper. 

FANNY  (correctly) 

Really,  Mr.  Magnus  — 

MAGNUS 

I  withdraw,  with  apologies. 

FANNY 

But  don't  you  want  Addington  to  do  this? 

MAGNUS 

I  have  n't  been  conscious  of  wanting  anything  these 
many  years,  Fanny. 
MRS.  FELIX  (smiling) 

You  don't  need  to  be,  John.  You  lift  your  eyebrows 
and  people  hustle.  You  get  what  you  want  before 
you  're  conscious  of  wanting  it.  But  you  do  want  Dr. 
Agnus  to  take  his  offer  (points  to  Tromper),  don't 
you? 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  13 

MAGNUS 

Do  I,  Tromper? 

TROMPER 

Well,  sir  — 

MRS.   FELIX 

He  means,  shall  he  tell  the  truth? 

MAGNUS 

The  lady  wishes  you  to  tell  the  truth,  Tromper. 

TROMPER 

Well,  sir  — 

MRS.   FELIX 

Take  your  time.     A  business  man  can't  speak  the 
truth  so  quickly.     That  takes  practice. 

TROMPER  (to  Magnus) 

Well,  sir,  if  what  you  said  about  the  young  doctor  is 

true  — 
FANNY  (triumphantly) 

And  it  is  true.    I  told  him,  myself. 
TROMPER 

That  one  chemical  discovery  of  his  alone  will  save 

the  mills  —  I  would  n't  undertake  to  say  how  much 

—  that  is,  if  he  can  do  it ! 

FANNY 

He  can! 

MAGNUS 

Well? 

FANNY 

Well?     (Her  eyes  turn  toward  the  laboratory) 
MAGNUS 

He  is  in  apparently.     (To  the  others)     We  are  all 
agreed  upon  the  matter? 


14  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i" 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (hastily) 

I  can  answer  for  Professor  Vanillity  and  myself. 

FANNY 

And  I  for  mother ! 

MRS.   FELIX 

I  think  it  is  a  shame,  Fanny. 
MAGNUS 

Apparently  Tromper  answers  for  me. 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

I  think  we  can  convince  the  young  man  where  his 
duty  lies  — 
MRS.  FELIX 

I  wish  I  could  convince  the  lot  of  you  where  your 
duty  lies!  Can't  you  see  that  all  this  comes  from 
not  giving  women  the  vote  long  ago  ? 

FANNY 

Mother,  dear !  —  exercise   your  monomania  at  any 
other  time  than  this  ! 
MAGNTTS  (to  Mrs.  Felix,  amused) 
Really? 

MRS.   FELIX 

Really!  When  a  woman  is  allowed  to  figure  out  her 
duty  to  the  nation,  she  '11  want  her  husband  to  give 
it  his  best,  instead  of  giving  his  best  to  her. 

FANNY 

What  nonsense,  mother!     A  man's  first  duty  is  to 

his  home  — 
MRS.  FELIX 

Give  them  the  vote,  and  they  '11  sacrifice  the  home  to 

make  the  nation. 
MAGNUS  (seated,  crossing  legs) 

Ladies,  proceed !    This  is  strangely  interesting  to  me. 


ACT  i]       THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  15 

MRS.  FELIX 

It  will  be  more  than  interesting  to  you  when  we  win, 
John  Magnus.  Why  do  you  control  the  money- 
market  of  America?  Because  women,  having  no  in 
terest  in  business,  urge  their  men  to  make  as  much 
money  as  they  can.  They  can  do  this  only  by  taking 
advantage  of  other  people's  weakness;  not  realiz 
ing  that,  if  they  do  this  to  weaker  people,  stronger 
men  will  do  it  to  them.  And  so  it 's  dog  eat  dog, 
and  as  you  're  the  biggest  one  in  the  kennel  you  eat 
them  all  — 

FANNY 

Mother!    Are  you  losing  all  your  manners? 
MAGNUS 

Thanks  for  making  me  a  big  dog  anyhow,  Loo  — 
But  how  would  women  voting  change  all  this? 

FANNY 

Oh,  mother !  —  please ! 

MRS.  FELIX 

Why,  as  soon  as  women  realize  that  modern  laws  of 
business,  applied  to  the  home,  would  make  every 
man  a  thief  and  every  woman  a  prostitute,  they  '11 
stop  urging  their  husbands  to  make  more  than  the 
next  man  — 

MAGNUS 

Loo!  I  hereby  subscribe  any  reasonable  sum  you 
say  to  the  cause  of  suff rage  —  thereby  planning  my 
own  downfall !  — 

MRS.  FELIX 

Or  showing  your  contempt !  —  Well !  you  're  amus 
ing  anyhow,  John  Magnus.  If  somebody  could 
make  you  take  things  seriously,  you  'd  be  as  great 
a  man  as  your  subsidized  newspapers  say  you  are  — 


16  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

Really,  my  dear  Mrs.  Felix ;  —  even  the  hysterical 
newspapers  admit  Mr.  Magnus  is  a  great  man ! 
MAGNUS 

My  dear  press-agent  —  we  are  in  the  presence  of 
my  friends,  not  of  the  public.  You  may  consider 
yourself  off  duty. 

MRS.  FELIX 

No  man  can  be  selfish  and  great.     Mr.  Magnus  only 

amuses  himself  by  playing  a  game  with  the  public. 

But  how  he  can  be  amused  by  winning  games  from 

his  inferiors,  I  don't  know.     That  's  the  kink  in  his 

greatness. 
MAGNUS 

I  have  just  begun  to  realize  their  inferiority,  Loo. 

That's  why  the  game  begins  to  bore  me  — 
MRS.  FELIX 

Start  teaching  them  instead  of  beating  them,  then. 
MAGNUS 

Anything  to  get  back  my  interest  in  life !    How  shall 

I  begin? 

MRS.  FELIX 

By  endowing  that  brilliant  boy  in  there  to  carry  on 
his  search  for  immortality  —  give  him  some  of  your 
useless  millions. 

FANNY 

Mother !  He  is  n't  a  beggar.  He  can  give  himself 
and  me  everything  we  need  by  work. 

MRS.  FELIX 

Yes,  but  can  he  give  the  world  everything  — 

TROMPER 

He  can  give  the  world  more  iron  rails  for  railroads ; 
more  armor-plate  for  battleships  — 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  17 

MRS.   FELIX 

More  money  for  Magnus,  you  mean.  Railroads  and 
battleships  never  made  anybody  wiser  or  happier  — 

VANILLITY 

Oh,  really,  Mrs.  Felix  —  travel  — 

MRS.  FELIX 

Whisking  past  interesting  places  at  a  mile  a  minute 
is  n't  travelling.  That 's  moving  pictures  for  the 
rich.  (To  Magnus)  John,  with  your  money  trans 
lated  into  real  power  —  not  petty  authority  — 
you  '11  go  down  to  history  as  big  a  man  as  the  boy 
in  there  —  your  name  linked  with  his  — 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

Pardon  me,  Mrs.  Felix ;  his  name  linked  with  Mr. 
Magnus. 

MRS.   FELIX 

No.    The  boy  is  a  fool  at  everything  except  his  work. 
But  his  wisdom  in  that  is  greater  than  all  of  yours, 
John  Magnus. 
[Judge  Critty  lifts  his  hands,  about  to  protest. 

MAGNUS 

If  he  can  make  men  immortal,  certainly  — 
[Judge  Critty  subsides. 

MRS.   FELIX 

Well,  at  twenty-nine  he  's  made  animals'  hearts  and 
lungs  immortal.     In  fifty  years,  endowed  with  mil 
lions  — 
[Magnus  nods. 

MRS.    FELIX 

You  do  see,  don't  you?  Now,  will  you  bury  that 
talent  in  a  vulgar  manufactory  — 


18  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

TROMPER  (offended) 

Vulgar !  Why,  some  of  our  men  come  to  work  in 
their  own  automobiles. 

MRS.  FELIX 

Prosaic  manufactory,  then.  (  To  Magnus)  Remem 
ber,  when  you  bury  him,  you  bury  your  own  chance 
to  be  a  great  man !  Whoever  heard  of  a  mere  money 
maker  in  history  unless  as  the  patron  of  artists, 
writers,  or  scientists? 

MAGNUS 

Loo,  I  've  a  good  mind  to  make  you  marry  me !  I 
believe  you  'd  make  life  interesting  again  — 

MRS.  FELIX 

You  'd  have  to  change  a  good  many  of  your  ways 
before  you  can  do  that.  I  admire  your  brains,  but 
what's  the  sense  of  having  them  when  they  are  n't 
put  to  any  good  use?  Will  you  endow  the  boy? 
(Nods  toward  laboratory) 

MAGNUS 
Yes. 

MRS.   FELIX 

A  few  more  answers  like  that,  and  I  '11  say  "  yes  " 
to  you. 

MAGNUS 

I  '11  endow  him  —  to  please  you.  But  I  demand  in 
terest  on  my  investment.  I  '11  build  the  finest  work 
shop  a  scientist  ever  had:  give  him  ten,  twenty,  a 
hundred  assistants ;  the  most  renowned  scientists  in 
the  world,  no  matter  what  they  cost.  —  He  can 
spend  any  amount  on  whatever  he  needs  in  his  work. 
But  I  '11  have  no  young  society-man  business  — 
[Fanny  starts  and  her  expression  grows  sullen. 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  19 

MAGNUS 

He  '11  stay  here,  on  Long  Island.  And  he  '11  spend 
no  more  on  himself  than  he  needs  to  live  decently. 
If  I  sacrifice  millions,  he  must  sacrifice  something  — 

FANNY 

What  do  you  mean  by  living  decently.  (Biting  her 
lips)  The  way  you  live? 

MAGNUS 

No,  that 's  living  extravagantly.     (Smiling) 

FANNY 

Mother,  Mr.  Magnus  has  just  been  joking  at  your 
expense. 

MRS.    FELIX 

I  see  no  joke. 

FANNY 

Addington  was  giving  up  his  work  for  my  sake  — 

our  home's  sake.     Mr.  Magnus  has  n't  changed  that 

any. 
MRS.  FELIX 

Addington  has  only  a  few  thousand  a  year  income. 

Handicapped  that  way,  he  might  never  fully  succeed 

in  his  work.     Mr.  Magnus  makes  it  impossible  for 

him  to  fail. 
FANNY 

And  meanwhile   live  in  this   poky   seacoast  village; 

ten  miles   from   a   railroad;   not   half  a  dozen  nice 

families  near  us  — 
MAGNUS 

A  motor  will  get  you  to  New  York  after  dinner,  in 

time  for  the  theatre,  the  opera,  or  a  dance  — 
MRS.  FELIX 

Of  course,  you  'd  keep  a  small  flat  in  New  York. 


20  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

MAGNUS 

Oh,    anything    reasonable  —  say,    fifteen    thousand 
a  year  for  personal  expenses  — 
FANNY  (aghast) 

Fifteen  thousand!  (Reproachfully  to  Mrs.  Felix) 
You  see  now,  mother! 

MRS.    FELIX 

See  what? 

FANNY  (exasperated) 

Why,  my  gowns,  my  little  expenses  come  to  twenty- 
five  hundred,  and  I  don't  have  half  enough  —  not 
a  quarter  enough.  I  won't  —  I  '11  live  in  the  right 
places  and  know  the  right  people  and  do  the  right 
things  —  or  I  won't  marry  — 

MRS.  FELIX 

Silly  places  —  ignorant  people  —  selfish  things  — 

FANNY 

Mr.  Magnus,  it  was  n't  very  nice  of  you ! 
MAGNUS  (to  Mrs.  Felix) 

People  would  much  rather  do  what  they  like  than 

what  we  like  — 
MRS.  FELIX 

They  must  be  taught  to  like  what 's  best  for  the 

world.      Fanny  —  do   you   mean   you  '11   deliberately 

spoil  Addington's  career?    Refuse  this  great  chance? 
TROMPER 

Business   is   business,   Mrs.   Felix.      Your   daughter 

would  make  a  good  business  woman. 
MRS.  FELIX  (to  Fanny) 

I  hope  that  last  remark  shows  you  how  petty  your 

conduct  is. 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  21 

FANNY 

Live  on  Long  Island  out  of  the   season?     Have  a 
poky  flat  in  town  and  one  servant?     Never  entertain? 
Never  meet  worth-while  people?     Be  out  of  it  alto 
gether?     I  'm  better  off  unmarried ! 
MRS.  FELIX  (alarmed) 
Don't  say  that! 

VANILLITY 

You  have  the  man  you  love,  Miss  Felix. 

FANNY 

If  the  man  I  love  does  n't  love  me  well  enough  to 
make  some  sacrifices  for  my  sake  — 

VANILLITY 

But  the  same  applies  to  you  — 

FANNY 

Women  sacrifice  enough  when  they  surrender  their 
liberty  —  when  they  take  on  the  duties  of  mar 
riage  — 

MRS.   FELIX 

But  you  said  you  did  n't  intend  to  have  more  than 

one  child,  anyhow  — 
FANNY  (shocked) 

Mother ! 
MRS.  FELIX  (to  Tromper) 

Will  you  pardon  us  just  a  moment,  Mr.  Tromper? 

(Shows  him  into  the  hallway  and  closes  the  door) 

You  others  don't  matter,  knowing  us  as  well  as  you 

do.     Now,  Fanny,  what  do  you  mean? 

FANNY 

The  duties  of  a  wife  — 

MRS.    FELIX 

Don't  hide  behind  phrases. 


22  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

FANNY 

If  you  don't  know,  mother,  it's  too  late  for  you  to 
learn. 
MRS.  FELIX 

Well,  I  '11  tell  you  what  my  duties  as  a  wife  were : 
spending  more  than  my  husband  could  get  decently ; 
making  him  overwork  to  pay  my  extravagances; 
keeping  him  until  four  in  the  morning  at  silly  affairs, 
knowing  he  must  work  while  I  slept  it  off;  flirting 
with  every  idle  attractive  man  I  met,  letting  him 
think  I  was  a  fragile  flower  plucked  by  a  hand  of  a 
savage  who  could  not  appreciate  my  fairy  fragrance ! 
Those  —  and  neglecting  my  one  child  until  she  grew 
up  to  be  an  encyclopaedia  of  all  a  woman  should  not 
be  —  those  were  my  wifely  duties ! 

FANNY 

Mother!    You  are  shocking  everybody! 

MAGNUS 

Not  me,  Loo ! 

MRS.    FELIX 

If  I  had  brought  you  up  properly  instead  of  leav 
ing  you  to  snobbish  servants  and  fashionable  incu 
bators,  you  might  be  some  man's  blessing  instead  of 
curse!     Plain  words,  Fanny!     May  they  start  you 
thinking  and  keep  you  from  ruining  the  mind  and 
killing  the  body  of  some  good  man  like  your  father, 
who  died  a  bankrupt,  and  —  though  our  fashionable 
physician   friends   made   it   look   otherwise  —  a   sui 
cide  !    (To  the  others)  —  All  of  you  knew  this ? 
MAGNUS 
Yes  — 
\Vamllity  bows  his  head. 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  23 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (clearing  his  throat) 

Why  — 
FANNY  (tears  in  her  voice) 

Mother,  you  are  brutal !    Brutal !    Brutal ! 
MRS.  FELIX 

No.     You  are  going  to  be. 

FANNY 

I  believe  you  hate  me. 

MRS.    FELIX 

I  hate  myself  when  I  see  what  I  was  yesterday  in  you 
today.  I  hate  myself  for  letting  that  yesterday 
live  in  you  instead  of  killing  it  when  you  were  a  child. 
I  only  saw  myself  as  I  was  just  before  your  father 
decided  to  finish  things.  Knowing  he  would  lose 
me  anyhow,  he  told  me  how  fatal  his  love  for  me 
had  been.  "  A  beautiful  poisonous  orchid,"  he  called 
me  —  (breaks  down)  Fanny,  Fanny,  Fanny ! 

FANNY  (coldly) 

Mother,  don't  make  a  scene! 

MRS.  FELIX  (drying  her  eyes) 
Useless  —  useless  — 

MAGNUS  (rising) 

It  was  all  my  fault.  I  should  never  have  made  the 
offer  — 

MRS.  FELIX 

It  was  the  first  real  thing  you  ever  did. 

MAGNUS 

I  mean  the  first  offer  —  the  selfish  one  —  the  bury 
ing  one  — 
MRS.  FELIX 
Cancel  it ! 

MAGNUS 

It  is  cancelled ! 


24  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

FANNY  (almost  murderously) 

Mother,  when  we  get  home,  I  will  pack  and  go  to 
Aunt  Clara's.  In  the  future  please  don't  concern 
yourself  about  me  any  more  than  about  any  other 
young  woman  of  your  acquaintance.  —  Shall  we  go  ? 

MRS.   FELIX 

But  the  boy  in  there  — 

FANNY 

No  need  to  disturb  him.  He  is  busy,  and  no  doubt 
happy  —  I  will  break  the  bad  news  in  a  letter. 

MRS.  FELIX 

You  break  the  engagement? 

FANNY 

Oh,  no,   indeed !     He  '11  soon  find  some  other  steel 

manufacturer  or  somebody  of  the  sort  to  offer  him 

just  as  much. 
MAGNUS  (quieting  Mrs.  Felix's  -frantic  interrogation) 

I  see  —  the  bad  news  is  breaking  my  word? 

[Fanny  nods. 
MAGNUS 

You  told  him,  and  he  accepted? 

FANNY 

I  talked  to  him  for  an  hour  over  the  telephone  this 
morning  — 

MRS.  FELIX 

He  accepted  —  so  easily  — 

FANNY 

Easily !  —  I  told  him  he  must  either  accept  or  lose 
me  —  and  rang  off.     Two  minutes  later  he  was  fran 
tically  accepting  — 
MAGNUS 

You  should  have  told  us  that  and  saved  argument. 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  25 

FANNY 

I  wanted  you  —  all  of  you  —  to  make  argument  — 
good  argument  —  so  that  he  would  see  it  was   for 
the  best  and  not  sulk  and  grieve  afterwards.     (An 
grily)     Mother  promised  she  would  not  interfere. 
MRS.  FELIX 

It  was-thinking  of  poor  Harry  did  it. 

FANNY 

Please    do    not    refer    to    father    again  —  now    that 

you  've  shattered  all  my  ideals  about  him  — 
MRS.  FELIX 

Ideals  !     Fanny,  Fanny ! 
MAGNUS  (to  Mrs.  Felix) 

If  the  boy  accepted  so  readily,  I  think  perhaps,  Loo, 

it  would  be  an  injustice  to  cancel  that  first  offer  — 
FANNY  (earnestly) 

Mr.  Magnus  —  please  —  don't  — 
MAGNUS 

I  suppose  Tromper  —  my  good  faithful  beef-eating 

Tromper  —  will  spread  the  report  that  I  'm  losing 

my  mind  if  I  do  — 
MRS.  FELIX 

Great  men  should  n't  care,  John.     The  mob  always 

think  greatness  is  madness. 
FANNY  (impatiently) 

Mother  — 

MRS.  FELIX 

I  only  wish  there  was  some  one  to  save  the  poor  boy 
from  you,  Fanny  —  I  do,  indeed  ! 
[A  ring  is  heard  at  the  door  and  Vanillity  goes  to 
open  it.  Noel  Onfroy  enters.  He  has  pointed  beard, 
twirling  moustache,  pointed  hands,  hair  cut  en 
brosse;  wears  black  velvet  jacket,  rich  red  tie,  riding- 


26  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

trousers  with  white  Bedford  cords,  black  patent- 
leather  boots;  bare-headed;  he  is  smoking  a  pipe. 

MAGNUS 

I  intended  running  in  on  you  in  a  moment,  my  boy  — 

ONFROY  (nodding  to  all) 

Where  is  the  Chub?  (Nods  toward  laboratory) 
Elixir-of-lifing?  (With  real  pleasure)  How  are 
you,  Charlotte  Corday?  (Shakes  Mrs.  Felix's 
hand)  Where  do  you  buy  those  pink  cheeks?  I 
could  n't  paint  better  ones  myself. 

MRS.  FELIX 

These  are  n't  painted  —  they  're  anger. 

ONFROY 

With  Clarissa  Henbane,  as  usual? 

FANNY 

Please  don't  take  liberties,  Mr.  Onfroy. 

ONFROY 

When  I  take  liberties  with  you,  Lydia  Languish,  I 
condescend.  (Pointedly  turning  his  back)  Anger? 

MAGNUS  (chuckling) 

And  women  love  him  for  it ;  they  love  him,  the  cox 
comb  !  They  used  to  pay  him  five  thousand  dollars, 
less  for  their  portraits  than  for  the  slangings  he 
gave  them  —  ( this  while  Mrs.  Felix  explains  to  On 
froy  m  undertone) 

FANNY  (pale  with  rage) 

Mr.    Magnus,    please    don't    include    me    in    your 
generalities  —  I  am  not  like  other  girls  — 
[Mrs.  Felix  finishes  explaining. 

ONFROY  (turning) 

That  one  remark  proves  you  are,  dear  Lady  Disdain. 
It  is  one  of  the  ninety-and-nine  banalities  that  make 
up  what  the  average  young  woman  calls  her  opin- 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  27 

ions.     Another  is  the  following  remark  addressed  to 
men  who  are  sane  about  women :    "  Ah,  wait  until 
you  meet  the  right  one !  " 
MAGNUS  (still  chuckling) 

They  love  it  —  love  it !  Fanny  pretends  not  to ;  but 
that 's  because  she  knows  he  's  married  and  she  can't 
get  him.  If  the  boy  in  there  treated  you  as  this  cox 
comb  does  my  daughter,  you  would  n't  mind  living 
on  nothing  a  year  in  the  Sahara  Desert. 

FANNY 

Mr.  Magnus  — 

MAGNUS 

Oh,  I  know  —  Olive  was  all  you  are,  Fanny,  and 
more.  Then  along  comes  the  coxcomb.  In  three 
weeks  she  's  telling  me  he  says  he  can't  afford  to 
marry  her  —  and  won't  I  please  settle  a  dowry  on 
them  so  that  he  can  give  up  portrait  painting  where 
all  the  women  are  wild  about  him  —  marry  her  — 
and  settle  down  to  art  for  art's  sake. 

ONFROY 

I'll  say  this  for  you,  Ivan  the  Terrible:  you  were 
game;  took  your  medicine  standing  up;  came 
across  with  the  dowry  like  a  little  man,  thereby 
earning  the  thanks  of  every  true  lover  of  art.  No 
more  pot-boilers,  no  more  portraits,  no  more  dem- 
nition  fool  chromos  for  the  demnition  fool  public ! 
You  've  got  yourself  into  history,  Kubla  Khan.  You 
will  live  as  my  patron. 

MAGNUS 

The  way  we  poor  financiers  are  patronized !  It 's 
the  second  time  I  've  been  told  that  this  morning  — 

ONFROY  (to  Mrs.  Felix) 

You  've  been  praising  me,  Joan  of  Arc? 


28  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

MRS.    FELIX 

The  thought  of  you  has  n't  crossed  my  mind  in 
weeks,  Sir  Egotist. 

ONFBOY 

Oh,  the  Chub?  (Glancing  at  laboratory)  Right, 
too!  (To  Magnus)  Endow  him,  Governor.  The 
other  thing  is  damnable  —  downright  damnable.  I  '11 
say  this  —  and  me  saying  it  means  a  lot  —  I  'm  no 
body  compared  to  him.  (Hastily)  Not  personally ! 
I  should  have  said :  "  Art 's  nothing  to  his  sort  of 
science  "  (To  Fanny)  One  little  bit  of  pink  and 
white  prettiness  stopping  the  greatest  thing  science 
ever  tackled ! 

FANNY  (goes  to  the  Judge,  stopping  her  ears  while 
Onfroy  talks;  then  tearfully)  Judge  Critty,  you  're 
the  only  one  with  the  least  chivalry.  Why  should 
I  be  abused  so?  Because  I  want  my  husband  to  have 
some  pleasure  in  life?  Instead  of  frowsing  in  smelly 
chemicals  all  day  —  risking  his  life  — 

VANILLITY 

Oh,  no,  my  dear  Miss  Felix!  Oh,  no!  (Eagerly) 
No  risk !  —  Not  the  slightest !  It 's  as  peaceful,  as 
harmless  as  —  as  — 

[A  succession  of  sharp  reports  like  pistol-shots  ring 
out.  The  folding-doors  are  thrown  back  and  H.  Ad- 
dington  Agnus  stumbles  in  backward  and  sits  down, 
staring  blankly,  seeing  nothing.  Smoke  arises  from 
the  laboratory.  As  it  clears  away,  Agnus  rushes  back 
again,  examines  something  through  a  microscope. 
FANNY  (sharply) 

Addington,  stop  making  yourself  ridiculous.  (She 
goes  into  the  laboratory  and  shakes  him) 


ACT  i]       THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  29 

AGNUS  (comes  to,  as  one  who  has  been  in  a  trance) 
My  own — my  darling!     (Embraces  her) 

FANNY  (wriggling) 

Addington !  There  are  peo — (muffled  by  kiss)  — 
pie  here,  I  tell  you — (Releases  herself) 

AGNUS  (not  seeing  anyone  else,  abstractedly) 

Just  had  a  most  successful  discovery  —  chemical  — 
out  of  my  line,  rather  —  but — (Seizes  and  kisses 
her  again) 

FANNY 

Addington !    Don't  you  see  there  are  visitors  ? 

[Agnus  turns  and  almost  collapses;    then  he  turns 

away  from  the  rest  again. 
FANNY  (taking  hold  of  him) 

Mr.  Magnus  — 
AGNUS 

Oh,  Lord! 
FANNY  (pulls  him  out,  protesting) 

Mr.   Magnus  —  and  — 
ONFROY 

Hello,  Chub!     How's  the  Chub?     Celebrated  Chub, 

eh? 

[Agnus  has,  in  his  embarrassment,  been  going  from 

one  to  another,  shaking  hands. 

Your  success  warms  me  like 

old  wine,  my  boy. 

My   dear   pupil;   I   have   an 


JUDGE    CRITTY 


VANILLITY 


MAGNUS 


MRS.    FELIX 


(almost    MJ        ,     «r*T'   V"y 

\      ,,        excuse  for  having  lived. 

01 /-mi I  /  TS1  —  ^3 


simulta- 


,   v    The     heartiest     congratula- 
neously) 

tions. 

Addington  —  you  're  a  great 


man. 


30  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  i 

[Now  that  he  is  nearer,  one  perceives  that  Agnus  is 
a  youthful,  enthusiastic,  absent-minded  genius,  with 
a  strong  face  save  for  his  unsophisticated  juvenile 
glance.  This  is  now  hidden,  for  he  wears  heavy  tor 
toise-shell  spectacles;  also  white  trousers  and  tunic, 
heavily  braided  at  collar  and  sle'eves  and  along  trou 
sers  legs  —  an  old  army  uniform  in  fact,  with  insig 
nia  stripped  off,  though  the  buttoned  shoulder-straps 
remain. 

MAGNUS 

May  I  re-admit  Mr.  Tromper,  Loo?     (He  opens  the 

hallway  door)     Tromper ! 

[Tromper  enters  just  as  Agnus  has  shaken  the  last 

hand. 

FANNY  (hastening  over) 

Addington  —  the  man  who  made  the  offer  —  Mr. 
Tromper  — 

TROMPER 

Pleasedtermeetcher  — 

[Agnus  shakes  hands  with  Tromper,  muttering  and 

looking  puzzled. 
FANNY 

You  know,  on  the  telephone  this  morning  — 

AGNUS  (turning  away:    utterly  forgetting  Tromper) 
Fanny,  you  didn't  mean  that,  did  you?     Of  course 
you   did  n't  —  I   know   you   did  n't !      Why  —  after 
me  winning  the  prize  — 

TROMPER  (walking  around  and  facing  him  again) 
That 's  why  we  make  the  offer,  Doctor  — 

FANNY  (dangerously) 

You  're  going  back  on  your  word,  Addington? 


ACT  i]       THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  31 

AGNUS  (turning  his  back,  forgetting  Tromper  again) 
Fanny,  I  forgot  all  about  it.     I  began  experiment 
ing  and  — 

FANNY 

Forgot  your  word  of  honor  —  for  smelly  chemi 
cals  — 

AGNUS 
Fanny ! 

TROMPER  (again,  to  the  amusement  of  the  others,  walk 
ing  around  to  face  him)  We  would  n't  take  up  all 
your  time,  you  know,  doctor.  —  After  hours  you 
could  go  on  with  your  work  — 

ONFROY 

Correspondence-course    immortality  —  a    few    hours 
every   night  will   open   every   door   for  you  —  even 
immortality  — 
MRS.  FELIX 

Don't  accept,  Addington  — 

ONFROY 

By  no  means,  Chub  —  Never! 
JUDGE  CRITTY  (clearing  throat) 

You  have  said  you  valued  my  opinion,  my  dear  lad: 
you  have  called  me  a  second  father  — 

ONFROY 

And  Little  Red  Riding  Hood  called  the  wolf  grand 
mother,  too.     (To  Agnus)     Decline  it! 
FANNY 

Good  day  to  you,  Addington !  (She  is  at  the 
garden  door;  Agnus  rushes  over  to  her;  she 
throws  off  his  hand)  You  've  broken  your  word. 
Good-bye ! 


32  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

AGNUS 

Good-bye? 

[The  rest  remam  -farther  down  the  stage,  watching 

the  couple  with  curiosity. 

FANNY 

I  '11  send  your  ring  and  your  letters  — 
[The  following  colloquy  is  held  in  half -whispers  to 
give  impression  that  tlie  others  do  not  hear  it. 
AGNUS 

But,  Fanny  — 

FANNY 

I  told  you,  this  was  your  chance.     I  can't  wait  to 

marry  until  I  'm  gray. 
AGNUS  (excitedly) 

But  you  love  me? 

[Fanny  shrugs  her  shoulders. 
AGNUS  (wudly) 

You  're  tired  of  me? 

FANNY 

No,  of  waiting. 
AGNUS  (seizing  her  wrists) 

You  don't  care  for  anybody  else? 

[Fanny  turns  away. 
AGNUS  (madly) 

Say  you  don't !     Say  you  don't ! 
FANNY  (impatiently) 

No !      But    I  '11    try    to  —  hereafter.      Let    me    go. 

You're  making  a  scene!      (Wrenches  herself  away 

and  goes  out;    he  follows) 
ONFROY  (viciously) 

He  needs  a  guardian.     (Points  to  laboratory)    He 

leaves  his  wits  in  there :   hat-checks  his  brains. 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  33 

MRS.    FELIX 

But  he  hat-checks  more  brains  than  all  of  us  carry 
around  everywhere. 

ONFROY 

It 's  damnable !  ( A  t  the  window)  Here  he  comes 
back  —  you  win.  It 's  written  all  over  his  face. 

AGNUS  (enters  again) 

She  's  given  me  time  to  think  it  over.  (To  Onfroy) 
She  's  gone  on  to  see  Olive. 

ONFROY  (to  Magnus) 

Yes,  since  you  long-distanced,  Olive 's  worried 
everybody  in  the  house  nearly  to  death  for  fear  her 
luncheon  would  n't  be  grand  enough  for  you  New 
Yorkers.  I  told  her :  "  Olive,  when  an  artist  enter 
tains  business  men,  he  condescends  —  " 

MAGNUS 

A  favorite  word  of  coxcombs.  (He  goes  toward 
door)  Tromper  included? 

ONFROY  (making  a  face) 
Oh,  I  suppose  so. 

MAGNUS 

Tromper ! 
TROMPER  (swelling  with  righteous  wrath  and  the  desire 

to  say  "  /  'm  as  good  as  you  are  "  but  afraid  to  in-  ^ 

suit  Magnus's  son-in-law)     I  '11  eat  at  the  Club  here          w 

—  thank  you.     (Stalks  forward  in  dignity) 
MAGNUS 

Tromper!     (Tromper  is  immediately  extinguished) 

Come  along! 

[They  go  out. 
ONFROY  (to  Judge  Critty) 

Olive  's  expecting  you,  too.    Don't  mind  what  I  said. 

Go  ahead.     Poo-bah! 


34  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

I  take  you  with  the  usual  salt,  Onfroy.  (Recovers 
his  dignity  by  having  thus  made  light  of  Onfroy) 
Professor ! 

VANILLITY  (to  Agnus) 
My  dear  lad  —  I  — 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

Tom! 

[Vanillity,  feeling  very  wretched,  shakes  Agnus's 
hand.  As  the  Judge's  back  is  turned,  he  shakes  his 
head  vigorously.  They  go  out. 

FANNY  (outside) 

Mother,  are  you  coming! 

MRS.  FELIX  (to  Onfroy,  hurriedly) 

She  '11  come  back  if  I  stay.  Argue  the  boy  out  of 
it  —  do.  Addington,  listen  to  Noel.  (She  goes) 

ONFROY  (alone  with  Agnus) 

Now,  you  bally  ass;  you  Simon  Simple;  you  Babe- 
in-the-Wood;  you  Hans  Clodhopper;  you  Little 
Claus  ;  you  —  you  everything  that  is  asinine  —  listen 
to  me ;  if  you  accept,  I  '11  never  speak  to  you  again ! 

AGNUS 

And  —  if  I  don't  —  she  wont! 

ONFROY 

More  than  that,  you  Lilliputian  brain-storm,  I  '11 
publish  your  infamy  in  every  medical  and  scientific 
journal  —  in  every  newspaper  and  magazine,  too, 
not  controlled  by  this  money-mad  crew.  You  !  —  the 
biggest  man  in  science  —  to  make  a  nigger-slave  of 
yourself  for  jews-harps  and  frill-frails!  Go  part 
your  hair  in  the  middle  and  comb  it  over  your  fore 
head  !  You  've  got  a  forehead  under  false  pretences. 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  35 

Your  hair  ought  to  grow  into  your  eyes.  Your  eyes 
should  close  together  like  a  smelt's.  You  ought  to 
have  a  chin  running  due  south.  Your  head  ought 
to  look  like  a  chipmunk's  or  like  a  Bartlett  pear.  — 
Bah! 

AGNUS 

Life  's  nothing  without  her? 

ONFROY 

You  read  that  in  a  book.     You  won't  be  sure  you 
know    her    when    the    fashions    in    women's    clothes 
change.     You  're  mad  with  the  madness   of  a  man 
who  has  never  lived  with  women  before. 
AGNUS 

I  thank  Heaven  —  in  that  way  —  I  'm  'worthy  of 
her! 

ONFROY 

Oh,  you  fish !    You  eel !    Worthy  of  her?     She  is  n't 
worthy    to    carry   your    coat !      You  're    Addington 
Agnus,  the  man  who  won  the  Nobel  prize  —  try  to 
remember  the  name  —  Addington  Agnus. 
AGNUS 

You  've  never  loved,  Noel  — 

ONFROY 

A  dozen  times.  And  if  Olive  made  me  dissatisfied  to 
morrow,  I  might  love  a  dozen  times  more  before  I 
got  satisfied  again.  Marriage  made  me.  It  '11  ruin 
you.  Before  I  married,  I  was  a  pot-boiling  portrait- 
painter.  Now  I  'm  the  great  Noel  Onfroy,  the  Amer 
ican  Velasquez.  Love  should  serve  genius.  It  's 
more  important  for  me  to  paint  good  pictures  than 
to  be  foolish  for  six  months  or  a  year  with  some 
woman  who  does  n't  know  a  Michael  Angelo  from  a 
Christy  chromo  —  or  who  thinks  Gibson  is  a  great 


36  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

artist.     Now,  Fanny  does  n't  know  the  difference  be 
tween  your  work  and  that  of  some  tame  rabbit  in  a 
hutch  discovering  cheaper  ways   of  tanning  leather 
and  dyeing  cheese-cloth  — 
AGNUS 

Olive  did  n't  know  anything  about  art  when  you  met 
her. 

ONFEOY 

No,  but  I  soon  made  her  learn.  I  told  her  if  she 
did  n't  I  would  n't  marry  her.  And  I  did  n't,  either, 
until  she  spent  a  year  in  one  of  the  Julian  studios 
learning  how  little  she  was  and  how  big  art  was.  — 
You  ought  to  send  Fanny  to  a  School  of  Science  be 
fore  you  marry  her  — 

AGNUS  (miserably) 

She  'd  laugh  at  me  if  I  suggested  it. 

ONFROY  (angrily) 

Vain,  sickening  puss-in-boots ! 

AGNUS  (angrily) 

Noel,  you  're  talking  of  the  woman  I  love  — 
[Outside  a  figure  is   seen  at   that  moment  darting 
through  the  bushesy  trying  to  hide,  and  finally  crouch 
ing  down. 

ONFROY 

Of  the  minx  you  love;  the  caterwauling,  manicured, 
massaged,  Paris-gowned  cocodette  you  love  — 

AGNUS  (furious) 
Cocodette  ? 

ONFROY 

A   cocotte   who   keeps   chemically   pure  because   she 
knows   she  '11  fetch  a  higher  price  in  the  marriage 
market  —  a  married  kept-up  lady  — 
[Agnus  jumps  up  as  if  to  strike  him. 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  37 

ONFROY  (sombrely) 

Don't  do  it.     I  could  break  you  in  two. 

AGNUS  (low) 

That  finishes  us  —  our  friendship  — 

ONFROY  (with  real  feeling) 

I  'm  sorry  —  I  spoke  for  your  good :    to  bring  you 

to  your  senses,  Chub  — 

[Agnus  turns  away. 
ONFROY 

All  right.  —     Only  —  you  won't  accept  that  offer, 

will  you? 
AGNUS 

I  intend  to  marry  the  woman  I  love.     The  woman 

whose  shoestrings  you  are  n't  fit  to  — 

ONFROY 

Quoting  Chambers  —  McCutcheon  novels  again  — 
novels  written  for  fudge-munching  slatternly  wives 
to  read  on  their  way  to  an  equally  trashy  matinee  — 
their  house-work  undone  —  Fanny  Felixes  without 
money  — 
AGNUS  (turning  wildly) 

The  Devil  give  me  strength  to   thrash  you  within 

an  inch  of  your  life ! 

[Onfroy  catches  hold  of  his  hands. 

AGNUS  (helpless) 

The  Devil  give  me  strength  — 

[The  hitherto  crouching  figure  shoots  up  outside  and 
a  face  becomes  visible  at  the  window.  Neither  one  of 
the  men  inside  sees  it. 

ONFROY 

You  fool!  You  fool!  (Throws  Agnus  from  him 
and  goes  out  slamming  the  door  behind  him) 


38  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

[The  face  at   the  window  turns   to  see  Onfroy  go 
hurriedly  by.    Agnus,  rushing  after  him,  throws  open 
the  door,  thus  disclosing  a  man  in  the  garden  who  is 
waiting  to  enter. 
MAN 

Did  I  hear  my  name  mentioned?  (Enters.  He  is 
as  unlike  the  popular  conceptions  of  The  Demi  as 
possible,  being  short,  squat,  respectable,  fat  and 
Teutonic.  He  is  followed  by  a  queer  light  that  darts 
and  circles  the  ceiling)  You  called  me,  I  think! 
(He  closes  the  door) 

AGNUS  (backing) 

What!     What! 
MAN  (seating  himself  comfortably) 

You  called  me  — 
AGNUS 

You  ?    Who  are  you  ?  — 
MAN 

My  real  name  is  Wisdom.    You  called  me  The  Devil. 

[The  light  flashes  across  his  face  and  circles  around 

him. 
AGNUS 

I  —  you  — ! 

THE   DEVIL 

You  said:  "  The  Devil  give  me  strength." 

AGNUS 

You  —  The  Devil.  (Suddenly  convulsed  with  laugh 
ter,  sits  down) 

THE  DEVIL  (gruffly) 

Oh,  I  know,  I  look  like  the  devil,  but  not  like  The 
Devil.  But  this  was  the  only  body  handy  when  I 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  39 

got  back  from  Mars  the  last  time,  so  I  had  to  take 
it  — 

[The  light  darts  viciously  at  him. 
THE  DEVIL  (points  to  the  light,  laughing) 

There  's  the  real  owner  of  this  carcass  —  a  crazy 
German  anarchist.  —    He  was  howling  for  The  Devil 
just  as  you  were  —  wanted  me  to  help  blow  up  all 
the  capitalists  — 
[The  light  attacks  him  again. 

THE  DEVIL 

Tags  after  his  foolish  body,  hoping  I  '11  get  tired 
of  it  and  give  it  back,  I  suppose.  —  And  so  I  will 
when  I  find  a  better  one.  It 's  no  fun  for  a  fiend  of 
my  renowned  gentlemanly  appearance  to  be  masquer 
ading  as  a  Dutch  comedian.  Worse  than  that  — 
the  police  are  looking  for  it.  That 's  why  I  was  hid 
ing  in  your  garden  when  I  happened  to  hear  you 
call  me.  The  Devil,  in  j  ail  —  a  fine  tale  to  take  back 
to  Mars. 

AGNUS  (aghast) 

Man,  you  should  be  in  some  lunatic  asylum  — 

MAN 

Don't  call  me  "  man."  That 's  a  deadly  insult.  If 
ever  a  respectable  Martian  was  sick  of  anything,  it 's 
that  unreasonable  ignorant  ridiculous  combination 
of  poll-parrot  and  monkey  — 

AGNUS 

Poor  lunatic !  I  must  humor  you,  I  suppose.  — 
Have  you  forgotten  there  have  been  great  men? 

THE   DEVIL 

Never.  I  have  been  all  the  great  men  in  history. 
All  the  great  men  have  been  The  Devil:  alias  Wis- 


40  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

dom.  By  taking  possession  of  men's  bodies  I  have 
tried  to  set  up  an  ideal  to  strive  for,  set  the  race  an 
example.  And  then,  when  I  had  to  quit  and  go  back 
to  Mars,  each  time  the  human's  little  soul  came  back 
to  its  body  and,  finding  itself  with  too  much  power, 
was  responsible  for  all  the  inconsistencies,  treacher 
ies,  and  cruelties  that  have  puzzled  psychologists  and 
historians  — 
AGNUS 

You  are  a  plausible  lunatic,  anyway.  Would  you 
mind  mentioning  who  you  were,  for  instance  — 

THE   DEVIL 

Oh,  all  the  first-rate  fellows  —  Confucius,  Buddha, 
Mahomet  —  St.  Augustine,  Martin  Luther,  Moses  — 
to   mention   a   few  —  Shakespeare,   Dickens  —  those 
were  my  sentimental  days  — 
AGNUS  (amused) 

Oh!  you  wrote  Shakespeare's  plays,  did  you?  — 

THE  DEVIL 

All  the  good  ones  — 
AGNUS  (laughing  boisterously) 

Well,  that 's  settled  anyway  —  Bacon  did  n't  do  it, 
after  all  — 

THE   DEVIL 

Yes,  he  did  —  I  was  Bacon,  too. 
AGNUS  (with  ironical  politeness) 
Been  anybody  lately? 

THE   DEVIL 

Bernard  Shaw  was  my  last  appearance.  Just  be 
fore  my  last  trip  to  Mars.  I  see  he  's  made  good  use 
of  the  plays  I  wrote  for  him;  produced  some  very 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  41 

good  imitations;  caught  my  style,  so  to  speak.  I 
was  sorry  to  leave  Shaw.  I  was  having  rather  better 
success  waking  up  the  world  than  usual.  But  I 
simply  had  to  go  back  to  Mars  — 

AGNUS  {with  increasing  irony) 
Really?    Why? 

THE   DEVIL 

It 's  my  home.  When  news  came  there  some  ten 
thousand  years  ago  that  man  was  evolving  into  a 
thinking  brute,  the  Martians  realized  the  dawning 
intellect  would  need  a  guide.  I  was  the  most  ignorant 
of  all  Martians  —  I  had  tried  to  lead  a  revolt  to 
make  the  body  independent  of  the  spirit.  So,  instead 
of  going  on  to  a  higher  mental  state  —  my  soul 
transferred  from  planet  to  planet  until  finally  I 
should  reach  the  Sun,  which  is  the  perfection  of  the 
soul  —  instead  of  that,  I  was  sentenced  to  stand  still 
for  ten  thousand  years ;  to  act  as  the  link  between 
Mars  and  the  Earth;  to  make  men  fit  for  Mars, 
d'  you  understand? 

AGNUS  (faltering) 

One  of  us  is  insane,  that  is  certain. 

THE   DEVIL 

Mars,  you  will  remember,  is  red.    That 's  where  your 
dim  poetic  devil-makers  got  their  hell-fire  from. 
[Agnus  holds  his  head. 

THE   DEVIL 

The  only  true  thing  they  tell  about  me  is  that  I 
tempted  man  through  woman  to  wisdom.  I  have 
been  hated  and  reviled  as  wisdom  always  is.  But  my 
sentence  of  exile  will  soon  be  over  —  the  ten  thou 
sand  years  will  soon  be  up  —  and  then  I  can  quit 


42  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

ridiculous  man  forever  and  go  to  school  again  to  fit 

myself  for  the  Sun. 

[The  light  darts  impatiently  around. 

THE  DEVIL 

I  wish  that  ridiculous  Dutchman's  soul  would  quit 
bothering  me!  (To  the  light)  Is  n't  it  enough  that 
you  've  got  me  hiding  from  the  police,  you  imbecilic 
disembodied  spirit?  (To  Agnus)  Who  was  that 
handsome  fellow  in  the  velvet  jacket  who  just  ran  out 
of  here?  I  've  been  following  him  about  for  days 
hoping  he  '11  ask  my  help.  Then  I  could  give  this 
preposterous  paunch  back  to  that  light  comedian 
over  there.  (Points  to  light)  And  I  hope  the 
police  get  it. 

AGNUS 

You  're  a  scientific  kind  of  a  lunatic,  right  enough. 
Souls  do  leave  their  bodies  during  sleep  or  hypno 
tism  or  — 

THE  DEVIL  (satirically) 

Oh,  you  've  discovered  that,  have  you?     Only  fancy! 

AGNUS 

An  ordinary  lunatic  would  have  pretended  he  could 
change  himself  into  anything,  if  he  was  The  Devil  — 

THE  DEVIL 

As  soon  as  I  take  human  shape,  naturally  I  'm  bound 
by  human  laws.  And  each  time  I  get  back  from  Mars, 
I  must  circulate  around  until  some  one  calls  for  me. 
There  are  always  plenty  of  people  calling  for  The 
Devil.  And  then  I  have  no  choice  —  I  must  take 
the  first  I  hear  and  change  when  I  can.  And  so  I  'm 
chained  to  this  refugee  until  I  get  something  better 
—  like  that  velvet-jacket  fellow's  body,  for  instance. 
(Suddenly)  Is  he  married? 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  43 

AGNUS 

Who?  Noel  Onfroy !  Yes  —  I  'm  mad  —  overwork, 
I  suppose  —  (suddenly  clouded)  worry!  I  don't 
wonder  I  'm  mad;  I  don't  wonder!  (Feels  his  head 
and  closes  his  eyes) 

THE  DEVIL 

Oh,  too  bad  he  's  married.  I  should  have  thought 
of  that  before.  I  'd  rather  be  a  single  Dutch  come 
dian  than  a  married  Adonis.  It 's  bad  enough  being 
tied  to  one  human  body,  let  alone  two.  (Looks 
around  and  sees  that  the  light  has  disappeared) 
The  Dutchman 's  gone,  eh?  He  goes  back  to  his 
foolish  attic  every  now  and  then  to  see  if  the  police 
have  found  any  bombs  yet.  There  are  seven  sewed 
up  in  the  mattress  —  and  I  don't  dare  take  them 
out  of  the  house  for  fear  the  police  may  be  watching 
for  a  man  with  a  suit-case.  That  Dutchman  will  get 
me  in  jail  yet. 

AGNUS  (holding  his  head  and  looking  at  The  Devil  be 
tween  the  palms  of  his  hands)  You  use  singularly 
unclassical  language  for  the  Fount  of  All  Wisdom  — 

THE  DEVIL 

The  American  language.  When  I  'm  in  England,  I 
use  English.  —  By  the  way,  are  you  married? 

AGNUS 

I?       (Holds  his  head  harder) 

THE  DEVIL  (understanding) 

Not,  eh?  Well?  (He  rises,  advancing  on  Agnus, 
viewing  him  speculatively,  and  finally  approvingly) 

AGNUS  (alarmed,  dimly  conscious) 
Here!    What  now? 

THE  DEVIL  (fixing  his'  eyes  on  Agnus)  You  don't  be 
lieve  in  me? 


44  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

AGNUS 

Why  —  er  —  what  are  you  doing?  (In  panic) 
Don't  look  at  me  like  that,  (tie  starts  up) 

THE  DEVIL 

Sit  down ! 

[Agnus  struggles  but  sits  down. 

THE    DEVIL 

You  called  for  me  to  help  you.  I'm  going  to.  (He 
goes  to  the  windows  and  pulls  down  the  blinds) 

AGNUS 

Here !  What !  (He  tries  to  rise  but  only  sits  starkly 
upright  with  staring  eyes.  A  faint  luminosity  glows 
over  his  head) 

[The  Devil  puUs  up  the  chair  close;  their  knees 
touch.  He  leans  forward,  staring  into  Agnus's  eyes. 
The  luminosity  grows  brighter  about  Agnus's  head, 
rises  little  by  little,  flickers  and  flutters.  Meanwhile 
a  dull  crimson  light  has  glowed  over  The  Devil's 
head,  and  now  it  grows  steadily  and  moves  across  the 
space  until  it  rests  on  Agnus's  head,  where  it  settles 
and  sinks  downward,  disappearing. 

THE  DEVIL   (rising,  in  Agnus 's  body) 

Take  the  Dutchman's  body,  doctor  —  I  've  got  yours 
—  (A  second  luminosity  glows  at  window)  Quick! 
Here  comes  the  Dutchman  back.  Take  his  body,  or 
you  '11  be  homeless.  It 's  not  much  but  it 's  the  only 
one  I  've  got  to  give  you.  Quick !  I  need  you ! 
[Each  of  the  two  luminosities  dart  toward  the  sense 
less  body.  One  settles  and  disappears.  The  other 
flies  viciously  around  and  around  the  head.  The 
Devil  lets  up  the  shades,  shaking  with  laughter. 


ACT  i]        THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  45 

THE   DEVIL 

I  hardly  dare  ask  so  impertinent  a  question  —  but 
which  soul  won? 
AGNUS  (in  the  Dutchman's  body) 

You  scoundrel !    You  fiend !    You  blackguard ! 

THE   DEVIL 

That  might  be  either !    The  language  of  men  is  strik 
ingly  similar  under  great  loss.     Who  are  you?     The 
rightful  owner  or  an  usurper? 
AGNUS  (shaking  and  trembling  with  rage) 
Give  me  back  my  body,  or  I  '11  kill  you  — 

THE  DEVIL 

Kill  me?  You  can  only  kill  your  own  nice  attractive 
body.  You  '11  suffer  for  any  harm  done  to  it  when 
I  give  it  back.  So  don't  knock  out  any  teeth,  or 
you  '11  have  toothache  all  your  life. 
[The  light  has  been  darting  viciously  between  The 
Devil  and  Agnus. 

THE   DEVIL 

Oh,  go  home  to  your  bombs  again,  Schwartzenhopfel ! 
This  gentleman  did  n't  want  your  old  body.  When 
he  sees  how  ridiculous  it  looks  on  him,  he  's  liable  to 
shoot  himself  —  or  yourself.  Nobody  can  love  a 
body  like  that.  (He  draws  aside  curtains  hidmg  a 
mirror  set  in  the  wall)  I  leave  it  to  you,  Agnus. 
Can  you  blame  me  for  wanting  to  get  rid  of  it? 
[Agnus,  seeing  himself  as  a  short  squat  German, 
staggers  back  clutching  his  throat. 
THE  DEVIL  (having  smoothed  down  his  coat  lapels  so  as 
to  reveal  a  silk  shirt,  and  twisted  the  carelessly  tied 
necktie  to  a  smart  shape,  takes  off  tortoise-shell 
spectacles,  presenting,  instead  of  the  absorbed  scien- 


46  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS        [ACT  i 

tist,  a  young  debonair  man  of  fashion)     Now  —  am  I 

a  lunatic?     (Searches  pockets  and  finds  a  letter) 
AGNUS 

You  —  Devil  — 
THE  DEVIL  (correcting  him  suavely  as  he  exhibits  the 

address  on  the  letter)    Dr.  Agnus,  please ! 

CUBTAIN 


THE  SECOND  ACT 

The  scene  and  the  time  are  unchanged,  although 
one  minute  may  have  elapsed  since  the  last  word  was 
spoken.  During  this  time  Agnus  has  realized  his 
misfortune.  His  -face  has  ceased  to  be  agonized  and 
is  now  only  blank. 

The  Devil  still  stands  at  the  back  of  the  chair, 
twirling  Agnus9 s  former  moustache  and  admiring 
himself. 

The  light  is  stationary.1 

THE  DEVIL 

With  these  slight  alterations  in  your  dress,  your 
face  lighted  up  with  my  attractive  smile  (smiles) 
and  my  bold  intelligent  gaze,  you  are  a  handsome 
fellow,  Agnus  —  by  Saturn,  a  handsome  fellow !  I 
really  believe  I  'd  rather  have  this  body  than  that 
velvet-j  acketed  fellow's  — 
AGNUS  (pleadingly) 

Don't  say  that.  It 's  not  much  of  a  body.  I  have 
all  sorts  of  pains  and  aches  —  neglect,  you  know. 
You  '11  be  ill  half  your  time.  You  won't  have  any 
fun.  Now  this  body  (strikes  the  Dutchman's)  may 
not  be  good-looking,  but  what 's  that  ?  It 's  a  fine 
healthy  body  —  a  sound  body  — 
[The  light  bobs  up  and  down;  as  though  nodding 
sorrowfully. 

1  It  must  be  remembered  that  when  the  word  Agnus  is  written, 
it  means  Agnus's  spirit;  not  his  body,  that  is  now  The  Devil's. 


48  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

THE   DEVIL 

In  that  case  you  're  better  off  than  you  were.     You 
ought  to  thank  me. 
[The  light  darts  at  him. 

THE  DEVIL 

I  wish  I  could  lose  that  German. 
AGNUS  (feverishly) 

I  do  thank  you  —  physically.  But  that  is  n't  it. 
I  'm  engaged  —  to  a  girl.  She  —  she  —  she  won't 
know  me  in  this  body  — 

THE   DEVIL 

Engaged  to  a  girl!     Engaged!  —  (Blankly)      Has 
the  time  been  set  for  marriage? 
AGNUS 

No,  but  — 

THE  DEVIL 

Oh,  well,  that 's  all  right.     I  can  get  rid  of  her. 
AGNUS 

Get  rid  of  her?     Get  rid  of  her!     (Wildly)    What 

do  you  mean? 
THE  DEVIL  (with  a  gesture) 

Scat,  girl,  scat !     Chase  her  away ! 
AGNUS 

Oh!  you  (runs  at  him,  fist  clenched) 

THE   DEVIL 

Don't  forget  yourself  and  break  your  own  nose. 
AGNUS 

Oh,  what  am  I  to  do?  What  am  I  to  do?  (Ago- 
nizedly)  Oh,  don't  chase  her  away. 

THE   DEVIL 

What  then?    Want  me  to  hug  her?    Kiss  her? 
AGNUS 

Oh,  my  God,  no! 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  49 

THE   DEVIL 

Well? 

AGNUS 

You  don't  have  to  kiss  her !  — 

THE   DEVIL 

If  I  don't  kiss  her,  she  '11  be  kissing  me  — 
AGNUS 

Kissing  you ! 

THE  DEVIL 

It 's  always  the  neglectful  one  gets  kissed. 
AGNUS 

She  's  got  too  much  dignity  to  kiss  a  man  without 
being  kissed ! 

THE  DEVIL 

Then  she  does  n't  love  you  — 

AGNUS 

She  does  love  me ! 

THE  DEVIL 

When  a  woman  loves  a  man,  she  does  n't  care  which 
one  kisses  first  so  long  as  they  kiss.  I  'm  glad  she 
does  n't  love  you.  If  she  did,  rudeness  and  neglect, 
even  knocking  her  down,  would  only  make  her  love 
you  more.  But  women  get  very  dignified  when  a 
man  they  don't  love  ill-treats  them.  They  're  only 
too  glad  of  an  excuse  to  be  rid  of  him. 
AGNUS 

I  know  now  everything  ever  written  about  you  is 
true.  To  hit  a  woman  !  To  hit  a  woman ! 

THE   DEVIL 

An  empty  bureau-drawer  is  best.  It  makes  a  lot  of 
noise,  scares  them  to  death,  and  does  n't  really  hurt 
them  at  all. 


50  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

AGNUS 

You  devil! 

THE   DEVIL 

Dr.  Agnus,  please.  A  very  neat  little  book  could 
be  written  on  the  psychology  of  beating  children  and 
women  —  for  their  own  good,  of  course !  Never 
hurt  them :  that 's  very  coarse !  A  blow  should  be 
simply  a  little  more  effective  than  the  strongest 
word  —  and  should  never  be  used  until  the  last 
threat  is  exhausted.  Of  course,  if  your  vocabulary 
is  limited — (Shrugs  his  shoulders)  That 's  why 
there  's  so  much  wife-beating  among  the  lower  classes. 
The  really  well-educated  man  does  n't  need  to  beat 
his  wife  —  when  he  can  swear  at  her  in  seven 
different  languages  — 
[The  light  darts  viciously  at  him. 
AGNUS 

You  devil! 

THE  DEVIL 

Dr.  Agnus,  please.  (Indicating  the  light)  The 
Dutchman  is  angry,  too.  He  thinks  it 's  all  right  to 
blow  up  a  building  with  a  couple  of  hundred  people 
in  it.  But  to  lift  a  hand  against  a  woman  "  save 
in  kindness  "  —  oh,  my ! 
[The  light  is  suddenly  still. 

THE  DEVIL 

And  you,  doctor,  vivisect  dogs  oblivious  to  their 
screams  of  agony.  But  you  'd  refuse  to  speak  to 
the  man  who  inflicted  a  harmless  blow  on  his  wife. 
Oh,  you  ridiculous  humans! 

AGNUS 

Vivisection  saves  many  a  civilized  man. 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  51 

THE   DEVIL 

A  blow  at  the  right  time  saves  many  a  civilized 
woman.  Women  have  only  begun  to  be  civilized  — 
since  I  posed  as  a  woman  once  or  twice:  George 
Eliot,  George  Sand,  and  a  few  others.  You  don't 
laugh  this  time  as  you  did  when  I  said  I  was 
Shakespeare  and  Shaw  — 
[Agnus  wrings  his  hands  and  walks  away. 

THE    DEVIL 

You  see  I  discovered  —  in  spite  of  all  my  work  — 
that  as  soon  as  I  built  men  up  to  a  highly  civilized 
state,  they  fell  right  down  again.  There  was  Egypt 
—  look  at  the  Pyramids.  There  was  Greece  —  I 
was  proud  of  Greece  —  its  philosophy  —  drama  — 
architecture  —  I  've  never  done  so  well  since.  There 
was  Rome.  What  fellows  those  Romans  were  — 
owned  the  world.  There  was  Spain  —  so  did  she. 
England!  I  still  have  hopes  of  England  under  my 
new  system.  But  what  happened  to  the  others? 
Smash!  Crash!  Bang!  And  I  had  to  start  train 
ing  savages  again.  I  did  n't  realize  what  the  matter 
was  —  I  tried  every  system  —  and  then,  when 
England  started  to  smash,  my  eyes  opened  —  the 
fault  was  women  — 
AGNUS 

Why,  women  have  always  been  our  refining  influences. 
They  draw  out  our  nobler  selves. 

THE    DEVIL 

They  draw  out  your  sentimental  selves,  cunning 
minxes.  Men  were  dragged  down,  their  philosophy 
sapped,  their  reason  rotted,  by  living  with  inferior 
creatures.  You  see,  while  men  were  out  battling  with 
circumstances  and  learning  to  use  their  brains, 


52  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

women  were  slaves.  Had  brains,  right  enough,  but 
did  n't  get  a  chance  to  use  them.  Men  played  the 
grand  act  with  them  (imitating  a  pompous  man's 
tone) :  "  Now  don't  bother  your  little  head  about 
that,  dearie,  papa  '11  fix  it."  Well,  about  the 
beginning  of  the  last  century,  I  realized  I  must  let 
men  alone  for  awhile  —  and  work  on  women.  So 
first,  I  created  an  industrial  revolution  that  would 
send  women  out  to  work  in  the  world  —  like  men  — 

ANGUS  (angrily) 

That  proves  what  a  devil  you  are!  (Sentimentally) 
Ah,  those  good  old  days  when  every  father  could 
support  his  daughter  until  she  married  —  when 
every  wife  was  in  her  true  sphere  —  the  home. 

THE  DEVIL  (contemptuously) 

That  shows  how  men's  brains  have  gone  back  while 
I  worked  on  women.  I  was  so  absorbed  in  women 
that  I  forgot  men  for  fifty  years  until,  thoroughly 
alarmed,  I  created  Bernard  Shaw  out  of  an  ordinary 
Irish  wit  by  becoming  him  — 

AGNUS  (sarcastically) 

Oh,  you  were  n't  Ibsen,  then? 

THE   DEVIL 

Oh,  yes,  I  was  Ibsen.     But  that  was  in  the  cause 
of    women's     education  —  to     champion     the     New 
Woman  — 
AGNUS 

Is  there  any  great  man  you  were  not? 

THE   DEVIL 

No  great  ones.  Well,  my  work  on  woman  has  been 
effective.  She  's  learned  in  fifty  years  what  men  took 
thousands  to  learn.  In  another  fifty  she  '11  be  men's 
mental  equal.  And  her  sons  will  be  Supermen. 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  53 

Then  the  world  will  be  able  to  get  along  without 
me  — 

[There  is  a  ring  at  the  door. 

AGNUS  (jumps  up  and  is  about  to  open  the  door,  but 
remembers  his  changed  appearance;  he  peers  ago- 
nizedly  out  of  window  and  starts)  It 's  Fanny  — 
Fanny ! 

THE   DEVIL. 

The  girl? 

AGNUS 

Yes,  yes !    She  's  come  for  her  answer? 
{Fanny  rings  irritatedly. 

AGNUS  (to  The  Devil) 

Just  say :  "  I  accept,  Fanny  —  go  back  and  get  the 
others."    There  's  no  time  to  explain. 

THE   DEVIL 

Will  she  go  if  I  say  that? 

AGNUS 

Yes,  yes ! 

[Fanny  rings  again. 
THE  DEVIL 

An  arrogant  minx,  apparently.    You  've  trained  her 

badly.     But  we  '11  soon  fix  that ! 
AGNUS 

Will  you  go  —  please !     She  '11  look  in  the  window  in 

a  moment  and  see  me  —  I  mean  you  —  please  go! 

THE    DEVIL 

What  shall  I  say? 

AGNUS 

"  I  accept,  Fanny  —  go  back  and  get  the  others." 
But  no  putting  your  arm  around  her:  no  kissing! 


54  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  11 

THE    DEVIL      * 

No  fear !    I  wish  I  were  sure  she  would  n't  kiss  me  — 
[Fanny  rattles  the  knob;  the  door  is  opened  impa 
tiently,  and  she  enters  angrily. 
THE  DEVIL  (immediately) 

Fanny,  I  accept:  go  and  get  the  others. 

FANNY 

Oh,  there  you  are!     Why  did  you  keep  me  ringing 
there  like  a  fool? 

THE    DEVIL 

Was  that  ringing  like  a  fool's?     Suppose  you  go 

out  now  and  ring  like  a  sensible  person  —  just  to 

see  if  I  can  tell  the  difference! 

[Fanny  appears  dumfounded  and  cannot  find  words. 

The  Devil  smiles  encouragingly  at  her. 
AGNUS  (wildly) 

Fanny,  I  give  you  my  word  — 

[Fanny  stares  at  him.     Agnus  realizes  his  position 

and  grows  shamefacedly  silent. 
THE  DEVIL  {introducing  Agnus) 

My    friend,    Mr.    Schwartzenhopfel.     A    very    nice 

fellow  —  with  a  ridiculous  name. 

[The  light  darts  at  him  viciously. 

THE    DEVIL 

Heard  me  speak  so  much  of  you  —  feels  like  an  old 
friend.  —     Call    her    "  Fanny,"    Schwartzenhopfel. 
Call  him  "  Hop,"  Fanny  —  "  Hop  "  for  short. 
FANNY  (recovering  her  breath) 
You  've  been  drinking ! 

THE    DEVIL 

You  must  learn  to  love  Hop,  Fanny.     If  I  should 
die,  I  should  never  want  you  to  marry  anyone  but 


ACT  n]       THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  55 

Hop.  (With  a  tremendous  slap  on  Agnus's  back) 
[The  light  darts. 

FANNY 

I  can't  understand  your  conduct,  Addington?  I'm 
at  a  loss! 

THE    DEVIL 

Why  — 

[Agnus  punches  him  in  the  ribs. 
THE  DEVIL  (recollecting) 

Oh!  it 's  all  right,  Fanny.  It's  all  right!  (Care 
fully)  Fanny  —  I  —  accept  —  go  —  and  —  get  — 
the  —  others  — 

FANNY 

You  do  accept? 

THE    DEVIL 

Fanny,  I  accept.     Go  and  get  the  others. 

FANNY 

You  accept  — 

THE    DEVIL 

Fanny,  I  accept.     Go  and  — 

FANNY  (kissing  him) 
You  dear  old  darling! 

[The  Devil  puts  his  arm  about  her  with  a  sly  wink 
at  the  raging  Agnus. 

FANNY 

Now  you   can   set  the  wedding  for   any  date  you 
please  —  next  month  if  you  like  — 
[The  Devil  takes  his  arm  away. 

FANNY 

You  've  made  me  the  happiest  girl  in  the  world  — 
(Kisses  him  again) 


56  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

THE  DEVIL  (in  a  hollow  tone) 
Go  and  get  the  others. 

FANNY 

I  will.     I  will.     Oh,  you  dear!     (Kisses  him  again 
and  goes  out  through  the  upper  door  m  the  rear) 
[The  Devil  turns  a  look  of  reproachful  and  frigid 
dignity  on  Agnus.    The  light  dances  about  in  joyful 
hatred. 

THE  DEVIL  (to  the  light) 

Get  out  of  here,  you  Teutonic  accident !  ( To 
Agnus)  Dug  a  little  share  for  me,  didn't  you? 
Married  next  month! 

AGNUS  (alarmed) 

I  don't  want  her  to  marry  you. 

THE    DEVIL 

Then  why  tell  me  to  "  accept,  Fanny,  go  and  get 
the  others,"  eh? 

AGNUS 

Did  n't  have  to  have  time  to  explain  everything  to 
you? 

THE    DEVIL 

What  did  I  accept? 

AGNUS 

One  hundred  thousand  dollars  a  year:  chief  chemist 
to  the  John  Magnus  works  — 

THE  DEVIL 

Who  are  "  the  others  "  she  went  to  get  ? 
AGNUS 

John  Magnus  — 
THE  DEVIL  (interrupting) 

The  richest  man  in  the  world  —  is  n't  he? 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  57 

AGNUS  (contemptuously) 

I  thought  The  Devil  knew  everything  — 

THE  DEVIL 

Everything  worth  knowing  —  but  I  can't  keep  track 
of  the  petty  things. 

AGNUS 

Petty?     John  Magnus  —  while  not  the  richest  man 

—  controls  the  money-market.     Petty  ? 

THE  DEVIL 

Any  man  with  brains  enough  to  control  money- 
markets  might  be  a  fifth-rate  scientist,  a  fourth-rate 
painter,  or  a  third-rate  author!  He  must  be  petty 
if  he  's  willing  to  be  nothing  but  a  first-class  financier. 
One  thing  I  never  was  —  a  financier !  Could  n't 
waste  my  time.  Financiers,  lawyers,  stock-jobbers, 
and  thieves  generally  are  the  tumors  on  the  human 
race!  When  I  get  through  training  women,  their 
superman  sons  will  be  the  surgeons  who  remove  those 
tumors —  (Suddenly)  I  see!  She  wants  you  to 
give  up  science  for  a  paying  job  under  Magnus 

—  eh? 

AGNUS 

Why  — 

THE  DEVIL 

Enough!    What  was  your  line? 
AGNUS 

Well  —  to  explain  quickly  —  but  not  quite  accu 
rately  —  immortality  — 

THE  DEVIL 

The  devil  you  say !  Pardon  my  using  human  terms ! 
But  —  immortality ! 


58  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

AGNUS 

I  've  made  an  animal's  functions  live  after  the  animal 
died. 

THE  DEVIL 

That 's  enough.  And  without  my  help !  Why,  that 
was  my  very  next  job!  To  take  some  scientist's 
body  for  a  few  years  and  start  the  world  on  the 
path  toward  longer  life.  Of  course,  immortality  of 
the  body  is  all  rot.  It 's  bound  to  wear  out  some 
time.  But  —  five  hundred  years  —  that 's  possible. 
It  would  save  putting  souls  back  into  new-borns. 
For  it  takes  a  hundred  ordinary  human  lives  to  be 
ready  for  Mars.  Out  of  all  the  billions  of  men 
who  have  lived,  we  have  only  a  few  thousand  earth- 
people  up  there.  The  second-rate  geniuses  — 
Napoleon,  Caesar,  George  Washington,  Tamerlane 

—  all  the  second-raters  — 

AGNUS 

Napoleon  —  Caesar  —  Washington  —  second- 
raters  ? 

THE  DEVIL 

Of  course!  All  the  first-raters  were — (points  to 
himself)  All  soldiers  are  second-rate.  Just  as  all 
financiers  are  about  tenth-rate  —  compared  to  the 
great  teachers,  who  help  humanity  to  progress  — 
like  —  like  —  (struck  by  a  thought)  like  you 
yourself.  (With  an  access  of  respect)  Man  —  I  '11 
do  the  right  thing  by  you !  Before  I  quit  this  body 

—  I  '11  give  you  the  secret  of  making  men  live  half  a 
millennium. 

AGNUS  (the  man  forgotten  in  the  scientist) 
You  will?     (Delightedly)    You  will? 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  59 

THE  DEVIL  (shakes  hands) 

And  she  was  going  to  make  you  a  hack? 
AGNUS 

Well,  you  see,  she  's  a  very  superior  girl. 

[The  Devil  snorts. 
AGNUS 

And  I  really  should  give  her  the  surroundings  and 

luxuries  that  she  's  entitled  to  —  being  so  superior 

a  girl  — 

[The  Devil  snorts  again. 

AGNUS 

And  the  only  money  I  ever  made  was  that  Nobel 

prize  — 
THE  DEVIL  (starting) 

What?    You  won  the  Nobel  prize? 

[Agnus  nods. 
THE  DEVIL  (astounded) 

By  Saturn,  you  're  the  most  startling  combination 

of   ass   and   genius   I   ever  met !      Such  modesty   is 

actually  first-rate  — 
AGNUS  (deprecatorily) 

Oh,  don't  say  that  — 

THE  DEVIL 

But  such  infatuation  is  hundredth-rate.     Generally 
to  be  met  with  among  the  middle  classes  —  that  is, 
the  lowest  class  of  intelligence  — 
AGNUS 

The  middle  class  —  lowest? 

THE  DEVIL 

Creatures    of   law    and    respectability    always    are. 
Aristocracy  is  lower-class  people  getting  intelligence. 


60  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

Middle-class    people    only    get    money.     There    are 
hardly   any  American   aristocrats  —  and  those   few 
live  abroad  — 
AGNUS 

Nonsense !     You  would  n't  call    Miss    Felix    middle- 
class. 

THE  DEVIL 

Miss  Felix? 

AGNUS 

The  young  lady  — 

THE  DEVIL 

A  person  who  'd  burn  up  your  genius   in   the  fire 
that  boils    the    pot?     Worse    than    middle-class  — 
worthless  — 
AGNUS  (violently) 
Sir  — 

THE  DEVIL 

How  can  I  get  rid  of  her?    For  your  own  sake:  how 
can  I  get  rid  of  her? 
[Agnus  clenches  his  fists. 

THE  DEVIL 

I  must  play  Davy  Garrick  again  —  do  something  to 
disgust  her  — 
AGNUS   (violently  ironical) 

Just  treat  her  as  you  did  a  moment  ago. 

THE  DEVIL 

Trouble  is :  she  left  this  room  loving  me  —  twenty 
times  better  than  she  ever  loved  you.     How  can  I 
help  you  —  help  humanity  —  with  a  drab  like  that 
at  my  heels  —  ? 
AGNUS 

You —  (about  to  strike) 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  61 

THE  DEVIL  (laughs) 

Go  on:  disfigure  yourself! 

[Agnus  wrings  his  hands. 
THE  DEVIL    (crosses    and   recrosses    the   room;    stares 

moodily  out  of  window  with  his  hands  behind  back; 

then  suddenly  pointing  outside  the  window)     Who  5s 

that? 
AGNUS  (crossing  and  looking  out) 

That  actressy-looking  creature? 
THE  DEVIL  (impatiently) 

Yes,  yes  —  who  is  she? 

AGNUS 

Looking  for  lodgings,  I  believe.     Had  the  imperti 
nence  to  apply  here  — 

THE  DEVIL  (gloomily) 

She  's  found  them  by  this  time,  eh? 

AGNUS  (with  dignity) 

Nobody    here    takes    lodgers.      And    the    inn  —  the 
hotel  —  is  for  men  only  — 

THE   DEVIL 

Hurrah!!     (He  dashes  out    through    the  door   and 

disappears;  his  voice  is  heard  outside)     Hi,  there! 

Wait  a  minute! 

[The    light     settles    sympathetically    on    Agnus9s 

shoulder. 
AGNUS  (to  the  light) 

Poor  devil !    You  're  worse  off  than  I  am. 

[The  light  wags  dolefully. 
AGNUS  (excitedly) 

He's     bringing    her     back  —  bringing    her  —  in  — 

here  — 
THE  DEVIL  (outside) 

This  way,  Miss  Blondin! 


62  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

[The  Devil  enters  together  with  Doll  Blondin,  who 
is  typical  of  the  Broadway  idea  of  refinement 
and  taste:  dark  blue  Norfolk  jacket  suit;  small 
French  skull-cap  with  tassel,  her  curly  hair  escaping 
from  beneath  it;  high  collar  and  jabot  of  lace  that 
falls  almost  to  her  belt;  short  vamp  suede  pumps 
without  toe-cap;  preposterously  high  Cuban  heels. 
The  combination  of  country  suit  with  city  shoes,  of 
jabot  and  lingerie  waist  —  instead  of  tailored  waist 
and  plain  collar  and  tie  —  with  cap  suitable  only  for 
evening  wear,  serve  to  mark  her  as  one  who  dresses 
with  instinctive  taste  but  without  the  consistency  of 
the  upper-class  woman.  However,  she  is  a  most 
attractive  girl  —  about  twenty-three  —  and  has  an 
air  of  sophistication  grafted  on  a  babyish  ingenuous 
ness,  which  makes  anything  she  says  quaintly 
pleasing. 

DOLL  BLONDIN  (turning  to  The  Devil  who  has  been 
following  her  in)  I  was  told  here  you  would  n't 
think  of  taking  lodgers  — 

THE   DEVIL 

I  was  n't  consulted  — *•  I  need  a  pretty  girl  like  you 
around  the  house  just  now. 

DOLL   BLONDIN    (suspiciously) 

Look    here  —  is    there    an    older    woman    here  —  a 

housekeeper  — 
AGNUS  (with  sudden  wild  hope) 

No,  there  is  n't. 
DOLL  BLONDIN  ( to  The  Devil) 

Well,  mind :  no  tricks ! 
THE  DEVIL  (pained) 

My  dear  girl! 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  63 

DOLL    BLONDIN 

I  'm  as  much  the  lady  (primly)  as  any  you  know, 
even  if  I  am  on  the  stage.  Anybody  'ud  think  I 
was  a  crocodile  or  some  other  wild  beast  the  way 
people  stare.  Not  used  to  seeing  girls  who  know 
how  to  dress,  I  guess.  What  do  these  rubes  know 
about  class? 

AGNUS  (in  anguish) 
This  is  impossible! 

DOLL  BLONDIN  (eyeing  him;    to  The  Devil) 
Servant  ? 

AGNUS 
Madam ! 

DOLL    BLONDIN 

How  dare  you  call  me  "  Madam  "  — 

THE   DEVIL 

He  's  a  "  rube,"  as  you  say.     Worse  —  a  German 

"  rube." 

[The  light  darts  viciously. 

THE    DEVIL 

The  worst  kind  of  a  "  rube."     {Going  over  to  the 

window  he  calls  hastily  to  Agnus)      Ring  for  the 

servant,  Schwartzenhopfel ! 
AGNUS  (violently) 

But  I  tell  you  — 
THE  DEVIL  (pointing  to  garden) 

Some  people  coming. 

[Agnus  runs  over  to  window;  then  he  runs  back  and 

rings  wildly. 

DOLL    BLONDIN 

I  'm  here  for  studying.  (Severely)  That 's  why  I 
left  New  York  where  gentlemen  know  how  to  treat 


64  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

ladies :  real  gentlemen  —  millionaires  —  that  could 
buy  and  sell  this  tank  town.  One  of  them  gave  me 
this  chance ;  a  chance  mighty  few  girls  get  —  a  part 
in  a  Vienna  opera.  No  objections  to  a  piano,  is 
there? 

AGNUS 

A  piano  ?    A  piano ! 

THE   DEVIL 

No  objection  whatever.      (Points   to  Agnus)     My 
German  friend  will  tune  it  for  you.     One  good  thing 
about  Germans  —  they  can  all  tune  pianos. 
[The  light  darts  viciously. 

TOPLISS  (enters  from  the  stairway;  an  unintelligent  but 
smart-looking  Englishman  who  wears  a  morning  coat 
with  gilt  buttons;  says  to  The  Devil)  You  rang,  sir? 

THE  DEVIL 

The  young  lady  will  board  here  — 
[The  bell  at  the  garden  door  rings. 
THE  DEVIL  (hastily) 

On  whatever  terms  she  says  —  a  room  for  her  piano 
and  her  meals  —  and  a  bedroom  — 

DOLL    BLONDIN 

And  bath! 

TOPLISS 

There  's  only  two  baths,  sir  —  yours  and  mine  — 

THE   DEVIL 

Give  her  half  of  yours. 

DOLL    BLONDIN 

Bathe  in  a  servant's  bath-tub !     I  should  say  not  — 
I  'm  as  much  of  a  lady  as  — 
THE  DEVIL  (interrupting) 
I  will  share  yours,  Topliss. 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  65 

DOLL  BLONDIN  (contemptuously) 

You  must  be  hard  up. 

[The  bell  is  heard  ringing  again.     Topliss  goes  to 

answer  it. 
AGNUS  (agonizedly) 

Show  her  to  her  rooms,  Topliss. 

[Topliss  looks  haughtily  at  Agnus. 

THE   DEVIL 

I  '11  see  to  the  door,  Topliss. 

[Topliss  takes  the  small  hand-bag  from  Doll  Blondin. 

DOLL  BLONDIN    ( to   Topliss,  loftily) 

Next   time  you  '11   see   your  master  before   turning 

people  down. 

[Doll  Blondin  and  Topliss  go  out  by  hall  door. 
THE   DEVIL   (running   to   hall   door  and  calling  after 

Doll)     Come  down  later  and  make  yourself  at  home. 

[Agnus  seats  himself  and  buries  his  face  in  his  hands 

groaning.     The  Devil  goes  to  door  and  admits  John 

Magnus,  Mrs.  Felix  and  Fanny. 
MAGNUS 

Tromper,  the  Judge,  and  the  Professor  have  gone 

for    a    ride    around    Rothlyn.      I    thought  —  this 

having  become  a  somewhat  personal  matter  — 
THE  DEVIL  (whispering  to  Agnus) 

Magnus  ? 

[Agnus  looks  up  despondently  and  nods. 
THE  DEVIL  (to  Mrs.  Felix,  forgetting  himself) 

No  mistaking  you :  you  're  one  of  my  trained  women. 

Any  child  you  will  have  —  will  be  worth  watching  — 
MRS.  FELIX  (taken  aback) 

What!      What's    this?      What?       My    poor    boy! 

(She  puts  her  hand  on  The  Devil's  shoulder) 


66  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

FANNY 

Addington  does  n't  need  your  pity,  mother ! 

THE  DEVIL  (recollecting  himself) 

Mother?  Fanny's  mother!  Oh,  but  that  must  have 
been  when  you  were  just  a  favorite  of  the  harem! 

MRS.  FELIX  (in  amazement) 

Whatever  has  come  over  you  ?  You  —  why,  you  — 
well  —  you  of  all  men!  (She  seats  herself,  staring 
at  him  with  a  sort  of  fascination) 

THE   DEVIL 

Your  husband  — 

FANNY 

We  've  had  enough  of  poor  father  for  one  day, 
Addington.  Let  him  rest  in  his  grave ! 

THE   DEVIL 

In  his  grave  —  good !  I  must  find  you  another  hus 
band.  One  worthy  of  you.  For  she  (indicates 
Fanny)  must  be  taking  after  her  father. 
MRS.  FELIX  (rises  and  goes  concernedly  to  The  Devil; 
puts  her  hand  on  his  shoulder)  Boy,  boy,  what  is 
it?  What  is  it?  (Suddenly)  Addington,  will  you 
leave  the  room  for  a  moment  and  (looking  at  Agnus) 
take  this  gentleman  with  you?  I  wish  to  speak 
privately  with  — 

THE   DEVIL 

You  had  plenty  of  time  to  speak  privately  with  — 

before  you  came  in.    You  think  I  've  gone  mad,  don't 

you? 

[Mrs.  Felix  steps  back,  showing  that  she  does. 

THE   DEVIL 

You  think  Fanny  's  driven  me  crazy  by  making  me 
take  Magnus's  offer?  Eh?  (Laughs)  Although, 
who  knows?  I  've  been  called  mad  many  times  before. 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  67 

Wisdom  is  always  madness  to  the  ignorant  —  and 
anyone  too  wise  for  them  to  understand  is  a  madman. 
Does  this  look  like  a  madman?  (Turns  to  Fanny) 
I  won't  take  Magnus's  offer  and  I  won't  marry  you. 
MAGNUS  (in  amazement) 

You  decline  —  after  just  accepting? 

THE   DEVIL 

Without  thanks !  ( To  Mrs.  Felix,  with  an  air  of 
dismissal)  I  hope  to  see  you  soon  again.  Mean 
while,  I  '11  start  hunting  that  husband  for  you.  (He 
smiles  amiably  while  all  stare  at  him  speechlessly: 
'all  animated  by  the  steadily  growing  conviction  that 
he  is  utterly  insane  —  although  his  final  words 
impress  Mrs.  Felix) 

MRS.  FELIX  (after  a  breathless  pause) 

It 's  only  a  spell.  It '11  pass.  (To  Agnus)  A  trip 's 
what  you  need  —  a  long  trip.  No  work.  No 
thinking.  Just  rest. 

THE  DEVIL  (amused) 

Still  diagnosing  insanity? 

MES.   FELIX 

Oh,  no!  Everyone  has  restless  spells.  The  excite 
ment  of  the  Nobel  prize  —  Mr.  Magnus's  offer  — 
Fanny  — 

FANNY 

Don't  blame  me,  mother.  I  'm  sure  this  is  just  what 
I  expected  —  keeping  at  those  horrid  microscopes 
day  and  night.  It  was  for  his  own  good  I  advised 
him  to  accept. 

THE   DEVIL 

Don't  lie,  Fanny. 

[Agnus,  agonized,  makes  gestures  for  The  Devil  to 

stop. 


68  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS      [ACT  n 

FANNY  (scandalized) 

Addington!  If  I  thought  you  were  responsible  for 
what  you  're  saying  — 

THE   DEVIL 

Now  see  here  —  all  of  you.  Here  am  I  —  Adding 
ton  Agnus  —  the  biggest  scientist  in  the  world 
today.  And  here  is  Fanny  Felix  —  a  mere  girl. 
And  because  I  suddenly  realize  my  own  importance 
and  her  lack  of  it,  even  you  (reproachfully  to  Mrs. 
Felix)  think  I  am  mad.  Think,  woman,  think! 

MRS.  FELIX  (gasping) 

But,  Addington  —  people  don't  change  their  entire 
personalities  in  half  an  hour  —  not  naturally  — 

AGNUS  (eagerly) 

Of  course  they  don't !     You  see  it  — 

MAGNUS  (disregarding  Agnus) 

Since  the  Doctor  seems  to  know  his  own  mind  at  last, 
I  think  we  had  better  leave  him  before  he  changes  it 
again  —  this  being  the  third  change  in  an  hour  — 

THE   DEVIL 

Don't  go,  Mr.  Magnus.  I  've  got  something  impor 
tant  to  say  to  you.  (To  Fanny)  You  can  go, 
though  — 

[Fanny  has  been  so  dumfounded  since  The  Devil 
stigmatized  her  as  a  "  mere  girl  "  that  she  has  been 
unable  to  move. 

THE   DEVIL 

Take  her  along,  Mrs.  Felix.  Try  to  train  her 
better  — 

MAGNUS 

Dr.  Agnus  —  when  you  grossly  insult  two  ladies  — 
my  friends  — 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  69 

THE  DEVIL  (impatiently) 

Well,  why  don't  they  go,  then? 

FANNY  (recovering  herself  with  an  effort) 

Mr.  Magnus  —  I —  (starts  for  door  and  opens  it) 
[The  Devil  has  turned  back,  not  even  waiting  to  see 
Fanny  go.  Agnus,  half  starting  to  detain  her,  half 
holding  back,  is  altogether  wild.  Mrs.  Felix  tugs  at 
Fanny  from  the  outside. 

FANNY  (in  a  carefully  restrained  voice) 
Mr.  Magnus! 

MAGNUS 

Coming!     (Starts  to  go) 

THE   DEVIL 

A  moment,  Mr.  Magnus.     (Eyes  him  steadily) 
[Magnus's  eyes  waver. 

MES.   FELIX   (coldly) 

When  you  come  to  your  senses,  Fanny,  you  will  find 
me  at  Olive's.  (She  goes  out) 

FANNY 

Mr.  Magnus,  will  you  pardon  me  —  a  moment.  I 
have  one  last  word  to  say  to  this  gentleman  —  one 
last  word  — 

THE   DEVIL 

May  it  be  true ;    but  I  'm  afraid  not.  —     In  here, 
Mr.  Magnus.      (Opens  hall  door) 
[Magnus  attempts   to  meet  The  Devil's  gaze  and 
fails.    He  goes  out. 
THE  DEVIL  (takes  out  his  watch) 

Now,  one  minute  is  all  I  can  give  you. 

[Fanny,    restraining   herself   as   before,    points    to 

Agnus. 

THE   DEVIL 

Here,  Schwartzenhopfel,  get  out ! 


70  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

AGNUS  (wildly) 

I  will  not !  Fanny  —  this  is  all  a  mistake.  This 
man  is  not  me  —  not  I,  I  mean  —  not  — 

FANNY  (bitterly) 
Two  lunatics! 

THE  DEVIL  (hustles  Agnus  to  stairway) 
Get  out ! 

AGNUS  (protesting) 

Fanny,  I  can  explain  everything  — 

[The  Devil  pushes  him  up.    Agnus  ascends  the  stairs 

stumblingly. 

THE  DEVIL  (looks  at  his  watch  again —  then  at  Fanny 
inquiringly;  holds  watch  in  hand)  One  minute. 

FANNY 

You  lack  even  the  commonest  instincts  of  decency. 
I  'm  ashamed  to  think  my  name  was  ever  linked  with 
yours. 

THE  DEVIL  (does  not  take  eyes  from  the  watch  during 
the  following  colloquy)  Twenty- two  and  one-half 
seconds  gone. 

FANNY  (raging) 

I  only  want  you  to  know  that  I  loathe  and  despise 
you.  Thank  Heaven,  I  'm  cured  of  my  infatuation. 
If  I  were  to  hear  you  were  dead,  it  would  n't  matter 
to  me  any  more  than  the  death  of  any  other  black 
guard  I  had  the  misfortune  to  know  — 

THE   DEVIL 

Ah,  you  know  blackguards,  do  you?  Thirty -nine 
and  two-thirds  seconds  gone  — 

FANNY 

What  I  could  have  seen  in  you  at  any  time  I  don't 
know  —  I  wonder  at  myself  —  and  I  laugh  —  yes, 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  71 

laugh,  I  tell  you  —  laugh  to  think  I  could  have  been 
so  taken  in.  I  hate  you !  I  hate  you ! !  I  hate  you ! ! ! 

AGNUS  (who  has  crept  down  the  stairs,  reenters) 
Fanny,  don't  say  that  — 

[The  Devil  picks  up  from  table  behind  him  a  brass 
ornament  and  throws  it  —  his  other  hand  still  hold 
ing  the  watch  as  before.  Agnus  disappears  in  order 
to  dodge  the  ornament. 

FANNY  (raging  on  through  this  by-play  which  she  does 
not  observe)  I  am  going  now,  never  to  return.  If 
you  should  see  me  again,  look  the  other  way  unless 
you  wish  to  be  cut  before  the  whole  world. 

THE  DEVIL  (snapping  watch) 

Minute 's  up.  (He  goes  to  the  door  to  admit 
Magnus  ) 

FANNY  (detaining  him) 

I  haven't  finished  yet.     (She  changes  her  attitude) 

THE   DEVIL 

Oh!  you  want  another  minute,  eh?  (Takes  out  his 
watch  again  and  regards  it  steadily) 

FANNY 

Don't  think  I  wish  to  detain  you —   Oh,  no!     (She 
laughs  sarcastically)     Oh,  no  indeed! 
THE  DEVIL  (following  thd  second  hand  of  watch  with 
finger  while  echoing  the  laugh )     Oh  —  indeed  not ! 
Another  ten  seconds  gone. 

FANNY 

I  only  did  n't  want  your  sleep  to  be  troubled  —  if 
people  without  consciences  are  ever  troubled.  I 
did  n't  want  your  sleep  to  be  troubled,  I  say,  with  the 
thought  of  any  girl  sobbing  in  secret.  My  heart  is 
quite  whole,  thank  you.  I  have  been  simply  playing 


72  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

a  game  all  along.  You  flattered  yourself  I  loved 
you.  (Laughs  almost  successfully)  Oh,  the  egotism 
of  you  men  — 

THE   DEVIL 

And  half  a  minute  gone. 

FANNY 

I  never  loved  you  — 

AGNUS  (who  has  crept  cautiously  down  again) 
Don't  say  that,  Fanny! 

[The  Devil  throws  another  brass  ornament  in  the 
same  way  as  before.  Agnus  disappears,  dodging. 

FANNY  (talking  on  through  this  incident ,  which  also 
goes  unnoticed  by  her)  Girls  must  marry  some 
body,  you  know  —  somebody  —  not  that  you  should 
be  too  much  flattered  by  being  called  somebody  — 

THE   DEVIL 

Thirty-five  seconds  —  and  a  third  — 
FANNY  (at  a  loss) 

No,  indeed  —  (Pauses) 

THE   DEVIL 

Oh,  yes,  I  assure  you  —  thirty-five  and  a  third  — 
forty,  now  — 

FANNY 

I  never  loved  you  — 

THE   DEVIL 

You  said  that  before  — 

FANNY   (viciously) 

And  now  I  hate  you  — 

THE   DEVIL 

You  said  that,  too.  You  seem  to  be  running  out  of 
ideas.  Fifty-three  seconds  gone,  but  I  used  three 
seconds  myself  and  hereby  credit  you  with  them. 
Fifty  — 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  73 

FANNY 

I  am  going  — 

THE  DEVIL 

And  —  quite  a  coincidence  —  so  is  the  time  — 
FANNY  (raging  again) 
I  am  going,  nev  — 

THE   DEVIL 

"  'er  to  return."     Are  n't  you  going  to  say  anything 
new? —      Too    late!      Minute's    up!      (Starts   for 
Magnus) 
FANNY  (still  unbelievingly) 

You  '11  let  me  go  like  this  —  without  a  word  — 

THE   DEVIL 

Without  a  word! 

FANNY 

Do  you  realize  I  am  going  out  of  your  life  forever  — 
THE  DEVIL  (sighing  heavily) 
What  a  chance! 

FANNY 

Well  —  I  am  —  I  'm  going  — 

THE   DEVIL 

"  Never  to  return  "  —  don't  say  it  again  — 

FANNY 

Oh,  you  are  sorry  —  Oh,  Addington!  I  knew  you 
did  n't  mean  to  be  cruel.  (She  bursts  into  tears  and 
throws  her  arms  around  him) 

THE  DEVIL  (as  she  hangs  about  his  neck) 
Hell !     Or  rather :  Mars ! 

[Agnus,  who  has  crept  up  from  behind,  now  urgently 
pokes  The  Devil  in  the  ribs.  The  Devil  gladly  trans 
fers  Fanny  to  him. 

AGNUS  (enraptured,  forgetting  everything) 
Fanny!    Fanny!    My  Own! 


74  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

FANNY  (looking  up) 

Ugh!    Ugh!   You  horrible  man! 
[The  light  darts  at  her. 

FANNY  (wrenching  herself  loose,  pushes  Agnus  into  a 
chair;  then  she  almost  screams  with  lost  self-respect) 
Addington  Agnus  !  I  '11  never  forgive  you  —  never 
—  never  —  never —  (She  rushes  outt  violently 
slamming  the  garden  door  behind  her) 

AGNUS  (collapsing) 
Now,  you  've  done  it ! 

THE  DEVIL  (imtatedly) 

When  she  was  quarrelling  with  me,  you  were  protest 
ing.  When  she  tried  to  make  up,  you  were  pro 
testing.  And  now  that  she  's  gone,  you  're  protesting. 

AGNUS 

I  've  lost  her  —  lost  her  — 

THE  DEVIL  (grimly) 

Dollars  to  doughnuts,  she  '11  find  some  excuse  to 
come  back.  I  knew  a  man  once  who  went  all  the 
way  from  San  Francisco  back  to  Denver  to  get  a 
tooth-brush  he  had  left  at  home.  Of  course,  he 
did  n't  go  to  see  his  wife !  Oh,  no !  He  had  quar 
relled  with  her  —  hated  the  sight  of  her.  But  how 
much  more  he  hated  losing  that  twenty-five-cent 
tooth-brush ! 

AGNUS 

If  you  think  she  '11  be  back  after  the  way  you  just 
treated  her,  you  may  know  some  women,  but  not 
well-bred  ones  — 

THE  DEVIL  (gloomily) 

"  When  it  comes  to  a  man  in  the  case,  they  're  as 
like  as  a  pair  of  new  pins."  I  '11  have  to  spring  the 
little  actress  on  her  yet,  if  I  want  to  get  rid  of  her. 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  75 

AGNUS 

Oh,  don't  do  that!  Don't  let  her  think  it's  on 
account  of  another  woman  —  and  such  a  woman  — 
living  in  the  house,  too.  She  '11  never  forgive  that. 
No  nice  woman  would. 

THE   DEVIL 

You  lamb !  I  've  known  women  —  nice  women,  too, 
mind  you  —  on  whom  such  a  woman  —  as  you  call 
her  —  acted  like  a  magnet.  Not  that  they  wanted 
to  come  back!  Oh,  no!  They  wanted  to  save  the 
man  from  an  abandoned  creature.  (Instructively) 
An  abandoned  creature,  Agnus,  is  any  other  woman. 
No  matter  how  good  her  character  is,  they  '11  say 
she 's  under  cover  with  enough  crime  to  crowd 
Callao  — 

[There  is  a  knock  at  the  hall  door. 
THE  DEVIL   (ironically  looking  toward  hall  door) 
Dear  man !     The    controller    of    the    money-market 
kept  waiting  by  a  mere  Nobel  prize-winner !    Terrible 
insolence !     Get  out,  Schwartzenhopfel ! 
[The  light  dances  defiantly. 

THE  DEVIL  (pointing  to  Agnus) 

Oh,  I  mean  —  him !  And  don't  come  sneaking  down 
the  stairway  again,  or  I  '11  do  some  awful  thing  to 
disgrace  you  forever.  Get  out !  See  that  the  young 
lady  gets  her  trunks.  (Pushes  him  off  upstairs)  No 
peeping,  mind! 
[Agnus  goes  disconsolately,  looking  back  as  he  goes. 

THE  DEVIL  (to  the  light) 

Schwartzenhopfel,    do    you    know   who 's    in    there? 
(Points  to  hallway) 
[The  light  dances  angrily. 


76  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

THE   DEVIL 

The  man  you  particularly  wanted  to  blow  up  with 

one  of  your  bombs. 

[The  light  becomes  attentive. 

THE   DEVIL 

Can  you  hear  me? 

{The  light  wags  and  then  remains  attentive  again. 

THE  DEVIL 

How  would  you  like  to  have  a  body  again?    Eh?    A 
better  body  than  you  ever  had? 
[The  light  dances  joyfully. 

THE  DEVIL 

Would  you  be  a  good  Dutchman  and  do  just  as  I 

told  you? 

[The  light  wags. 

THE  DEVIL 

Are  you   sorry   for   all   that   swearing  and   temper 
you  've  shown  since  you  've  been  a  light? 
[The  light  wags  slowly.     At  that  moment  the  hall 
door  opens  and  Magnus  reenters. 

THE   DEVIL 

I  was  just  — 
MAGNUS  (very  angry  at  having  been  kept  waiting) 

Good  day  to  you,  sir  — 
THE  DEVIL  (holding  his  arm) 

Magnus  —     (Fixes  him  with  his  eyes) 

[Magnus's  eyes  flutter  as  before.    He  struggles,  but 

gradually  yields  to  The  Devil's  power. 

THE   DEVIL 

Magnus,  sit  down! 

[The  dark  of  an  approaching  rain  begins  and  grows 
gradually  all  through  the  ensuing  dialogue  until  rain 
actually  falls. 


ACT  H]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  77 

MAGNUS  (zvith  a  flash  of  natural  spirit) 
Be  da  — 

[He  means  to  say:  "Be  damned  to  you91;  but 
The  Devil's  eyes  drive  out  defiance.  Magnus  sits 
down. 

THE  DEVIL 

Magnus,  look  at  me! 

MAGNUS 

I —  (He  tries  to  rouse  himself,  desperately,  but 
sinks  back  submissively) 

THE   DEVIL 

Magnus!    Look  at  me! 

[Magnus  tries  to  disobey,  but  his  eyes  are  literally 
torn  upward  and  into  The  Devil's. 
THE  DEVIL  (at  centre  table,  turns  on  electric  cigar- 
lighter  —  an    illuminated    disk    that    burns    dully) 
Magnus,  look  at  that  light ! 
[Magnus  is  still  staring  at  him. 

THE  DEVIL 

Not  me!  The  light!  Saves  my  energy. 
[Magnus  stares  still  at  him.  The  Devil  goes  to 
Magnus  and  turns  his  head,  arranging  it  as  a  pho 
tographer  does  for  position.  He  points  his  finger 
along  Magnus's  line  of  vision,  turning  it  toward  the 
luminous  disk.  Then  he  sits  down,  his  elbow  on  the 
table  near  the  cigar-lighter,  and  lights  cigarette. 
Leaning  his  head  on  his  palm,  he  stares  at  Magnus 
in  the  growing  darkness,  the  red  glow  of  cigarette 
growing  as  the  light  outside  begins  to  die  before  the 
rainstorm.  This  red  glow  lights  up  The  Devil's  face. 
The  light  bobs  closer,  inspecting  and  inquisitive. 

THE   DEVIL 

Magnus !     When  you  went  to   school,  they  taught 


78  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

you:  "Honesty  is  the  Best  Policy."  At  church: 
"  Love  your  fellow-men."  You  went  into  business. 
Two  years  later  —  you  were  a  bankrupt.  Why  ? 
MAGNUS  (in  hypnosis:  speaks  dully  and  mechanically) 
I  would  n't  buy  diseased  animals  and  dye  their  meat 
a  healthy  color  with  poison. 

THE   DEVIL 

That  was  being  honest.    What  else?    Speak! 

MAGNUS  {same  tone,  but  sleepier)  I  wouldn't  bring 
foreign  laborers  over  to  do  the  work  cheaper  than 
Americans.  The  more  ignorant  citizens,  the  more 
rascals  in  Congress.  The  more  rascals  in  Congress, 
the  worse  laws.  The  worse  laws,  the  worse  country. 
Worse  and  worse  —  until  only  a  revolution  could 
cure  it.  Out  of  a  revolution  —  a  soldier  tyrant  — 
a  Napoleon  —  an  Emperor  —  and"  three  centuries  — 
gone  to  hell  — 

THE   DEVIL 

That  was  loving  your  fellow-men.  What  else? 
Speak ! 

MAGNUS  (almost  asleep;  rouses  himself  with  an  effort) 
So,  without  cheap  meat  and  cheap  labor,  I  could  n't 
sell  at  cheap  prices.  My  wife  sold  her  jewels.  I 
kept  books  for  a  former  rival. 

THE  DEVIL  (thumbmg  Magnus's  forehead) 

That 's  what  you  •  got  for  being  honest  and  loving 
your  fellow-men,  eh?  How  did  you  get  the  courage 
to  be  a  crook? 

MAGNUS 

My  boy  —  Charles  —  consumptive  —  needed  change 
of  air  to  save  his  life  —  Denver  —  Los  Angeles  — 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  79 

the  Riviera.  —  A  bookkeeper  gets  twenty  a  week  — 
(His  head  drops  on  breast  again) 

THE   DEVIL 

No  chance  there !    Well  ? 

MAGNUS  (painfully  dragging  out  the  words  in  spite  of 
intense  sleepiness)     Tried  to  save  enough  —  no  use 

—  could  n't.  —     So  at  last  moment  I  falsified  books 

—  sent  the  boy  away  —     (His  head  drops) 
THE  DEVIL  (revives  him) 

Then? 

MAGNUS 

Speculated  —  to  return  first  money  —  won  —  the 
fever  got  me.  I  took  all  I  could  get  from  the 
office  safe  —  plunged  —  won —  (Relapses:  head 
drops) 

THE   DEVIL 

Honesty    ruined    you.      Stealing    made    you    rich. 
Loving    your    fellow-men    nearly    killed    your    boy. 
Hating  them  saved  him  —  eh?     (Shakes  him) 
MAGNUS  (roused,  speaks  in  shrill  voice) 

Went  back  into  the  old  business.  Did  what  others 
did.  Ran  the  thousands  into  millions.  Bought 
steel-mills  with  the  millions.  Froze  the  little  fellows 
out. 

THE  DEVIL 

Hating  them! 

MAGNUS 

Hating  everybody.  Needed  banks  to  swing  deals. 
Gave  a  million  to  politicians.  United  States  Treas 
ury  made  my  banks  National  Banks. 

THE   DEVIL 

National !    Ha,  ha !  —  National ! 
[Magnus's  head  drops  on  his  breast. 


80  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

THE  DEVIL  (reviving  him) 

And  lent  you  Government  money  to  run  more  little 
fellows  out  of  business,  eh? 

MAGNUS 

When    I    controlled    the    clearing-house,  I    refused 
some  banks  clearing-house  privileges. 

THE   DEVIL 

That  meant:  either  do  as  you  said  or  close  their 
doors?  When  they  realized  that,  you  began  to  con 
trol  the  money-market.  The  National  Currency? 
You  and  your  friends  are  the  Mint  —  the  Treasury 
of  the  Nation.  You  finance  wars  —  make  govern 
ments  —  keep  out  of  office  honest  men  who  won't 
make  the  laws  you  want —  (Revives  him) 
MAGNUS  (drowsily) 

No  man  can  be  President  unless  I  say  so. 
[The  light  darts  at  him. 

THE   DEVIL 

You  could  put  all  good  men  in  and  throw  all  bad 
ones  out?     But,  instead,  you  throw  all  good  ones 
out  and  put  all  bad  ones  in.     Those  who  will  do  as 
you  say. 
[Magnus  sleeps  noisily. 

THE   DEVIL 

Look,  Schwartzenhopfel !     The  Law  of  the  Land  — 
there ! 

[Magnus  snores.    A  dim  radiance  begins  to  surround 
his  head.     The  light  draws  as  close  as  possible.     A 
'few  splashes  of  rain  fall  on  the  windows. 
THE  DEVIL  (to  the  light) 

I  am  going  to  teach  him  that  while  one  cannot  be 
honest   in    this    world  —  today  —  dishonesty  can  be 


ACT  n]       THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  81 

atoned  for  only  by  loving  one's  fellows  more  instead 

of  less.     And  loving,  helping  — 

[The  radiance  grows  around    Magnus.     The    light 

draws  close  to  it. 
THE  DEVIL  (to  the  light) 

Schwartzenhopfel  —  come  away !     Don't   be    in    too 

much  of  a  hurry ! 

[The  light  retreats  reluctantly. 
THE  DEVIL  (to  the  light) 

Disobey  me  once  when  you  become  a  controller  of 

money-markets,  and  —  out  you  go  !     More :    I  may 

leave  you  to  linger  around  in  air  until  somebody  else 

wears  your  body  out. 

[The  light  trembles. 

THE  DEVIL 

It  is  nearly  time.  Remember  what  I  say.  Else 
better  stay  as  you  are  for  a  short  time  —  than  for  a 
lifetime!  You  are  only  the  instrument.  I  the 
player. 

[The  light  wags.     The  radiance  flickers  above  Mag 
nus's  head.    A  second  light  rises  slowly  to  ceiling. 
THE  DEVIL  (excitedly) 

Now,  Dutchman,  get  ready !  Go ! 
[The  light  darts  at  Magnus's  head.  At  the  same 
moment  the  storm  breaks  with  jury.  Great  splotches 
of  rain  are  thrown  at  the  window-panes.  The?  house 
rocks.  The  light  (Schwartzenhopfel)  sinks  out  of 
sight  above  Magnus's  head.  The  figure  of  Magnus 
is  left  in  darkness,  the  only  light  in  the  room  being 
the  suspended  one  (Magnus),  hanging  from  the 
ceiling  like  a  hypnotized  bee,  and  that  from  the 
cigar-lighter  which  falls  on  the  face  of  the  Devil.1 

1  In  referring  to  the  light  thereafter,  Magnus  is  meant. 


82  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

THE   DEVIL 

Well,  Schwartzenhopf el  ? 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (in  Magnus's  body) 
Ach  Gott! 

[The  Devil  turns  on  the  electricity  in  the  -fringed 
white  candelabrum,  whereby  the  room  becomes  per 
vaded  with  a  gentle  glow  of  light.  Schwartzenhopf  el 
rises,  stretches,  pats  himself;  throws  out  each  leg, 
each  arm;  tries  to  speak,  but  is  overcome  with 
emotion  and  bursts  into  tears.  From  tears  he  is 
translated  into  hysterical  laughter.  The  room  begins 
to  grow  lighter,  but  furious  rain  continues  outside. 
Schwartzenhopf  el  follows  the  light  around  the  room, 
pointing  at  it  derisively,  his  body  doubling  up  with 
speechless  laughter  each  time  he  points.  The  light 
moves  away  with  dignity.  Finally,  to  escape  perse 
cution,  it  flies  out  of  the  window. 

THE  DEVIL 

Here!      That   is   not   right.      (Satirically   amused) 

Driving  a  controller  of  money-markets  out  into  the 

rain. 

[Schwartzenhopf el,  paying  no  attention,  leaps  and 

bounds  about   the  room  like  an  unwieldly  baboon. 

Agnus  reenters  by  hall  door. 

AGNUS  (shocked) 
Mr.  Magnus ! 

[Schwartzenhopf el  goes  on  dancing  until  he  sees 
Agnus  in  full  light.  Then  seeing  himself  in  Agnus, 
he  bursts  into  another  roar  of  laughter,  pointing  in 
gleeful  derision  and  following  the  harassed  Agnus 
around,  each  time  pointing  and  roaring  with 
laughter,  as  he  did  with  the  light. 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  83 

AGNUS  (turning) 

Mr.  Magnus!     (Solicitously)     What  is  wrong,  sir? 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (after  another  outbreak,  hoarsely 

to  The  Devil)    Did  I  walk  like  that ?    Look  like  that? 

Oh,  what  liars  are  looking-glasses ! 

THE  DEVIL 

Men  don't  see  what  the  mirror  shows  them.  They 
see  what  they  look  to  see.  A  good-looking,  intelli 
gent,  well-groomed  countenance  for  each. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL,  ( to  The  Devil) 

I  don't  blame  you  for  wanting  to  get  rid  of  that! 
(Pokes  Agnus  with  his  finger)  Flabby,  too. 

AGNUS  (gasps  out  thoroughly  shocked) 

You  've  been  up  to  your  Devil's  tricks  again ! 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Better  trick  for  me  than  for  you !  Ha !  Ha !  (  Turns 
Agnus  around,  disconsolately)  I  don't  look  a  bit 
better  from  the  back !  (Solemnly)  I  'd  hate  to  see 
myself  undressed. 

THE   DEVIL 

The  best  part  of  you  is  talking  right  now. 
AGNUS  (almost  howlmg) 

Mr.  Magnus  —  what  have  you  done  with  Mr. 
Magnus  ? 

[The  light  comes  flying  back  through  window.  The 
Devil  points  to  it.  Schwartzenhopfel  points  also 
and  begins  following  the  light  about  as  before. 
The  light  is  about  to  fly  off  again  m  dignity,  but 
pauses  at  the  window. 

THE  DEVIL 

Here!  Leave  him  alone!  (To  Schwartzenhopfel) 
You  did  n't  like  it  when  I  did  it  to  you  — 


84  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

That 's  why  I  'm  doing  it  to  him.  He  's  a  tyrant,  a 
bloodsucker,  a  vampire,  a  murderer  of  poor  men's 
souls.  He  ought  to  be  hung,  drawn,  quartered,  and 
dynamited.  He  is  — 

THE  DEVIL 

You  had  better  keep  those  sentiments  to  yourself. 
Have  you  forgotten  who  you  are?  With  all  his  sins 
to  answer  for? 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (ceases  suddenly  to  rail  and  takes 
a  cigarette  which  he  lights)     I  did  miss  tobacco  — 

THE  DEVIL 

How  could  you  miss  tobacco  without  a  body? 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

It  soothes  the  soul.    A  fine  trick  you  played  me. 

THE  DEVIL 

And  a  fine  trick  you  played  me.     Leaving  bombs 
sewn  up  in  your  mattress. 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  {grinning) 

How  the  police  would  like  to  know  where  they  are. 
They  searched  the  room  today. 

THE  DEVIL 

I  shook  you  just  in  time  — 
AGNUS  {turning  pale) 
What  did  you  say? 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Searched    my    room  —  his  room.     (Points    to    The 
Devil)     Your  room  now.     Lucky    I'm    in   disguise! 
(Taps  body) 
AGNUS  (pale  and  trembling) 

Did  they  —  er  —  find  anything? 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL   (scornfully) 

Policemen  find  anything? 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  85 

AGNUS  (breathing  hard) 
Thank  God ! 

SCHWAETZENHOPFEL 

At  least  not  before  I  flew  away. 
AGNUS 

You  left  the  police  there  —  in  your  room? 

SCHWAETZENHOPFEL 

No,  in  your  room  —  smoking  and  trying  to  think. 
If  they  think  they  can  think,  what  do  they  think 
they  can  think  with? 
AGNUS  (in  trembling  tone) 
Where  is  your  room? 

SCHWAETZENHOPFEL 

Your  room  ?     Why,  over  the  shoemaker's   shop  — 

next  block? 

[Agnus  sits  down  unmanned. 

SCHWAETZENHOPFEL 

New  York  detectives,  too.     Central-office  "  dicks." 
None  of  your  common  country  constables  or  sheriffs 
for  me  —  I  'm  a  celebrated  man. 
AGNUS  (in  a  trembling  tone) 
You  —  you  are? 

SCHWAETZENHOPFEL 

No,  you  are.  From  Maine  to  Pensacola;  from 
'Frisco  to  Vancouver.  Nobody  makes  bombs  like 
old  Schwartzenhopfel.  I  hope  they  don't  find  those 
seven.  They  took  me  three  weeks  and  cost  three 
hundred  dollars. 
AGNUS 

I  —  I  hope  they  don't,  too.     I  —  I  think  I  '11  go  — 
now  —  g  —  g0  —  to  bed.     (He  starts  for  the  stair- 
.  way)     I   wonder   if   they  're   still   there  —  in   your 
room  ? 


86  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

My  dear  sir —  I  am  John  Magnus.  It  ain't  my 
room  — 

THE  DEVIL  (tO  Agnus) 

You  might  ask  Mr.  Magnus  to  go  over  and  find  out 
for  you? 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Me?     Got  a  photo  of  it,  haven't  you? 

THE  DEVIL 

No  —  him!     (Points  to  the  light) 

[The  light  contracts  and  moves    to    other    side    of 

room. 

THE  DEVIL  (crossing  over  to  it) 

What's  the  use  being  sulky,  Magnus?  You're  the 
only  one  here  who  can  do  it  without  anybody  seeing 
you.  Go  on!  For  this  poor  fellow's  sake  anyhow. 
(Points  to  Agnus)  Want  to  see  him  in  jail? 

AGNUS  (approaching  the  light) 

Mr.  Magnus,  sir  —  I  had  no  hand  in  this  —  I  am 
as  badly  off  as  you  —  I  am  Addington  Agnus.  That 
man  —  over  there  —  (pointing)  is  The  Devil. 

THE  DEVIL 

Dr.  Agnus,  please. 
AGNUS 

He  stole  my  body,  too,  and  made  me  take  this  one  — 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Ha!    Ha! 

AGNUS 

And  now  I  find  it 's  a  criminal's  body,  and  the  police 
are  looking  for  it.  Mr.  Magnus  —  please  — 

THE  DEVIL 

It  will  make  me  more  merciful,  Magnus. 


ACT  H]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  87 

[The  light  moves  sulkily  to  the  window.     The  storm 

has  blown  over  and  the  rain    is    turning    to    snow. 

However,  the  light  is  bright  enough  for  The  Devil 

to  turn  out  the  candles. 
THE  DEVIL  (to  the  light) 

When  you  come  back,  wag  once  —  like  this   (wags 

head)  if  the  Dutchman's  mattress  is  torn  up.    Twice 

if  it  is  n't. 

[The  light  flies  out  through  the  window. 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (throwing  up  window  and  calling 

after  the  light )     Over  the  shoemaker's  shop  —  next 

block  —  third    floor  —  you    can't    miss    it.      (Puts 

down  the  window) 
THE  DEVIL  (to  Schwartzenhopfel) 

Let 's  spare  his  feelings  while  he  's  gone.     I  wonder 

how  big  a  check  he  can  write. 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (excitedly) 

I  read  he  could  sjgn  one  for  two  million  dollars  — 

ready    money  —  a    check    for    two    millions  —  Ach 

Gott!    That  was  why  I  wanted  to  blow  him  up. 

THE    DEVIL    (coldly) 

Well,  you  've  got  your  chance  now.     A  chance  no 

anarchist  ever  had  before.     You  anarchists  always 

complain  you  can't  get  close  enough  to  millionaires. 

You  're  close  enough  — 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (turning  pale) 

What  do  you  mean? 
THE  DEVIL  (handing  him  a  sharp  paper-cutter  of  steel) 

Dig  this  (taps  it)  into  that —  (Taps  Schwartzen- 

hopfel's  heart) 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (turning  pale) 

That  would  be  murder! 


88  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

THE  DEVIL 

And  what 's  throwing  bombs  ? 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (protesting) 

I  don't  throw  'em.     I  make  'em.     I  never  threw  one. 

THE  DEVIL 

What's  the  difference? 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

I  never  sell  'em  to  blow  up  people.  Only  houses 
and  bridges  and  railroads  and  —  (vaguely)  —  er  — 
places  — 

THE  DEVIL 

You  just  said  you  wanted  to  blow  up  Magnus. 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (hanging  his  head) 

I  don't  blow  up  nobody ! 
THE  DEVIL  (scornfully) 

Socialist ! ! 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL   (furiously) 

Socialist?    Bourgeoisie!     Children!    Talkers!    Bah! 
THE  DEVIL  (tapping  him) 

Bourgeoisie!     Child!     Talker!     Bah! 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

You  lie  — 

THE  DEVIL 

Do  I?  (Offers  paper-cutter  again)  Prove  it! 
(Makes  the  motion  of  stabbing)  Anarchists  claim 
they  would  n't  let  John  Magnus  live  one  minute  if 
they  had  the  power  to  kill  him.  Here  's  the  power  — 
(Offers  knife  again) 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Teufel!    Teufel!    You  are  a  devil. 

THE  DEVIL 

Dr.  Agnus,  please!  (He  fingers  paper-cutter) 
You  know,  when  the  Anarchist  Council  hears  of  tbe 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  89 

chance  you're  throwing  away  —  pouff!  That  for 
you —  (stabbing  motion)  I  don't  know  but  what 
they  're  right.  This  is  too  good  a  chance  to  miss. 
(He  takes  Schwartzenhopfel  by  the'  collar  and 
flourishes  the  dagger) 
AGNUS 

Here!     Quit  that!     Quit! 

THE  DEVIL  (fixes  him  with  a  look  that  makes  him  fall 
back)  For  the  sake  of  the  thousands  of  lives 
Magnus  has  taken  to  make  his  millions  —  ( the 
dagger  descends) 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (on  his  knees,  howling  lustily) 
Police !  Police !  Police ! 

[Judge  Gritty  appears  at  the  window  looking  in 
from  garden,  sees  the  tableau  inside  without  being 
seen  himself,  and  runs  off  with  a  shocked,  terrified 
expression  on  his  face. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Police !    Police ! 

THE  DEVIL  (throws  down  the  knife  and  laughs  heartily) 
The  police?  An  anarchist  bawling  for  the  police! 
The  police!  If  the  Anarchist  Council  heard  that, 
they  'd  boil  you  in  Standard  Oil'.  Get  up !  (Sneers) 
Anarchist ! 
[Schwartzenhopfel  crawls  to  his  feet  shamefacedly. 

THE  DEVIL  (fixes  him  with  his  eye) 

I  might  have  known  that  a  man  who  makes  bombs 
to  blow  up  —  for  all  he  knows  —  women  and  chil 
dren,  would  be  just  your  kind  of  a  coward!  Oh, 
you  human  beings!  You  make  me  ill!  (He  takes  a 
check-book  from  the  pocket  of  Schwartzenhopfers 
coat)  What  did  you  think  I  gave  you  this  body 


90  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

for,  you  fool?  To  kill  it?  I  need  it  too  much. 
Where  did  you  read  that  about  the  two  million 
check? 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

In  a  London  paper. 

THE  DEVIL 

Then  there  's  a  chance,  it  9s  true.     If  you  'd  said  a 
New  York  one  —  Write !  —    (Hands  the  checkbook 
to  Schwartzenhopfel) 
[Schwartzenhopfel  looks  inquiringly  at  him. 

THE  DEVIL 

Pay  to  Addington  Agnus  —  two  million  — 
[Schwartzenhopfel  writes  out  the  check  and  signs  it. 

THE  DEVIL 

Now  endorse  it  so :  "  This  money  is  given  to  Dr. 
Addington  Agnus  to  further  scientific  researches  of 
inestimable  value.  The  amount  specified  need  detain 
no  bank  official  in  my  employ  from  cashing  it.  John 
Magnus." 

[Schwartzenhopfel  writes  while  The  Devil  is  dic 
tating. 

THE  DEVIL  (takes  the  check  and  scrutinizes  it) 

Look  at  that,  Agnus.  You  should  be  the  happiest 
man  in  the  world. 

AGNUS  (scrutinizing  the  check,  the  man  once  more  for 
gotten  in  the  scientist)  His  signature!  Magnus's! 
Why,  the  check  's  good ! 

[It  is  now  snowing  hard,  the  snow  encrusting  the 
windows. 

THE  DEVIL 

Of  course  it 's  good. 

AGNUS 

But  —  a  forgery ! 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  91 

THE    DEVIL 

Can  you  get  anybody  to  believe  that  coward  over 
there   is  n't  Magnus  ?      Now,    are  n't    you    glad    I 
happened  along  this  morning? 
AGNUS 

It  means  —  success  — 

THE  DEVIL 

Wiser  people  —  better  world  —  morals  adjust  them 
selves.     Forty  crooks  and  one  honest  man  in  a  com 
munity,  the  crooks  would  elect  the  honest  man  — 
because  wisdom  teaches   them  not  to   trust   crooks. 
The  only  incurable  crime  is  ignorance ! 
AGNUS  (protesting) 
The  only  one! 

THE   DEVIL 

Who  ever  heard  of  a  professional  crook  being  a 
murderer,  for  instance?  Only  ignorant  amateurs  — 
like  Schwartzenhopfel  here.  —  If  he  was  n't  ignorant, 
he  would  n't  murder. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

I  don't  murder. 

THE   DEVIL 

Tell  that  to  the  police.  Every  bomb  you  make  is  a 
potential  murder.  Why  are  they  looking  for  you? 
Answer ! 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (reluctantly) 

Somebody  used  one  of  my  bombs  somewhere.  I 
guess  somebody  else  snitched.  And  they  're  trying 
to  get  something  on  me ! 

AGNUS  (to  The  Devil,  bitterly) 

And  you  say  I  ought  to  be  the  happiest  man  in  the 
world  —  robbed  of  the  girl  I  love  —  of  my  name, 


92  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

my  reputation  —  in  danger  of  arrest,  jail,  maybe 
the  electric  chair  !  Very  happy  !  Oh,  yes  !  Ha ! 
Ha !  Ha !  Can't  you  give  me  a  broken  arm  or  leg 
or  head  to  make  my  happiness  complete? 

THE   DEVIL 

But  think  of  the  triumph  of  science.  (Waves  the 
check)  What 's  one  person's  feelings  compared  with 
the  good  of  the  world  — 

AGNUS 

Nothing  —  except  when  you  happen  to  be  that 
person.  (Feverishly)  What  shall  I  do  about  the 
police? 

THE  DEVIL   (points  to  Schwartzenhopfel) 

I  '11  shift  his  soul  over  to  his  own  body  and  make 
him  pay  the  penalty  of  his  own  crimes  — 
[Schwartzenhopfel  makes  a  dash  for  the  door,  opens 
it,  and  runs  wildly  out  into  the  snow. 

THE  DEVIL  (at  the  door) 
Come  back!     Come  back! 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL    (outside) 

So  you  can  switch  souls  on  me !     Not  much  — 
THE  DEVIL  (to  Agnus,  groaning) 

A  mad  anarchist  let  loose  with  a  billion  dollars! 
(Shouting)  Comeback!  I  won't  do  it! 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL    (outside) 

My  mother  always  taught  me  never  to  put  any  trust 
in  The  Devil. 
THE  DEVIL  (at  the  door) 

If  you  don't  come  back,  I  '11  run  the  paper-cutter 
through  your  real  body  and  rid  the  earth  of  you. 
(He  makes  a  threatening  pass  at  Agnus  with  the 
knife) 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  93 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL     (outside) 

What  do  I  care?  I  've  got  a  better  one,  and  all  the 
money  I  want.  You  won't  be  able  to  get  near  me. 
And  if  you  try,  I  '11  have  you  put  in  j  ail  as  an  anar 
chist.  I  'm  John  Magnus,  now.  (His  voice  comes 
from  farther  away)  And  Dr.  Agnus  is  the  man  the 
police  want. 

THE  DEVIL  (sternly) 

Come  back !  Or  I  '11  find  a  way  to  make  you !  Come 
back! 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (still  outside  but  slightly  afraid) 
Promise  then !  No  devil's  tricks !  Keep  your  eyes 
to  yourself. 

THE   DEVIL 

I  promise!  (To  Agnm)  I  need  him!  He  can 
repudiate  that  check. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL    (still   Outside) 

How  can  I  believe  you! 
THE  DEVIL  (in  awful  tones) 

You  worm!    Doubt  me,  do  you? 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL    (wlimlng) 

All   right,   Captain:   all   right!      (He  sneaks   back, 

holding  up  one  arm  defensively) 
THE  DEVIL  (closing  door) 

You    disobey    me    again    and    I  '11    make   you    wish 

wildcats  had  stolen  you  from  your  mother's  knee. 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (whining) 

Well,  who  wants  to  go  to  jail? 

[The  light  reappears  through  the  window. 
AGNUS  (feverishly) 

There  's  Mr.  Magnus  back.     (Addressing  the  light) 

Mr.  Magnus  —  sir  —  what  —  what  —  is  it  all  right? 

[The  light  bobs  once  solemnly. 


94  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

AGNUS  (relieved) 
It  's  all  right. 

THE   DEVIL 

He   wagged   once.      That    means    the    mattress    is 
torn  up. 
AGNUS 

I  asked  him:  "Is  it  all  right?"     And  he  nodded, 
(To  the  light)     Didn't  you,  Mr.  Magnus? 
[The  light  wags  crosswise,  as  though  it  was  shaking 
its  head. 

THE   DEVIL 

He  says  "  no." 

AGNUS 

No?    Yes? 

THE   DEVIL 

Look  here ;  we  agreed :  if  the  bombs  were  found,  once ; 

not  found,  twice.  (To  the  light)     Which  is  it?    Once 

or  twice? 

[The  light  wags  once. 
AGNUS  (wildly) 

Oh !   oh !   oh !    I  must  get  away !     Hide ! 

[Fanny  flings  open  the  door  without  knocking. 
THE  DEVIL  (to  Agnus,  indicating  her) 

What  did  I  tell  you ! 

[Agnus  stops,  forgetting  all  about  the  police. 
THE  DEVIL  (to  Agnus) 

Go  on !    Get  away !    Hide !    Do  it ! 

[Agnus     stares    at    Fanny.      Fanny    advances     as 

though  searching  for  something.    The  Devil  looks  at 

her  inquiringly. 
FANNY  (to  Schwartzenhopfel) 

Mr.  Magnus,  you  need  n't  think  I  came  back  to  see 

him.     I  left  my  veil  somewhere  about. 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  95 

THE  DEVIL  (winking  to  Agnus) 

Denver  to  San  Francisco  —  tooth-brush ! 

FANNY 

I  wish  you  'd  help  me  find  it  and  let  me  go,  Mr. 
Magnus. 

THE    DEVIL 

So  you  lost  your  tooth-brush? 

FANNY 

Mr.  Magnus  —  my  veil  — 

THE   DEVIL 

Veil  —  tooth-brush  —  any  excuse  will  do. 
FANNY  (ignoring  him) 

Mr.  Magnus,  your  chauffeur  says  the  snow  's  getting 
deep.  We  should  start  immediately. 

THE   DEVIL 

You  take  the  car,  Fanny.     You  and  your  mother. 
You  go  back.     Mr.  Magnus  stays  here. 
[Schwartzenhopfel  smiles  weakly. 

FANNY 

Mr.     Magnus  —  you  —  staying     here  —  with     this 

person  ? 

[Schwartzenhopfel  smiles  more  weakly. 

FANNY 

Not  on  my  account,  Mr.  Magnus,  please.  All  is 
over  between  us. 

THE  DEVIL  (instructively) 

In  moments  of  anger,  the  debutante's  language  and 
the  shop-girl's  cannot  be  distinguished.  That  is 
because  —  while  debutantes  are  taught  proper  lan 
guage  for  ordinary  things,  no  one  can  be  taught 
proper  language  for  extraordinary  things.  So,  as 
both  debutantes  and  shop-girls  read  the  best-selling 
novels,  both  go  to  them  for  the  language  of  distress. 


96  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

Hence  the  similarity.  ( With  college  professor's 
gesture)  Class  on  Feminine  Psychology  dismissed 
for  the  day.  Our  next  subject  will  be:  How  to 
Insult  Young  Ladies  so  That  They  Won't  Come 
Back. 

FANNY 

You  acknowledge  you  insulted  me  then? 

THE   DEVIL 

Cheerfully! 

FANNY 

You  hear  that,  Mr.  Magnus? 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (with  a  weak  smile) 
I  hear  it. 

FANNY 

And  you  —  in  spite  of  insults  to  the  daughter  of 
the  woman  you  profess  to  care  for  — 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

What!     (He  starts  violently) 

FANNY 

You  continue  under  his  roof  — 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Well,  you  see,  I  like  the  Doc  —  the  Doctor.     I  am 
interested  in  his  work.    I  just  gave  — 
[The  Devil  nudges  him. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (brightly) 

Oh,  it 's  all  right,  Doctor.     I  was  just  going  to  tell 
her  I  gave  you  a  check  for  two  million  dollars ! 
[Fanny  stands  speechless. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (anxiously,  seeing  The  Devil  scowl- 
ing)  Oh,  quite  legitimate  —  scientific  research.  For 
scientific  research  —  er  —  rightly  researched,  you 
know  —  what  is  two  million  —  that  is,  to  me ! 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  97 

THE   DEVIL 

You  fool! 
FANNY  (to  The  Devil) 

Is  this  so?  (See's  the  check  in  his  hand,  takes  it 
quickly  and  stands  for  a  second  quiet;  then  to 
Schwartzenhopfel,  bitterly)  Two  million!  And  I 
suppose  he  's  not  allowed  to  spend  more  than  two 
thousand  on  himself  —  and  wife  — 

THE    DEVIL    (sOttO    VOCe) 

Say  "  yes." 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  ( t o  The  Devil) 

What  did  you  say? 

[The  Devil  clenches  his  fists. 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (to  Fanny,  brightly) 

Oh,  no  limitations  —  he  can  spend  anything  he  likes 

on  himself  — 
FANNY  (eagerly) 

Say  half  of  what  you  would  have  paid  him  at  the 

Mills? 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL    (anxious   to   regain   The  Devil's 

good-will)      Half?     All!     All!     No   strings   to   my 

generosity,  young  lady.     I  want  him  to  be  happy  at 

his   work.      He   can   buy   an    automobile  —  or   a  — 

yacht  —  or  —  er  —  jewellery  —  or  —  anything  — 
FANNY  (throwing  herself  into  The  Devil's  arms) 

Addington!     Addington!     At  last! 

[Agnus  clenches  his  fists  and  starts  across  room) 
THE  DEVIL  (in  an  injured  tone) 

I  thought  you  were  going  away  never  to  return? 

FANNY 

And  would  you  have  been  unhappy,  dearest? 

THE    DEVIL 

You  just  said:  "All  is  over  between  us  "  — 


98  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS      [ACT  n 

FANNY 

Just  to  see  what  you  would  say  —  and  I  saw  —  you 
grew  quite  red,  Addington  — 
THE  DEVIL  (bitterly) 

Yes  —  to  keep  from  laughing  — 

FANNY 

Ah !  Addington !  You  are  being  proud  now.  Look 
at  me!  How  I  have  sunk  my  pride,  determined  to 
get  to  the  bottom  of  this.  I  have  been  wrong.  I 
acknowledge  it.  I  had  no  right  to  interfere  with 
your  work.  I  came  back  to  tell  you  that  —  to 
sacrifice  myself,  too  — 

[The  Devil  stares  blankly  at  her.  Agnus  nudges  him 
fiercely  to  take  his  arm  away  from  Fanny.  The 
Devil  at  last  takes  his  arm  away. 

FANNY  (who  has  been  talking  in  the  meantime) 

But  Mr.  Magnus  has  repented.  He  has  seen  my 
side  of  the  case,  too.  We  can  have  a  town  house 
now,  Addington,  with  that  two  million  —  and  two 
motors  — 

THE  DEVIL  (sarcastically) 
Oh,  can  we? 

FANNY  (reproachfully) 

Remember,  I  was  ready  to  sacrifice  everything  for 
you.  I  *did  n't  know  Mr.  Magnus  would  be  so 
generous.  And  now  —  the  marriage,  dear  —  when? 
[Doll  Blondin  reenters  from  the  stairway,  hatless 
and  dressed  in  a  shirtwaist. 

DOLL    BLONDIN 

Who  's  going  to  help  your  man  bring  up  my  trunks  ? 
[Fanny  disengages  herself  from  the  Devil  and  stares 
at  Doll:  first  wildly,  then  savagely,  then  catlike. 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  99 

FANNY  (tragically  to  The  Devil) 

Explain ! 
AGNUS  (wildly) 

Fanny,  I  can  explain  everything. 

[Fanny  pushes  him  away.     Her  look  is  that  of  a 

tragedy-queen's   as   she  advances   with  folded  arms 

toward  The  Devil,  who  smiles  impishly,  sure  now  that 

he  has  rid  himself  of  her  for  good. 
FANNY 

Explain,  Addington  Agnus! 

[The  Devil  ignites  a  cigarette  at  the  electric  lighter, 

shrugs  his  shoulders  and  smiles  again. 
DOLL  BLONDIN  (who  has  come  down  to  The  Devil) 

Well,  how  about  those  trunks? 

THE    DEVIL 

Oh,  Schwartzenhopfel  will  help  you  — 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (indignantly,  as  if  to  say:  "  Re- 

member  I  am  John  Magnus  ")     What? 
THE  DEVIL  (pointing  to  Agnus)     Him! 

[Agnus  folds  his  arms  also  and  does  not  stir. 
THE  DEVIL  (to  Agnus) 

Best  thing  —  if  the  police  should  look  in  — 
AGNUS  (unhappily) 

What   do    I   care   for   the  police  —  or  anything  — 

now! 
FANNY  (to  The  Devil  in  a  dangerously  cold  tone) 

I  have  asked  for  an  explanation ! 
THE  DEVIL  (irritated) 

Oh,  don't  try  to  Sarah  Bernhardt  it,  Fanny.     You 

have  n't  the  talent.    Amateurs  trying  to  be  dramatic 

are  only  comic. 


100  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

FANNY  (turning  suddenly  to  Doll  Blondin  with  a 
"woman-to-woman-no-foolishness "  air)  What  are 
you  doing  in  this  house?  Are  you  the  new  house 
keeper,  or  the  parlor-maid? 

DOLL  BLONDIN  (half  stunned  and  half  admiring)  You 
cat,  you ! 

FANNY    (loudly) 

Who  is  this  woman? 

DOLL  BLONDIN  (aroused) 

I  'm  as  much  the  lady  as  you !  Howling  and  crying 
around  here.  What's  the  matter?  Are  you  crazy? 
(Suddenly  indignant)  Woman?  Do  you  think  — 
(Her  Broadway  mock  modesty  and  pretended  lady 
like  morality  halt  her  from  saying  what  she  means, 
so  she  explains  shortly)  I'm  boarding  here! 
(  Violently)  How  dared  you  think  anything  else  — 
Woman,  yourself! 

FANNY  (with  a  dry  laugh) 

Boarding?  Can't  you  think  of  a  better  story  than 
that?  Why  should  he  take  boarders? 

DOLL   BLONDIN    (shortly) 

Because  he  needs  my  twenty  a  week,  I  suppose. 
[Fanny  laughs  still  more  dryly. 
DOLL  BLONDIN  (enraged) 

Well,  anyway,  he  ran  after  me  in  the  street  and 
called  me  in.  (Seeing  she  has  hurt  Fanny,  she 
encourages  the  innuendo  wickedly)  Said  price 
didn't  matter — he  said.  (Violently  again)  But 
have  no  fear :  I  won't  stay  here  and  be  insulted :  I  '11 
go  — 

FANNY 

You  had  better  — 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGH.T  OB  MARS  101 

THE    DEVIL 

Miss  Blondin,  if  the  place,  or  the  food,  or  the  ser 
vice  is  unsatisfactory  —  go.  Otherwise  —  stay. 
This  lady  is  nothing  to  me. 

DOLL  BLONDIN  (in  cool  admir ation) 
Well,  you  are  a  brute ! 

FANNY  (to  The  Devil,  seeing  the  admiration  and  ren 
dered  wild  by  it)  I  understand  now!  This  is  why 
you  've  changed  so  suddenly.  The  sight  of  this 
woman  of  the  street  — 

DOLL  BLONDIN  (blazing) 
What? 

FANNY  (a  little  alarmed) 

Woman  in  the  street,  I  said  — 

DOLL    BLONDIN 

Oh! 

FANNY 

And  you  forget  your  honor,  your  duty,  your 
religion  — 

THE    DEVIL 

What  has  religion  got  to  do  with  it? 

FANNY 

Everything.  Well,  I  won't  permit  it.  I  care  nothing 
for  you.  I  hate  you.  But  there  's  a  law  in  the  land 
that  protects  defenceless  women  — 

THE    DEVIL 

Defenceless  ?     Not  unless  they  're  dumb ! 

FANNY 

And  I  '11  see  what  the  law  says.  I  '11  publish  you  in 
every  newspaper  in  the  country,  and  I  '11  tell  how  the 
great  scientist  ran  after  a  strange  woman  —  a 
woman  he  knew  nothing  about  —  and  begged  her  to 


102  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

live  in  his  house  so  she  would  be  convenient  to  make 

love  to. 

[Doll  Blondin  looks  at  him  suspiciously. 

FANNY 

Then  where  will  your  reputation  be?     Your  Nobel 
prize? 

DOLL    BLONDIN    (hastily) 

I  'm  glad  I  did  n't  have  my  trunks  unpacked  — 

THE    DEVIL 

Miss  Blondin  — 

DOLL    BLONDIN 

Who  do  you  think  's  paying  for  my  lessons,  my  edu 
cation?  Think  I  saved  it  out  of  a  chorus  salary? 
If  somebody  in  New  York  were  to  hear  such  a  story, 
it  would  be  good-bye  to  taking  part  of  my  pay  in 
three  sheets.  (Puts  out  her  hand)  But  I  '11  run  in 
on  you  every  now  and  then  to  say  "  Hello."  You  are 
such  a  brute! 
FANNY  (standing  between  them) 

You'll  do  nothing  of  the  sort,  d' you  hear? 

DOLL    BLONDIN 

Indeed,  miss? 

FANNY 

Indeed,  miss,  and  indeed,  miss  —  and    as    for    you, 

Addington  Agnus,  I  '11   stay  here  in  this  house  — 

with  mother,  until  our  wedding-day  — 
THE  DEVIL  (desperately) 

By  Saturn  —  I  wish  I  could  think  of  something  to 

do  to  you  — 
AGNUS  (desperately) 

Tell  her  the  truth  —  the  truth.     If  you  don't  want 

her,  I  want  her  — 

[A  noise  is  heard  outside. 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  103 

FANNY 

You! 

AGNUS 

Yes,  I!     Fanny,  listen!     Here    is    the  truth!     (He 
seizes  her,   overcome  with  love,   and  embraces  and 
kisses  her) 
[Fanny  screams. 
AGNUS 

Listen,  Fanny,  I  am  — 

[The  noise  increases.  The  door  is  thrown  open,  and 
through  it  are  seen  a  Detective-lieutenant  and  his  two 
men,  all  in  plain  clothes,  as  well  as  Sheriff  Peattie 
and  Judge  Critty.  They  appear  just  in  time  to  see 
Agnus  embrace  Fanny  and  to  hear  her  scream. 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

Here  are  the  police  you  called  for,  Mr.  Magnus.  I 
brought  them  as  fast  as  I  could. 
[Schwartzenhopfel  dodges  instinctively  at  the  word 
"  Police."  Agnus  releases  Fanny  and  plunges  head 
foremost  onto  the  sofa,  where  he  hides  ostrich-like 
among  the  pillows. 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (pointing  to  The  Devil) 
There  's  the  gentleman ! 

PEATTIE 

What?    Doctor  Agnus? 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

He  's  as  much  my  friend  as  yours,  Constable.  But 
he  must  have  gone  insane.  I  saw  him  —  through 
that  window  —  threatening  Mr.  Magnus  there  with  a 
knife.  Mr.  Magnus  was  —  I  regret  to  say  — 
reduced  to  kneeling  for  mercy  and  calling  for  the 
police  — 


104  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS      [ACT  n 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (with  shamefaced  recollection) 
Oh,  that  was — that  was  —  well —     (Looks  to  The 
Devil  for  assistance) 

THE    DEVIL 

That  was  only  a  little  play  we  were  rehearsing  for 
charity.  Don't  you  understand  —  a  rehearsal  — 
Ha!  Ha!  A  rehearsal! 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

That 's    it  —  play  —  charity  —  rehearsal  — 
JUDGE  CRITTY  (covered  with  confusion) 
I  'm  sure  I  'm  sorry  — 

PEATTIE 

I  'm  right  glad  —  I  'd  hate  to  see  Senator  Agnus's 
son  in  trouble.  My  apologies,  Doctor  —  for  these 
three  New  York  detectives  too  —  they  just  hap 
pened  to  be  by  when  the  Judge  located  me,  and  they 
came  along  to  help  me  —  thought  it  was  something 
desperate.  We  '11  go  — 

FANNY   (furiously) 

One  moment!     I  want  that  man  punished.     (Points 

to  Agnus  on  the  sofa)     For  the  second  time  today  — 

you  saw  him  —  he  has  grossly  insulted  me ! 

[Peattie  looks  around,  taken  aback. 
FANNY  (stamping  her  foot) 

I  want  him  punished,  I  say ! 
LIEUTENANT  (gruffly,  pointing  to  A  gnus9  s  buried  face) 

Looks   guilty,   Cap.      Trying  to  hide  like   that  the 

minute  he  sees  the  police. 
PEATTIE  (takes  one  quick  step  forward  and  jerks  Agnus 

to  his  feet)      Here,  what  about  this?     Can't  have 

ladies  insulted  hereabouts,  you  know. 
LIEUTENANT  (with  a  sudden  change  of  face) 

By  God,  boys  —  the  anarchist!     (Draws  revolver) 


ACT  n]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  105 

[The  women  scream.  The  two  detectives  draw  their 
revolvers  also. 

PEATTIE 

What?  Him?  The  fellow  you  been  looking  for  all 
day?  (Still  holding  Agnus  by  the  collar) 

LIEUTENANT 

That 's  the  bird ! 

[Peat  tie  lets  loose  Agnus  and  draws  ancient-looking 
Colt's  revolver,  which  he  points  at  him.     Agnus  is 
now  ringed  around  by  four  men  with  levelled  weapons. 
LIEUTENANT  (taking  out  handcuffs) 

Throw  up  your  hands,  Henry  Schwartzenhopfel  — 
[Agnus  throws  up  his  hands. 

LIEUTENANT 

Fan  him  for  artillery,  Hennessy. 

[The  Second  Detective  is  about  to  search  Agnus. 

THE  DEVIL 

Stop !     (All  stare  at  The  Devil)     He  9s  my  friend. 

PEATTIE 

But,  Doc  —  he  's  a  dynamiter  — 

THE  DEVIL 

No  matter,  stop ! 

LIEUTENANT 

Listen,  Mister  —  Doctor  —  whoever  you  are  —  you 
can't  give  orders  to  the  Law  — 

THE   DEVIL 

Yes,  I  can ;  and  the  Law  can  give  them  to  you.  And 
it  does;  now!  There's  the  Law.  (Points  to 
Schwartzenhopfel)  The  man  who  makes  you  a  police 
man  ;  who  makes  your  Chief  of  Police ;  your  Commis 
sioner;  who  makes  Mayors,  Governors,  Presidents! 
You  're  in  the  presence  of  Money,  you  oxen !  Take 


106  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS       [ACT  n 

off  your  hats  to  it  —  and  take  your  orders  from  it  — 

Mr.  John  Magnus  —  The  Law. 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (suddenly  realizing  his  power) 

And    I    order  you   to    let    Henry    Schwartzenhopfel 

alone,  now  and  all  the  time.     Schwartzenhopfel  {with 

his  hand  on  Agnus 's  shoulder)  is  my  friend,  too. 
DETECTIVES  (moving  away  in  awe) 

John  Magnus ! 
FANNY   (throwing  her  arms  around  The  Devil,  whose 

look  of  triumph  changes  to  one  of  hopeless  dismay) 

My  Hero! 

CURTAIN 


THE    THIRD    ACT 

The  same  room  as  before,  and  immediately  following 
the  preceding  situation  —  not  even  a  few  seconds  later, 
for  the  Detectives  and  the  Constable  are  just  putting 
away  their  revolvers. 

Doll  Blondin,  her  admiration  for  The  Devil  growing, 
looks  triumphant  as  he  irritably  disengages  Fanny's 
embrace.  Some  hope  is  revived  in  Doll  of  being  rid  of 
her. 

Fanny's  look  is  grimly  determined. 

Agnus,  relieved  from  a  terrible  situation,  looks  for 
the  first  time  gratefully  at  The  Devil. 

Schwartzenhopfel,  feeling  his  power  as  Magnus  and 
enjoying  it,  has  assumed  an  air  of  enormous  impor 
tance  —  by  the  simple  method  of  flattening  his  jowls 
on  the  collar  and  clearing  his  throat,  thus  deepening  his 
voice. 

Judge  Critty  is  divided  between  his  desire  to  serve 
Magnus  and  his  horror  at  open  defiance  of  the  Law  — 
when  he  knows  Magnus  is  aware  that  the  Law  could 
have  been  circumvented  secretly.  He  has  the  air  of 
saying,  "  Why  did  n't  you  tell  me,  and  I  'd  have  ar 
ranged  it."  Also  his  manner  is  extra- apologetic  and 
anxious,  for  he  has  blundered,  and  he  fears  the  loss  of 
Magnus's  good  offices. 

The  three  detectives  are  blankly  dismayed  at  having 
crossed  the  path  of  one  so  powerful  as  Magnus.  They 


108  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  m 

are  anxious  to  retreat,  but  realize  that  some  conces 
sions  must  be  made  to  the  conventions. 

St.  Elmo  Peattie,  the  Sheriff,  is  simply  confounded: 
for  he  is  an  honest  villager,  fearing  God,  and,  conse 
quently,  no  man.  He  is  shocked  at  The  Devil  daring 
to  put  any  man  —  Magnus,  Toft,  Wilson,  Morgan, 
Rockefeller,  or  even  Roosevelt  —  above  the  Law. 
Though  he  has  no  authority  in  the  matter  —  the  war 
rants  being  in  the  Lieutenant's  hands  —  Peattie  feels 
called  upon  to  protest  in  the  name  of  civic  dignity, 
and  to  uphold  the  faith  of  his  fathers  —  the  faith  in 
which  Jefferson  wrote;  on  which  Burr,  a  Vice-Presi 
dent,  was  convicted  of  treason;  for  which  Washington 
fought  and  Nathan  Hale  died. 

PEATTIE  (to  the  Detectives) 

What 's   gone   wrong,   pardners  ?      Why   don't   you 
handcuff  that  there  dynamiter? 

LIEUTENANT  (roughly) 
What  dynamiter? 

PEATTIE  (points  to  Agnus) 

Fellow  you  've  been  hunting  for  all  day  — 

LIEUTENANT  (taking  out  his  note-book) 
Will  you  swear  he  's  a  dynamiter? 

PEATTIE 

I  ain't  never  heard  of  him  before.     How  '11  7  swear? 

LIEUTENANT  (trying  to  make  his  tone  official  by  speak 
ing  sternly,  as  if  determined  to  get  at  evidence) 
You  've  seen  him  about  the  village  every  day? 

PEATTIE 

Sure  —  but  — 

LIEUTENANT 

Just  answer  my  questions:   how  has  he  behaved? 


ACT  m]     THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  109 

PEATTIE 

I  see  him  going  into  Pete  Mellish's  and  into  Gus 
Hobbs's  — 

LIEUTENANT  (with  heavy  constabulary  levity) 

And  —  did  he  try  to  dynamite  —  er  —  Pete  Jelly 
fish —  or  Corn  Cob's  —  whatever  their  names  are? 

PEATTIE 

Hush,  man !  Pete  's  our  grocer.  Gus  's  our  butcher. 
Prisoner  's  human,  ain't  he?  He  's  got  to  eat  — 

LIEUTENANT  (making  note) 

Bought  groceries  and  meat  daily.  (Relieved)  Well, 
that  ain't  criminal. 

PEATTIE  (sulkily) 

I  never  see  him  dynamite  nobody,  if  that  's  what 
you  're  trying  to  get  at.  Allus  bin  civil  enough  to  me. 
Gi'  me  a  cigar  once. 

LIEUTENANT  (poising  pencil  with  same  heavy  police 
humor)  Ah !  Cigar !  Loaded  ? 

PEATTIE  (annoyed) 

No,  't  war  n't  'T  was  as  good  as  any  two  fer  a 
nickel  I  ever  bought  myself. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (scandalized  as  he  remembers  the 
episode  and  the  price)  Two  for  a  nickel!  It  was 
a —  (Pulls  himself  up  sharply) 

LIEUTENANT  (explaining  apologetically,  supposing  the 
outbreak  to  be  due  to  a  millionaire's  ignorance  of 
such  cheap  matters)  An  expression,  Mr.  Magnus 
— "  twofera  nickel "  is  two  cigars  for  five  cents. 
Rubes  smoke  'em. 

PEATTIE  (angry) 

Rubes,  eh?  Well,  thank  Joshyouway,  I  ain't  a  New 
Yorker,  mister  —  where  every  next  fella  's  a  Harp 
or  a  Ginny,  a  Kike  or  a  Polack;  where  haff  of  'em 


110  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  m 

don't  even  talk  Amurrican.  (Turning  to  The  Devil, 
who  has  been  listening  with  approval)  Doctor  Ag 
nus,  be  ashamed  of  yourself !  I  'm  older  'n  you :  old 
enough  to  be  Sheriff  here  when  your  daddy  was 
Senator.  And  your  dad,  young  gentleman,  he  told 
me  to  arrest  old  Commodore  Vanderbilt.  Yes,  sir 
—  the  Commodore  —  driving  his  hosses  too  fast  'long 
Main  Street,  endangerin'  lives  and  limbs  of  old 
women  and  children.  Your  dad,  he  sez :  "  St.  Elmo, 
no  matter  who  he  is,  any  big  man  that  breaks  laws 
is  little."  Little,  yes,  sir;  and  why?  "Because," 
says  your  dad,  the  Honnible  Maxwell  Agnus,  "  be 
cause,  Sheriff,  people  who  don't  know  no  better  is 
goin'  to  say :  '  If  the  biggest  man  in  the  country 
breaks  laws  then  them  laws  'es  no  good  '  —  and  so," 
sez  your  dad,  "  ignorant  people  start  breakin'  'em 
too  —  "  and,  sez  he,  "  the  law  's  like  a  brick  barn, 
Sheriff;  taking  one  brick  out  makes  the  walls  git 
weak  and,  pritty  soon,  the  whole  blamed  thing  starts 
tumbling  down." 

THE  DEVIL  (interested) 

And  did  the  Honorable  Maxwell  Agnus  get  elected 
to  the  Senate  again  after  telling  you  to  arrest  the 
biggest  man  in  the  country? 

PEATTIE 

Betcha  he  did!  People  was  different  then.  They 
was  Amurricans.  And  when  they  found  out  why  the 
Commodore  hated  your  dad ;  why  he  was  tryin'  to 
keep  him  outa  office  agin;  why,  they  just  swan  to 
goodness  that  was  the  sorta  fella  they  wanted  in 
Congress  —  what  would  take  up  for  the  weak  agin' 
the  strong.  He  was  Senator  pritty  nigh  fifteen 
years  after  — 


ACT  m]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  111 

THE  DEVIL  (smiling) 
And  then? 

PEATTIE  (reluctantly) 

Wa-al  then.  Then  that  there  Eye-talian  colony 
got  so  big  over  to  Cove  Neck,  and,  seeing  as  how 
their  votes  war  only  a  dollar  apiece  and  a  kiss  for 
the  babies,  why,  our  votes  war  n't  strong  enough  to 
beat  the  politicians. 

THE  DEVIL 

You  see,  money  has  a  long  memory,  Sheriff.     And 
it  always  wins  in  the  end. 
PEATTIE 

But  think  of  all  the  good  he  done  in  them  fifteen 

years. 

THE  DEVIL 

With  the  result  that  the  railroad  does  n't  run  within 
seven  miles  of  this  village  and  the  population  has 
fallen  to  two  thousand  inhabitants. 
PEATTIE  (sulkily) 

Wa-al  —  we  're  all  Amurricans,  anyway.  It  kept 
the  Eye-talians  and  the  Polacks  out.  You  —  can't  — 
buy  —  votes  —  here  —  and  he  (points  to  Schwartz- 
enhopfel,  meaning  Magnus)  can't  scare  anybody  like 
he  kin  New  Yorkers.  (He!  jerks  his  head  with  a 
sneer  at  the  Detectives)  Keeping  'em  from  arrest 
ing  the  man  they  're  sent  to  git  —  a  furriner  — 
not  Amurrican,  mind  —  a  cowardly  furriner  that 
blows  people  up.  Magnus,  nor  twenty  Magnuses 
could  n't  keep  me  from  doing  my  dooty  on  sich  a 
villin  —  could  n't  keep  any  real  Amurrican.  ( Turn 
ing  to  the  Detectives)  I  '11  bet  you  folks  ain't 
Amurricans  ? 


112  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  in 

LIEUTENANT  (who  all  along  has  spoken  with  an  Irish 
accent,  and  now,  when  violently  angry,  speaks  with  a 
pronounced  brogue)  Go  on,  ye  scut!  (He  makes 
threatening  motion  at  him) 

PEATTIE  (triumphantly) 

Amurrican!    Huhnh?     (To  second  Detective)     And 
you? 

SECOND  DETECTIVE  (excitedly) 

I  haf  my  naduraladion  pabers  got  us  goot  as  you 
or  any  udder  man  — 

PEATTIE  (more  triumphantly) 

Amurrican!     Hey?    (To  the  third  Detective)    And 
you? 

THIRD  DETECTIVE  (trying  to  speak  carefully) 
I  —  was  —  born  —  in  —  New  —  York  — 
[Peat tie  slaps  thigh  and  grins  unbelievingly. 

THIRD  DETECTIVE  (angrily) 

By  your  lave,  Lootenant,  I  '11  —     (Losing  his  temr 
per,  he  takes  a  step  forward) 

PEATTIE  (clapping  his  hands  in  glee) 

You  see?  Not  an  Amurrican  in  the  lot.  (To  The 
Devil)  And  so  it 's  with  such  cattle  —  and  with 
anarchists  —  for  just  as  your  dad  said  o~f  the  Com 
modore,  he  's  (points  to  Schwartzenhopfel,  meaning 
Magnus)  as  much  of  an  anarchist  as  him  (points 
to  Agnus,  meaning  Schwartzenhopfel)  —  it 's  with 
such  —  that  the  son  of  my  old  Senator  has  truck 
today.  Good  day  to  you,  sir,  and  (sorrowfully) 
may  you  learn  better  before  you  come  to  my  age. 
[He  goes  out. 

THE  DEVIL  (to  Judge  Critty,  indicating  Detectives) 
See  that  these  fellows  are  paid  something  to  keep 
their  mouths  shut  — 


ACT  in]     THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  113 

LIEUTENANT  (protesting) 

Now,  Doctor  —  you  know  — 

THE   DEVIL 

Pshaw !  No  nonsense,  my  man !  That  old  fellow  just 
gone  is  worth  the  lot  of  you.  With  such  men  in 
your  shoes,  we  'd  hear  no  more  talk  of  police  graft 
and  extortion. 

LIEUTENANT  (sarcastically,  pointing  to  Agnus) 
We  '11  take  this  fellow  if  it  '11  please  you  better  — 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (thoroughly  enjoying  himself) 
Keep  your  tongue  quiet,  policeman !  —  Here ! 
(Takes  out  a  handful  of  bills  and  gives  them  to 
Judge)  Give  'em  these.  (He  looks  for  approval 
toward  The  Devil,  who  nods)  Now  get  out:  the  lot 
of  you! 

LIEUTENANT  (hurt) 

That 's  no  kind  of  language  to  use  to  men  doing 
their  best  to  favor  you,  Mr.  Magnus.  And,  as  for 
the  money,  that 's  an  insult  — 

THE   DEVIL 

I  suppose  you  want  it  sent  mysteriously?  From  an 
unknown  benefactor  who  loves  your  fat  housewife 
and  your  ugly  babies.  Well  —  you  '11  —  take  —  it 
—  this  way —  (He  has  snatched  the  bills  from  the 
Judge  while  talking  and  separated  them  into  three 
parts;  now  he  forces  one  on  the  Lieutenant) 
[The  Lieutenant  pretends  to  push  them  away. 

THE  DEVIL  (finishing)  —  or  —  not  at  all  —     (He  looks 
at  Schwartzenhopfel  to  back  him  up) 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (importantly) 
Or  not  at  all  — 
[The    Lieutenant    hesitates,    but    takes    the   money 


114  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  m 

shamefacedly.  The  two  Detectives  repeat  his  actions 
and  manners. 

LIEUTENANT  (to  Schwartzerihopfel  diffidently,  after 
looking  at  the  women,  the  Judge  and  Agnus)  I  sup 
pose  (humbly)  there'll  be  no  come-back  to  this? 
It 's  value  received,  ain't  it,  sir? 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Yes.     Get  out. 

LIEUTENANT 

Yes,  sir.     (He  tips  his  hat  and  goes  out  on  tip-toe) 
SECOND  AND  THIRD  DETECTIVES  (in  the  same  manner) 

Yes,  sir.     (They  go  out) 
JUDGE  CRITTY  ( to  Schwartzenhopfel) 

Such  actions  cause  talk,  sir  — 

THE  DEVIL 

If  I  've  promoted  even  the  germ  of  Socialism  in  those 
robber-barons'  men-at-arms,  I  'm  satisfied  — 

JUDGE  CRITTY   (stiffly) 

I  was  not  addressing  you,  Doctor  Agnus  — 

THE   DEVIL 

Don't  try  that  fake  dignity  with  me,  you  hoary- 
headed  old  fraud,  because  you  have  n't  the  moral 
dignity  back  of  it  to-  hold  you  up.  Get  out,  you 
arrant  knave!  (Catches  Schwartzerihopfel's  eye) 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (dumfounded) 

Mr.  Magnus  —  will  you  allow  me  to  be  so  insulted 
by  this  cockerel?  He's  either  drunk  or  crazy. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (softly  motioning  The  Devil  to 
wait)  Did  n't  you  say  once,  Judge,  that  to  properly 
punish  anarchists  they  should  not  be  hanged  but 
burned  ? 


ACT  m]     THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  115 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (with  swelling  dignity,  thinking  that 
Magnus  is  recalling  the  incident  favorably)  I  cer 
tainly  did,  Mr.  Magnus. 

SCHWAETZENHOPFEL 

You  did  n't  say  anything  about  the  causes  that  make 
them  anarchists,  though  —  did  you?  (Catching  The 
Devil's  eye)  But  how  about  a  six-months'  strike 
prolonged  because  millionaires  would  n't  pay  fifty 
cents  more  a  day  to  men  who  work  with  hot  rivets 
two  hundred  feet  in  the  air  —  twenty-five  per  cent  of 
them  killed  every  year?  How  about  the  wives  of 
those  strikers  who  died  of  overwork  and  little  food 
trying  to  support  homes  and  husbands  until  em 
ployers  gave  in?  How  about  their  children  who  died 
unborn  —  eh  ?  Who  was  it  murdered  wives  and  chil 
dren?  And  who,  after  six  months,  still  refused  even 
to  compromise?  Was  it  any  wonder  that  men  went 
crazy?  Murder  for  murder  —  they  said  —  murder 
for  murder.  Schwartzenhopfel  had  such  a  wife,  such 
children,  all  dead  now,  and  he  shouted:  Dynamite, 
the  worker's  friend!  (Fiercely  to  the  Judge)  And 
so  it  is  n't  enough  to  hang  him?  You  've  got  to 
burn  him,  have  you?  Well,  what  about  the  men  who 
took  an  honest  workman  and  made  him  what  he  is 
today  ? 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (frantically) 
Mr.  Magnus  — 

[The  Devil  goes  to  the  garden  door,  opens  it  and 
points  the  way  out. 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (nervously,  suddenly  changing  his  atti 
tude)  Mr.  Magnus,  your  admission  delights  me  — 
for  the  first  time  in  my  relations  with  you,  I  —  I 
find  it  —  possible  —  to  —  to  —  be  —  to  be  —  per- 


116  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  m 

fectly  natural  with  you.     You  cannot  blame  me  for 
being  a  hypocrite.     If  you  will  pardon  me,  sir:   who 
made  me  a  hypocrite?  — 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (disgruntled) 

I  did  n't  tell  you  to  burn  anarchists,  did  I? 

JUDGE  CRITTY 

Pardon  me,  sir  —  theoretically,  no;  but  practically, 
yes,  you  did.  If  my  bench  orations  had  n't  been  pas 
sionately  opposed  to  everything  that  even  threatened 
the  divine  right  of  capital,  why,  you  would  n't  be 
considering  me  for  the  Supreme  Bench  now.  How 
can  a  lawyer  succeed  nowadays  except  through 
capital? 

THE  DEVIL  (closes  door  and  stands  with  his  back  to  it) 
True  enough,  Magnus;  true  enough — (Looks  at 
the  light,  which  has  hung  gravely  suspended  through 
these  operations) 

THE  DEVIL 

The  greedy  millionaire  criminal  makes  all  the  little 
criminals.  He  needs  men  like  this  hypocrite  here 
(pointing  to  the  Judge)  —  needs  them  to  save  cor 
porations  from  fines,  their  officers  from  jail  —  with 
that  damnable  word  "unconstitutional";  just  as 
he  needs  Senators  to  make  trust  laws  easy  to  break; 
Governors  to  sign  exemptions  and  pardons ;  alder 
men  to  steal  city  franchises ;  bosses  to  elect  those 
aldermen  to  order;  murdering  gangsters  to  kill 
honest  voting;  and  police  who  will  permit  the  gang 
sters  to  steal,  pimp  and  kill,  and  who  share  in  their 
spoils.  (Still  addressing  the  light)  And  every 
crime  of  the  lot  —  yes  —  don't  shrink  from  your 
guilt  —  even  the  stealing,  the  pimping,  and  the  kill 
ing —  is  the  fault  of  the  greedy  millionaire.  (Point- 


ACT  m]     THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  117 

ing  to  the  Judge)  Even  that  might  have  been  a 
man  — 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (anxiously) 
But,  Mr.  Magnus  — 

THE   DEVIL 

No   hypocrite   may   be   trusted   upon   the    Supreme 
Bench,  Judge. 
\_Schwartzenhopfel  nods. 

JUDGE  CRITTY  (wildly) 

You  use  me  —  cast  me  aside  — 

THE  DEVIL 

Just  what  a  prostitute  would  say  when  the  man  to 
whose  worst  passions  she  has  pandered  seeks  to  be 
clean  again  and  casts  her  off.  (He  opens  the  door 
again  and  points)  Get  out!  (He  fixes  the  unhappy 
Judge  with  his  eyes.  Unable  to  resist,  the  Judge 
follows  the  slowly  pointing  finger  and  goes  out) 

DOLL  BLONDIN  (whose  admiration  for  The  Devil  has 
grown  quickly,  as  evidenced  by  the  expression  on  her 
face  as  she  has  sat  listening  almost  with  awe)  You 
are  some  man  —  believe  me ! 

FANNY  ( turns  quickly  on  her  at  this  danger-note  in  her 
voice,  and  speaks  with  an  effort  at  politeness)  You 
said  you  would  not  like  a  certain  party  to  hear  a 
certain  story  — 

[The  Devil,  being  recalled  to  this  situation,  looks 
hopelessly  around. 

DOLL  BLONDIN 

Let  the  certain  party  go  — 

FANNY  (glares  at  her) 
What? 


118  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  in 

DOLL  BLONDIN  (glares  back) 

I  would  n't  stay  where  I  was  n't  wanted  if  I  were 
some  people  — 

FANNY 

And  I  suppose  you  think  you  are  wanted? 
[Doll  Blondin  smiles  aggravatingly. 
FANNY 

What? 

DOLL  BLONDIN 

I  've  been  asked  to  stay  anyhow.  That 's  more  'n 
some  people  have  — 

FANNY 

Addington!    You  '11  let  this  woman  insult  me? 

THE   DEVIL 

Certainly,  my  dear. 

DOLL  BLONDIN 

You  see  —  (She  spreads  hands  and  her  manner  be 
comes  still  more  aggravating) 

FANNY 

I  '11  go  and  get  mother.  Even  she  will  see  who  's  in 
the  wrong  now.  When  I  'm  prepared  to  give  up 
everything  for  you  — 

THE  DEVIL 

But  you  are  n't  — 
FANNY  (wildly) 

I  am.  You  need  n't  even  have  a  flat  in  town.  I  '11 
stay  here.  Why,  I  '11  even  live  on  your  income. 

THE  DEVIL 

You  only  say  that  until  you  get  me  safely  married. 
FANNY  (beside  herself) 

I  swear  it.  Addington  —  I  did  n't  realize  how  much 
I  loved  you  until  I  saw  you  save  your  friend  (points 


ACT  m]     THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  119 

to  Agnus)  ;   heard  you  defy  those  policemen,  and  — 
then  —  the  way  you  talked  to  that  nasty  old  Judge. 
Oh !   I  want  you  —  I  love  you  — 
THE  DEVIL  (stepping  back  to  avoid  an  embrace) 
Well,  you  can't  have  me! 

DOLL  BLONDIN 

You  see  —     (Spreads  her  hands  as  before) 

FANNY 

You  give  me  up  —  for  this  woman  ? 

THE  DEVIL  (desperately) 
Yes! 

FANNY  (suddenly  realizing  she  is  combating  Fate) 
Oh,  Addington,  Addingtcn,  Addington  —  I  love  you 
—  I  love  you  —     (She  bursts  into  real  tears;    there 
is  no  tragedy  in  her  attitude  now,  no  affectation,  no 
theatricalism  —  just  real  sorrow  and  regret) 

AGNUS  (wildly  to  The  Devil)     You  must  explain!    You 
must !    You  must ! 

THE  DEVIL  (whispering) 

Who  'd  believe  us  ?  We  'd  all  be  clapped  into  a 
lunatic  asylum.  Is  one  woman  to  stand  in  the  way 
of  science  —  a  big  step  in  world-regeneration? 
Think,  man !  One  woman  against  a  million  better 
men?  For  the  sake  of  humanity  —  think! 
[Agnus  turns  away.  It  is  his  tragic  moment;  his 
face  should  be  that  of  a  combined  Hamlet  and  King 
Lear  —  for,  while  to  others  Fanny  is  comedic,  to 
him  she  represents  earthly  happiness.  Fanny  conr 
tinues  her  sobbing  like  an  animal  in  pain.  Doll  Blon- 
din  looks  troubled,  but  stands  her  ground. 

THE  DEVIL  (awkwardly) 
See  here,  Fanny  — 


120  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS      [ACT  m 

FANNY  (trying  to  stem  Tier  tears) 
Yes,  dear  — 

THE   DEVIL 

It  is  n't  any  woman  —  it 's  my  work.     It  needs  me 
—  all  of  me  — 

DOLL  BLONDIN 

Then  you  don't  love  me? 
THE  DEVIL  (impatiently) 

Of  course  not.       I  only  just  saw  you  —  did  n't  I? 

FANNY 

You  don't  love  her?     Your  work?     You  're  giving 
me  up  for  — 

THE   DEVIL 

The  good  of  humanity,  Fanny  — 
FANNY  (forgetting  tears) 

Ah,  I  knew  you  were  too  noble,  Addington,  too  big 
to  jilt  me  for  another  woman.     "For  the  good  of 
humanity !  "      That 's    different.      We  '11    work    to 
gether,  dear.     I  '11  help,  not  hinder. 
[The  Devil  groans. 

FANNY 

You  've  brought  out  my  true  nature.     I  'm  changed. 
I  see  now  how  hateful  I  was. 

THE  DEVIL 

Fanny  — 

FANNY 

Yes,  dear  — 

THE  DEVIL 

No! 

[Doll  Blondin  catches  his  eye  above  Fanny9 s  head 
and  winks  hopefully. 
THE  DEVIL  (to  Doll,  in  the  same  tone) 
No! 


ACT  m]     THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  121 

[Mrs.   Felix   and   Tromper   enter,    bundled  tip   for 

motoring.    They  are  followed  by  Magnus's  chauffeur 

and  his  valet  carrying  motoring  coats. 
VALET 

Miss  Felix,  miss !     (He  holds  up  her  coat) 

[Fanny  inserts  her  arms  mechanically  in  sleeves. 
TROMPER  (grumpily,  showing  his  watch  to  Schwartzen- 

hopfel)     I  took  the  liberty  of  getting  ready  to  go 

back,  Mr.  Magnus.     I  thought  you  'd  forgotten  the 

time. 
VALET 

You    have    an    appointment    for    dinner    with    Mr. 

Gayton,  sir. 

[Schwartzenhopfel  looks  blank. 

VALET 

You  know,  sir  —  the  Secretary  of  the  Treasury  — 

[The  Devil  nudges  Schwartzenhopfel. 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (arrogantly) 

The  Secretary  must  wait ;    that 's  all !     I  'm  staying 

here  tonight. 
THE  DEVIL  (sotto  voce  to  Agnus,  indicating  Tromper) 

Who's  he? 

[Agnus  whispers   the  information  in  a  thoroughly 

miserable  manner. 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  ( t o  the  chauffeur) 

You  take  these  ladies  back  to  New  York.     (To  the 

valet)     You  go  with  him  and  bring  me  some  clothes 

back. 

THE  DEVIL 

Enough  for  a  week  or  so. 

\The  light  shows  that  it  is  struck  motionless  by  this 

last  statement. 


122  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  m 

And  now,  Mrs.  Felix,  good-bye!     Come  and  see  me 
some  time.     I  '11  find  a  husband  for  you  yet. 
[The  light  flirts  across  his  eyes. 

THE  DEVIL  (looks  at  it  meditatively) 

I  don't  know  but  what  you  're  right,  Magnus.  After 
I  start  training  you  —  she  might  be  able  to  complete 
the  training  — 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL    (viewing    Mrs.    Felix    with    ap 
proval)     Suits  me! 

[The  light  darts  as  viciously  at  Schwartzenhopfel  as 
the  latter  once  did  when  he  was  in  Magnus's  condition. 

THE  DEVIL  (to  the  light) 
I  meant  you  —  Magnus  — 
[The  light  hovers,  sullenly  suspicious. 

THE  DEVIL  (to  all) 

And  —  now  —  good  day  to  all  of  you.  Schwartzen 
hopfel  and  I  are  about  to  do  some  important  work 
together.  (Puts  his  arm  on  Agnus' 's  shoulder)  So 
we  must  ask  you  to  excuse  us. 

DOLL  BLONDIN 

And  what  about  me? 

THE  DEVIL 

Are  n't  the  rooms  good? 
[Doll  Blondin  nods. 

THE  DEVIL 

And  the  food? 

[Doll  Blondin  nods  again. 

THE   DEVIL 

And  the  service? 

DOLL  BLONDIN 

Yes  —  but  — 


ACT  m]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  123 

THE  DEVIL 

Then  what  about  you  ?  And  as  for  amusement :  why, 
there  's  Magnus.  (He  points  to  Schwartzenhopfel. 
Then  he  goes,  almost  draggmg  Agnus  with  him) 
[Agnus's  head  is  turned,  with  lack-lustre  eyes, 
toward  Fanny.  They  pass  out  through  the  folding- 
doors,  closing  these  behind  them. 

TROMPER  (whose  indignation  has  been  mounting,  now 
vents  himself  explosively)  Well,  damn  his  nerve!  I 
beg  your  pardon,  ladies.  Mr.  Magnus,  you  let  a 
whippersnapper  doctor  talk  that  way  to  you?  You! 
Why,  sir,  I  would  n't  —  I  actually  would  n't  permit 
you  to  talk  that  way  to  me ! 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL    (viciously) 

You  would  n't? 
TROMPER  (nervously) 

With  all  respect:   no,  sir. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Then  you  're  discharged. 
TROMPER  (thunderstruck) 

Have  you  gone  crazy,  Mr.  Magnus?     Discharged? 

After  twenty-five  years'  service?     After  saving  you 

hundreds  of  thousands  of  dollars? 
MRS.  FELIX  (putting  her  hand  on  his  shoulder) 

John,  that 's  petty !     That 's  small,  John.     I  never 

knew  you  to  be  petty  or  small  before. 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (to  Mrs.  Felix) 

Wait!     (To  Tromper)     Saving?     How? 
TROMPER  (stuttering) 

Why,  the  Churchstead  strike  alone  — 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (militantly) 

Strike!     Ha!     Goon!     What  did  you  do? 


124  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS      [ACT  m 

TROMPER  (miserably) 

You  know  well  enough  what  I  did,  sir — 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Tell  me  anyhow  — 

TROMPER 

I  locked  'em  out,  the  bums ! 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL, 

What  did  they  want?    Just  union  rates,  union  hours ; 

white    men's    pay,    white    men's    hours ;    not   nigger 

slaves  — ? 
MRS.  FELIX  (admiringly) 

Bravo,  John !    You  're  shaping  up ! 

[The  light  moves  closer,  as  if  listening  intently. 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (nodding) 

I  told  you  to  wait!     (To  Tromper)     You  beat  them, 

didn't  you? 

TROMPER 

And  a  tough  j  ob !    Strike-breakers  were  n't  enough  — 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  ( t o  Mrs.  Felix) 

New  York  thugs,  gunmen  —  with  brass  knuckles, 
hand  spikes,  and  automatics  —  licensed  to  bruise, 
maim  and  kill  — 

TROMPER 

Were  n't  the  strikers  breaking  windows  and  burning 
fences?  Didn't  they  threaten  to  burn  the  works? 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Fighting  for  their  children  and  their  homes,  they 
were  —  for  the  right  to  have  more  than  cattle  or 
pigs  —  more  than  a  place  to  sleep  —  and  enough 
food  to  keep  them  working.  Food!  Ha!  Like 
gasoline  put  into  a  motor-car  — 


ACT  m]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  125 

TROMPER 

I  was  fighting  to  save  you  money  — 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Against  the  men  you  used  to  work  with,  side  by  side, 
your  own  blood-brothers  — 

TROMPER 

No  brothers  of  mine,  those  sweating,  smelly  igno 
rant  dogs !  I  might  have  been  born  one.  That 
was  n't  my  fault.  But  I  did  n't  stay  one. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

No,  and  I  "11  bet  I  know  why.     Because  you  spied  on 

them,    carried    tales,    for    little    foreman    jobs,    and 

sweated  more  work  out  of  them. 
TROMPER  (bitterly) 

Always  saving  you  money  — 
MRS.  FELIX  (to  Schwartzenhopfel) 

You  see,  John:  all  crime,  bloodshed,  murder  finally 

comes  back  to  yourself.    He  said  it :  "  Always  saving 

you  money." 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

I  'm  going  to  change  all  that.  Consequently  I  don't 
need  his  sort  any  more. 

MRS.  FELIX  {delightedly) 

You  are?  {Suspiciously)  But  so  suddenly  — 
what 's  changed  you? 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (points  toward  the  laboratory) 
The — (corrects  himself)  D  —  Doctor.  (Enthusi 
astically)  The  trouble  about  us  human  beings  is  that 
we  don't  know  nothing  about  nothing  — 

MRS.  FELIX 

Can't  you  be  moral  and  retain  your  grammar? 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (disregarding  her,  enthusiasti 
cally)  Then  he  comes  along  (pointing  toward  labora- 


126  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  m 

tory)  and  shows  us  that  millionaires  on  one  hand  — 
anarchists  on  the  other  —  are  one  part  right,  ninety- 
nine  parts  wrong  — 

FANNY  (bursts  into  wild  tears  again) 
And  I  've  lost  him !  I  've  lost  him ! 
[Mrs.  Felix  comforts  her. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL    ( to    TrOTTlper) 

How  much  have  you  saved?  Not  for  me  —  for 
yourself? 

TROMPER  (haughtily) 
I  don't  save ;  I  invest. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Worth  half  a  million,  are  n't  you?    Not  above  graft 
ing  some  of  that  sweat-and-blood  money  you  saved 
for  me,  are  you? 
TROMPER 

I  defy  you  to  prove  it.  I  defy  anybody.  I  've  been 
strictly  honest. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

No  matter,  Tromper,  no  matter  —  you  're  fired !     I 
never  want  to  see  your  face  again. 
TROMPER 

You  '11  regret  this  the  longest  day  you  live,  you  — 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Be  careful.  I  still  own  the  judges  and  the  politi 
cians.  Don't  try  to  stand  in  my  way,  or  I'll  job 
you  into  jail.  Get  out! 

TROMPER  (suddenly  whining) 

How  am  I  to  get  back  to  New  York? 

MRS.  FELIX  (touching  SchwartzenhopfeVs  shoulder) 
Don't  be  little,  John  — 


ACT  m]     THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  127 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (repressing  himself) 

The  automobile  will  take  you  back.     Wait  for  it  at 

the  Inn. 
TROMPER  (thinking  he  is  relenting) 

One  word,  sir  — 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Not  one.     (Points  to  the  door) 

[T  romper  goes  out  abjectedly. 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL,  (turning  suddenly  to  valet) 

What  do  I  pay  you? 
VALET  {alarmed  on  behalf  of  his  own  position) 

Only  a  hundred  a  month,  sir. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

And  what  you  can  steal,  eh? 
VALET  (earnestly) 

Mr.  Magnus,  sir.  t 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Percentages    from    haberdashers    and    shirt-makers, 
tailors,  bootmakers,  jewellers.     Double  bills:  one  for 
me,  one  for  you  —  you  pocket  the  difference  ? 
VALET  (astounded  at  his  accuracy) 
Mr.  Magnus,  I  swear  — 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Don't  perjure  yourself.  Take  one  hundred  and 
fifty  dollars  a  month  —  I  'm  buying  back  your  self- 
respect  with  the  extra  fifty  and  giving  it  to  you.  But 
if  you  cheat  again  —  remember,  if  you  cheat  again 
—  jail! 

VALET  (with  tears  in  his  eyes  and  choking  voice) 
Sir  — 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Wait  in  there.  (Points  to  the  door,  and  the  valet 
goes  out;  then  to  chauffeur)  And  I  give  you? 


128  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  m 

CHAUFFEUR  (trembling) 

One  hundred  and  twenty-five  dollars  a  month,  sir. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

And  the  gasoline  you  take  out  every  night  and  put 
back  in  the  morning?  The  extra  shoes  that  don't 
wear  out?  The  valve-cleaning  and  new  parts  that 
only  figure  in  the  bill?  Other  things  —  how  much 
do  they  come  to? 

CHAUFFEUR 

Mr.  Magnus  — 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Don't  lie.     Please  —  how  much? 
CHAUFFEUR  (whining) 

I  don't  know,  sir.     Please  — 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Take  one  seventy-five  and  be  a  decent  man  —  a 
skilled  mechanic  who  respects  himself  and  his  craft 
too  much  to  be  a  thief.  Will  that  do  ? 


CHAUFFEUR 

If  they  all  treated  us  like  that,  nobuddy  'ud  steal 
except  dirty  scoundrels,  sir.  (Goes  out) 

MRS.   FELIX 

You  see:  the  generals  make  the  morals  of  their  sol 
diers.  Let  generals  loot  a  church-treasure,  and  the 
privates  will  loot  a  hen-roost.  Magnus  steals  a  Sub 
way.  Therefore,  his  manager  steals  his  profits,  his 
valet  steals  his  stickpins,  his  chauffeur  his  gasoline. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Reform  always  begins  at  the  top,  7  know.  The 
trouble  with  us  —  (corrects  himself)  with  Socialists 
and  anarchists  —  they  try  to  begin  reforms  among 
the  ignorant.  It  will  take  me  many  years  to  break 
even  with  my  criminal  misunderstanding. 


ACT  in]     THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  129 

MRS.  FELIX  (suddenly  touched) 

I  '11  help  you.     (In  a  whisper)     I  love  you,  John  — 
[ The  light  jumps. 

MRS.  FELIX  (with  her  hand  on  his  shoulder) 

I  've  always  wanted  to  say  "  Yes  "  —  always  hoped 
for  the  day  when  your  great  brain  would  resent 
the  petty  use  you  were  making  of  it  — 
[Fanny  does  not  hear  this.  For  some  time  she  has 
been  sitting  all  humped  up,  staring  blankly  into 
space.  Doll  Blondin  sits  in  same  position?  showing 
the  same  attitude,  and  the  same  lack  of  expression. 
The  two  of  them  look  more  like  decorative  statues 
than  human  beings,  one  on  either  side  of  the  room. 
The  light  flies  about  distractedly.  Mrs.  Felix  slowly 
drawing  the  startled  Schwartzenhopfel  around  until 
he  faces  her  and  stares  into  her  eyes. 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (stutters) 

When  I  'm  —  wor  —  worthy,  I  —  I  '11  ask  you  to 
say  "  Yes  "  again  —  I  don't  de  —  deserve  you  yet  — 
[Doll  Blondm  turns  wearily  around  to  watch  them. 
Fanny  does  the  same.  The  light  pauses,  satisfied. 

MRS.  FELIX 

John  Magnus  —  you  're  a  great  man  at  last  — 
(Smiling  shyly,  she  practically  offers  her  cheek  to  be 
kissed)  Remember  my  worthless  years,  too,  and  con 
sider  you  're  worthy  now  — 

[The  light  begins  again  to  fly  about  distractedly. 
Schwartzenhopfel  looks  at  it  apologetically  before 
he  bends  over  to  kiss  her.  The  light  deliberately 
flashes  between  them.  Both  of  them  stand  back 
dazzled. 


130  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  m 

MRS.  FELIX  (blinking) 

What  a  powerful  reflection!     (Smiling  and  holding 
out  her  hand  to  Schwartzenhopfel,  she  bends  toward 
him  again) 
[The  light  again  -flashes  between  them. 

MRS.  FELIX  (as  they  stagger  back  again) 

What  is  it,  John?     I  see  no  mirrors  or  lenses  — 

DOLL  BLONDIN  (who  has  been  watching  the  light  in  an 
awed  way  ever  since  she  turned)  It  does  n't  come 
from  mirrors  or  lenses.  (In  an  awed  tone)  There  's 
something  queer  about  that  light  —  almost  as  if  it 
were  human  — 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL 

Non  —  nonsense ! 

MRS.  FELIX  (noting  his  look) 

John  Magnus!     You  —  frightened? 

DOLL  BLONDIN  (pointing  to  the  light) 

Look  at  it  now,  as  though  it  was  listening ! 

FANNY  (with  a  little  cry) 

Mother !    mother !     Forgive  me  — 

MRS.  FELIX  (patting  her  hair) 
Forgive  you  —  why,  my  dear  ? 

FANNY  (shivering)  • 

I  don't  know  —  but  I  'm  afraid.  —  There  's  some 
thing  wrong  in  this  house  — 

[The  light  twitches  as  if  trying  to  sneak  out  of  the 
room. 

FANNY  (with  a  little  scream) 
Look  at  it  —  now ! 

\The  light  stands  still.  The  three  women  huddle  to 
gether  with  that  -feminine  instinct  that  prefers  to  die 
with  its  worst  enemy  rather  than  alone. 


ACT  m]     THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  131 

DOLL  BLONDIN 

Whenever  he  made  a  move  to  even  touch  you,  it  flew 
at  him  — 

FANNY  (shrieking) 
It  moved  again ! 

[Mrs.  Felix  clutches  Schwartzenhopfel.  Fanny  gives 
another  short  scream.  At  that  moment  the  folding- 
doors  fly  open  and  Agnus  r centers  quickly,  disclos 
ing  The  Devil  inside. 

THE  DEVIL  {with  his  eye  to  microscope,  examining  slide) 
As  well  as  I  could  do  myself !    Bravo  !    Bravissima ! 

AGNUS  (agitated) 

Can  I  do  anything?  (Sees  the  tableau  of  the  three 
frightened  women,  clinging  to  Schwartzenhopfel;  his 
eyes  follow  theirs,  and  he  sees  that  they  are  watching 
the  light;  then  he  falls  back,  holding  his  head) 

DOLL  BLONDIN  (seeing  Agnus9 s  look) 
See !    He  's  frightened,  too. 

THE  DEVIL  (puts  up  the  microscope  and  comes  out) 
What 's  wrong? 

FANNY  (running  to  him) 
Addington,  Addington! 

DEVIL  (wearily) 
Not  gone  yet? 

FANNY  (pointing  to  the  light,  which  twitches  sullenly) 
Addington,  I'm  frightened.     What  is  it? 

THE  DEVIL  (shaken,  but  retaining  his  mastery) 

Oh  —  that?  (He  tries  to  move  over  to  the  table  and 
shake  Fanny  off) 

FANNY 

Oh,  Addington,  don't  leave  me !  I  'm  frightened,  I 
tell  you,  frightened ! 


132  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS      [ACT  in 

THE   DEVIL 

I  thought  you  wanted  to  know  what  that  was? 

MRS.   FELIX 

What  is  it? 


(simultaneously) 


DOLL  BLOXDIN 

Yes,  what? 

FANNY 

We  do  — 

THE  DEVIL  (to  Fanny  in  an  irritated  tone) 

Well,  how  can  I  explain  while  you  hang  on  to  me  ?  — 

FANNY 

Just  let  me  hold  one  hand  —  just  your  little  finger 
—  that  '11  make  me  brave  — 

[The  Devil  crosses  to  the  table,  scowling.  Fanny  tags 
after  him,  holding  an  to  one  of  his  fingers.  The  De~cil 
looks  sternly  at  the  light.  Then  he  turns  to  the 
women  and  touches  the  szcitch-key  of  the  lighted 
electric  cigar-lighter. 

THE  DEVTL 

When  I  turn  this  off,  it  will  disappear!     (He  waits 

for  Magnus  to  understand.     Then,  showily,  he  snaps 

off  the  electric-lighter,  bending  doicn  as  if  it  required 

some  effort)     You  see? 

[The  light  does  not  budge. 
DOLL  BLONDIN   (since  Fan»y  is  looking  admiringly  at 

The  Devil  and  Mrs.  Felix  is  hiding  her  head  on 

ScJiicartzenhopfeVs  shoulder) 

But  it  did  n't  work  !  — 
THE  DEVIL  (looking  up  and  seeing  it,  nonplussed  and 

desperate) 

No? 

DOLL  BLONDIN 

Xo.    There  it  is.    See? 


ACT  m]     THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  133 

THE  DEVIL  (boldly) 

Nonsense.     (He  fixes  her  with  his  eyes)     It  's  gone: 

d'  you  hear?     It 's  gone! 
DOLL  BLONDIN  (fascinatedly  watching  him) 

It 's  gone? 

MRS.  FELIX 

But  /  see  it ! 
THE  DEVIL  (fixing  her  with  his  eyes) 

Nonsense.     It 's  gone,  d'  you  hear  ?     Gone ! 
MRS.  FELIX  (with  the  same  expression  as  Doll) 

Gone  ? 

[Fa nn y  looks  up. 
THE  DEVIL  (catching  her  eye  before  she  can  look  at  the 

light)     You  see,  it's  gone,  don't  you?     Gone? 
FANNY  (in  the  same  manner  as  others) 

Gone? 

THE  DEVIL 

And  now,  why  have  n't  you  —  gone  ? 

FANNY 

And  leave  her  in  the  house?     (Nodding  toward  Doll) 

THE  DEVIL 

Is  it  your  house? 
FANNY  (boldly) 

Yes,  it  is ! 
THE  DEVIL  (taken  aback) 

What? 

FANNY 

Our  house!  (Sweetly)  And,  Addington,  dear:  it 
could  be  mine  if  I  sued  you  for  breach  of  promise! 
You  know  I  'd  win  —  your  letters  are  so  dear !  And 
the  engagement  announcement  that  was  in  all  the 
papers  —  and  our  pictures  together  in  that  Sunday 
Supplement  —  I  can't  imagine  where  they  get  those 


134  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  m 

pictures,  can   you?     Framed   heart-shape  with  the 
dearest  little   Cupids   shooting  arrows  at  us  —  you 
know,  how  you  loved  it  — 
THE  DEVIL  (revolted) 
I  loved  it ! 

FANNY  (continuing) 

And  your  money  's  in  trust,  dear.  You  can't  touch 
the  principal.  So  you  'd  have  to  sell  this  house  to 
pay  my  damages.  And  you  know  I  would  n't  let 
you  sell  it,  not  to  strangers  —  I'd  just  come  and 
live  in  it,  going  about  every  day  and  kissing  things 
I  knew  your  dear  hands  had  touched,  and  sitting  in 
your  favorite  places,  waiting  for  the  day  you  'd 
come  back  and  we  'd  sit  there  together ! 
[The  Devil  grits  his  teeth. 

FANNY  (almost  cloymgly  sweet) 

Oh,  you  could  come  here  every  day  and  work  in 
your  laboratory.  I  'd  let  you  —  you  'd  be  quite 
welcome  — 

DOLL  BLONDIN  (her  sense  of  humor  triumphing) 

You  're  some  sticker,  sister  —  I  gotta  hand  it  to  you. 
Talk  about  glue ! 

THE  DEVIL  (desperately) 

You  would  n't  do  that  —  your  womanly  instinct  — 
your  sense  of  shame  —  your  position  in  society  — 

DOLL  BLONDIN 

No  use  grasping  at  straws  like  that,  Doctor.  You  're 
gone! 

MRS.  FELIX  (in  wonderment) 

I  never  imagined  she  had  it  in  her.  (Mildly) 
There  's  no  doubt  she  loves  you,  Addington.  No 
girl  would  endure  the  insults  you  've  heaped  on  her 


ACT  m]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  135 

today — (hastily)   not     that     she     didn't     deserve 
them  — 
FANNY  (naively) 

I  did  —  I  was  a  selfish  beast  — 

MRS.   FELIX 

She  wouldn't  have  admitted  she  was  a  beast  just 
now  —  unless  she  loved  you  —  madly  — 
THE  DEVIL  (bitterly) 

She  knows  I  've  got  a  check  for  two  million  in  my 
pocket  — 

FANNY 

Oh,  I  know  I  deserve  that,  too.     But  I  wish  you 
did  n't  have  the  old  check  just  to  prove  to  you  — 

THE  DEVIL 

You  do? 
FANNY  (hastily) 

No.    I  don't  mean  that.    Forgive  me  for  being  selfish. 

The  check  means  triumph  for  your  work  — 
THE  DEVIL  (grinning  maliciously) 

Means  houses  in  New  York,  and  motors,  and  private 

railroad  cars,  and  boxes  at  the  opera,  too,  does  n't 

it? 
FANNY  (earnestly) 

Addington,  I  'd  be  content  to  live  on  the  top  of  a 

mountain  if  I  had  you,  dear. 

THE  DEVIL 

That 's  all  right  as  a  popular  song,  darling  f     (He 
grits  his  teeth  again) 
AGNUS  (in  agony) 

She  means  it,  can't  you  see?     She's  changed.     The 
fear  of  losing  the  man  she  loves  has  made  her  forget 


136  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS      [ACT  m 

all   the   little   things  —  realizing  that   the   only   big 
thing  is  —  love !  — 
FANNY 

Oh,   Mr.    Schwartzenhopfel,   you  have   loved!      You 
understand.     Make  him  understand  — 

THE  DEVIL,    (to  Agnus) 

You  sentimental  idiot!     You  think  she  means  it,  do 

you? 
AGNUS  (boldly) 

I  know  it! 
DOLL  BLONDIN  (her  self  touched) 

Honest,  Doctor,  I  believe  she  does. 

[Fanny  looks  gratefully  at  them. 
THE  DEVIL  (desperately) 

You   see   this?     (He   thrusts   the   check   under   her 

nose)     What  is  it? 

FANNY 

The  two-million-dollar  check. 

THE  DEVIL 

All  right.     (He  puts  it  in  her  hand)     Tear  it  up! 
FANNY  (paling) 

But  —  Addington  —  your  work  — 
THE  DEVIL  (with  a  sneer  to  Agnus) 

You  see?     (To  Doll)     See? 
FANNY  (joyously) 

I  see,  too !    It 's  wrong,  but  it  makes  me  the  happiest 

girl  in  the  world. 
THE  DEVIL  (exasperated) 

What  does? 

FANNY 

It 's  wicked   for  me  to   feel  that  way  —  I  know  I 
should  n't.  —    Forgive  me. 


ACT  m]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  137 

THE  DEVIL  (shouting) 

What  damned  mare's-nest  have  you  foisted  on  me 

this  time?     What 's  the  latest  crazy  eroticism  you  're 

going  to  pretend  to  see  in  me? 
FANNY 

Don't  swear,  dear.     You  're  above  it.     But  as  for 

the  check:    I  understand  and  I  love  you  the  more 

for  it. 
THE  DEVIL  (shouting  louder) 

Love  me  the  more?    By  Saturn!  this   is  too  much  — 

this  passes  all  endurance  — 

FANNY 

You  're  angry  because  I  've  discovered  your  secret. 
Because  you  know  now  that  I  know  that  no  matter 
how  much  you  try  to  make  your  work  come  first,  you 
can't. 

THE  DEVIL  (swearing  wildly) 

Oh,  Jupiter !  Oh,  the  Pleiades !  Oh,  the  Milky  Way, 
the  Crab,  and  the  Gemini !  —  Where  under  the 
light  of  the  sun  or  in  the  bowels  of  the  earth  —  in 
what  corner  of  a  lunatic  asylum  did  you  find  that 
colossal,  preposterous  and  utterly  insane  hallucina 
tion  of  a  disordered  brain? 

FANNY 

In  your  heart,  dear  —  in  your  heart.  This  morn 
ing  I  made  you  give  up  work  that  was  dearer  to  you 
than  life.  You  promised.  Your  better  nature  made 
you  break  that  promise.  Then  I  came  again,  tempt 
ing  you;  threatening  to  leave  you  forever.  Your 
heart  betrayed  you  again.  And  —  when  I  was  gone 
—  you  loathed  yourself  for  your  weakness. 

THE  DEVIL  (reduced  to  the  frigid  politeness  of  a  man 
who  realizes  he  will  be  stricken  with  apoplexy  if  he 


138  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS      [ACT  m 

allows  his  feelings  to  get  the  better  of  him  again)  I  — 
I  see  —  and  now  I  should  like  to  know  —  what  was 
the  President  of  China  thinking  while  in  his  bath  this 
morning?  — 

FANNY  (placidly ',  seeing  in  his  loss  of  control  her  own 
dominance  of  the  situation)  Don't  sneer,  darling. 
You  loathed  yourself  for  giving  in  to  me  a  second 
time.  "  Even  though  my  heart  is  broken,  I  will  cast 
her  out  of  it,"  you  said  sternly. 

THE  DEVIL 

Just  like  the  kind  of  novels  you  read,  was  n't  it? 

FANNY 

You  had  been  so  modest,  dear,  that  I  did  n't  realize 
you  were  a  great  man.  That  was  your  fault.  "  She 
does  n't  love  me,"  you  said,  "  or  she  'd  want  me  to 
go  on  winning  Nobel  prizes  and  being  a  great  man. 
All  she  loves  is  the  money  I  can  make."  (Triumph 
antly)  Am  I  right?  Is  n't  that  what  you  thought? 
THE  DEVIL  (wildly) 

You  're  never  right !     And  I  never  think. 

AGNUS 

You  are  right  —  you  are ! 
THE  DEVIL  (looking  morosely  at  him) 

I  '11  settle  with  you  later  — 

[Agnus,  terrified,  remains  silent. 
FANNY 

Don't  be  ashamed  to  concede  a  woman's  wit,  dear. 

It 's  all  your  teaching.     Today  you  taught  me  to 

use  my  brain.     "  All  she  loves  is  the  money  I  can 

make,"  you  said  — 

THE  DEVIL 

You  said  I  said  that  once  — 


ACT  m]     THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  139 

FANNY  (unheeding) 

And  you  still  believe  it?    Don't  you? 

THE  DEVIL 

Yes. 

FANNY 

I  know  you  do.  That 's  why  you  gave  me  the  check. 
Sooner  than  marry  me  —  thinking  that  I  was  play 
ing  a  part  until  I  could  get  control  of  the  two  mil 
lion  dollars  —  sooner  than  be  married  for  your 
money  you  said :  "  Tear  it  up."  And  that  shows 
you  love  me  more  than  your  work,  more  than  your 
future  fame,  more  than  the  gratitude  of  the  world  — 
more  than  humanity  —  more  than  everything.  And 
it  makes  me  love  you  more  than  ever.  (She  takes  his 
hand) 

THE  DEVIL  (almost  in  a  shrill  scream) 
Love  me  more  than  ever? 

FANNY  (hurt) 

You  don't  believe  in  me,  yet? 

THE  DEVIL  (as  before) 
No!    No!    No! 

FANNY 

Then  —  I  'm  sorry  for  you.  Sorry  for  your  work, 
your  fame,  your  future.  But  if  I  can't  make  you 
believe  in  me  any  other  way,  why  —  then  —  here 
goes.  (She  twists  up  the  check,  strikes  a  match  and 
lights  it;  following  an  old  childish  game,  she  says) 
He  loves  me,  he  loves  me  not ;  loves  me,  loves  me 
not.  (The  flame  scorches  her  fingers,  but  she  holds 
it  long  enough  to  say)  He  loves  me!  (Then  she 
throws  the  last  blazing  bit  into  ash-receiver  and 
throws  her  arms  around  The  Devil) 


140  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  m 

MRS.  FELIX  (judicially) 

I  think  now  —  Addington  —  you  can  be  sure ! 
THE  DEVIL  (wrenching  himself  free) 

Damn  it !  —  Does  n't  she  know  that  if  Magnus  will 

write  one  check,  he  '11  write  another ! 
FANNY  (her  lip  drawn) 

Oh,  I  forgot  that!    I  forgot  that!     (Sobbing  on  her 

mother's   breast)      Oh,  mammy,  what   can  I  do   to 

prove  it  to  him?     This  is  my  punishment  —  this  is 

my  punishment! 
DOLL  BLONDIN  (to  The  Devil,  herself  in  tears) 

She  's  on  the  square  with  that  stuff,  old  boy.     Don't 

be  a  devil ! 
THE  DEVIL  (suddenly  realizing) 

A  devil :    that 's  what  I  am  —  a  devil.     No  human 

being  would  act  as  I'm  doing,  would  he? 
DOLL  BLONDIN  (judicially) 

Oh,  you  '11  come  out  of  it,  now  you  see  the  girl 's  all 

right,  won't  you? 

THE  DEVIL 

But  suppose  I  did  n't? 
DOLL  BLONDIN  (indignantly) 

Then  you  would  be  a  devil!     Not  fit  to  associate 

with  human  beings. 
FANNY  (crying  to  her  mother) 

Can't  you  think  of  something  I  can  do  to  prove  I  'm 

not  the  same  girl  who  came  here  this  morning? 
MRS.  FELIX  (crying) 

It 's  my  fault.     If  I  'd  been  a  good  mother,  instead 

of  a  good  bridge'player  — 
AGNUS  (agonizedly) 

Oh !   for  God's  sake !    Can't  something  be  done?    I  '11 

kill  myself  — 


ACT  m]     THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS 

SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (who  has  also  been  moved,  says 
now  sharply)  Here,  here!  {In  a  hoarse  whisper) 
Don't  you  go  taking  such  liberties  with  what  don't 
belong  to  you. 

THE  DEVIL,  (who  has  been  musing  on  what  Doll  has 
said) 

Not  fit  to  associate  with  human  beings.  No,  I  guess 
not.  (Looking  at  Schwartzenhopfel)  I  should  have 
remained  the  Dutchman  with  no  human  ties.  Senti 
ment  and  romance  just  make  me  ill. 

DOLL  BLONDIN  {indignantly) 

Shame  on  you !  {She  goes  over  to  comfort  the  other 
two  women) 

THE  DEVIL  (still  muswg) 

I  suppose  that 's  how  The  Devil  got  his  bad  name. 
Trying  to  cure  Faust  of  Marguerite  in  order  to  use 
him  for  the  world's  advancement.  Same  ingratitude, 
same  mix-up;  everybody  calling  me  names.  (Sharply 
to  Schwartzenhopfel,  who  has  listened)  Very  incor 
rectly  reported,  even  at  that  —  very  unjustly  —  that 
Faust  affair.  Those  stupid  Germans  —  when  they  're 
not  drinking  themselves  into  sentimental  poetry,  the 
ravings  of  a  disordered  brain,  they  're  guzzling 
themselves  into  gloomy  philosophy  —  the  pessimism 
of  a  disordered  liver  —  and  the  fellow  who  wrote  up 
the  Faust-Marguerite  case  had  both  maladies  (vi 
ciously)  in  their  most  virulent  form !  And  that 's 
what  most  humans  get  their  idea  of  me  from  —  when, 
actually,  the  case  was  just  about  like  this  one  — 
(meditatively)  I  wonder  what  I  did  to  straighten 
things  out  that  time?  (Meditates) 
[All  the  others  watch  him  in  awe. 


142  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  m 

FANNY  (lifting  a  tear-stained  face,  whispers) 
What  is  he  saying,  mammy?     Is  it  about  me? 

THE  DEVIL  (giving  the  Faust  matter  up) 
No  use,  I  forget  — 

AGNUS  (piteously) 

You  will  do  something,  won't  you? 

THE  DEVIL  (sadly) 

I  suppose  I  '11  have  to.  Humanity  has  to  suffer  as 
usual.  Sentiment,  always  sentiment,  maudlin  senti 
ment  :  that 's  what  keeps  abuses  unrectified,  men  ig 
norant,  women  slaves,  the  world's  intellect  develop 
ing  no  faster  than  a  snail  crawls.  Sentiment  — 
maudlin  sentiment  —  and  I  've  lived  so  long  among 
men  that  the  cancer  's  in  me,  too  — 

AGNUS 

You  have  got  a  heart  then  —  they  did  wrong  you. 
I  '11  devote  years  to  setting  you  right  in  the  eyes  of 
the  world. 

THE    DEVIL 

What? 

AGNUS  (stammering) 
A  book ! 

THE  DEVIL  (harshly) 

Set  me  right  in  men's  eyes?  Have  my  conduct 
applauded  by  stupid  human  beings?  When  the 
world  applauds  anybody  whole-heartedly,  without  a 
dissenting  voice,  be  sure  he  's  a  fool  or  a  knave ! 
Your  whole  being  has  been  in  arms  against  me  ever 
since  I  came  to  bring  you  wisdom.  Now  that  you 
think  there  's  a  chance  I  '11  let  you  be  a  fool  again, 
you  talk  of  setting  me  right !  Let  me  be  or  I  '11 
repent  it.  (To  Fawiy)  What  would  you  do  if  I 
made  you  realize  that  I  don't  and  can't  love  you? 


ACT  ra]     THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  143 

FANNY 

I  know  you  do. 

THE    DEVIL 

But  you  can't  make  me  marry  you? 

FANNY 

You  would  n't  want  the  scandal  of  a  suit  discrediting 
you  with  the  world? 

THE    DEVIL 

You  'd  do  that,  loving  me  ? 
FANNY  (gently) 

To    bring    you    to    your    senses.      You    would    be 
unhappy  without  me. 

THE    DEVIL 

And  unhappy  with  you. 

FANNY 

Not  after  the  change  that  has  come  over  me  today. 
THE  DEVIL  (throwing  up  both  hands) 

Useless  —  useless !     I  give  in  —  I  'm  vanquished. 

FANNY 

Love  conquers  all,  dear  — 

THE    DEVIL 

Oh,  those  damned  novels !     (Fending  her  off)     Wait! 

Go  in  there!     The  three  of  you.     (He  points  to  the 

hall  door)     Tell  the  chauffeur  to  get  ready  to  go 

back  to  New  York,  Fanny. 
FANNY 

One  kiss,  dear ! 

[The  Devil  sighs  heavily  as  he  permits  it. 
FANNY  (m  rapture) 

My  dear  one !    My  dearest ! 

[The  Devil  points  to  door.     Fanny  goes  with  Mrs. 

Felix. 


144  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  m 

THE   DEVIL    (tO   Doll) 

You,  too! 

[Doll  Blondin  shrugs  her  shoulders  and  goes  after 

the  other  two  women. 

THE  DEVIL  (throwing  himself  down  in  utter  wearmess) 
I  give  in.  I  must  find  another  body  —  go  through 
another  sentimental  riot  before  I  can  begin  my  work 
here  again.  Bernard  Shaws  don't  grow  in  every 
village  or  every  London.  (He  rises  and  crosses 
toward  the  window)  Oh,  Mars !  Mars !  I  'm  home 
sick  again.  (He  stretches  out  his  hands)  Only  a 
day  away  from  you,  and  homesick  already :  homesick, 
how  homesick  I  am  — 

AGNUS  (trembling  eagerly) 

I  know,  we  're  not  advanced  enough  for  you  yet. 
Why  don't  you  go  back  and  wait  until  we  a  re  ? 

THE  DEVIL  (turning  on  him  with  a  terrible  look) 
Man !  If  I  only  could :  if  I  only  could !  But  this  is 
my  punishment,  and  here — (waves  all  about  him) 
is  my  hell.  You  —  all  of  you  —  my  friends,  my 
familiars,  my  imps,  the  red  fellows  that  frightened 
your  own  youthful  dreams.  Here  is  the  fiery  pit  — 
here !  But  you  are  the  Devils,  and  I  am  the  tortured 
soul.  You  are  the  flames  —  I  am  the  burning  body. 
Yes,  you :  —  for  here  is  where  Devils  rule  —  this 
Earth  is  Hell!  (At  the  window,  his  hands  out 
stretched)  Here  I  am  debased,  my  sullen  angers 
stirred,  my  soul  held  back  from  the  Sun  by  inhuman 
humans  who  spend  their  lives  stanching  a  pretty 
woman's  tears,  while  a  hundred  thousand  fellow- 
creatures  die  for  the  want  of  a  pound  of  summer  ice, 
a  basket  of  winter  fuel!  You:  who  worship  a  Man 
of  Peace,  and  make  bloody  war  in  His  Name;  who 
worship  a  Prince  of  Purity,  and  wed  the  women  of 


ACT  m]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  145 

your  lust  in  His  Name ;  who  worship  a  Poor 
Man's  Christ,  and  in  the  same  breath  those  who 
steal  the  Poor  Man's  Bread  —  in  His  Name. 
(Looks  up  to  the  sky)  You  said  I  had  ruled  long 
enough,  Crucified  One !  So  you  came  to  do  through 
men's  Love  what  I  had  done  through  men's  Hate, 
Lust  and  Greed.  So  you  died  for  men,  and 
thereafter  men  called  hate  Anger  Against  The 
Heathen ;  lust  —  the  Woman  Leading  Them  to 
Holier  Things ;  greed  —  World  Conquest  in  your 
Name.  (Drops  on  his  knees)  I  see  you  ever,  Son 
of  the  Sun,  sad  and  weary  in  that  bright  star  of 
your  exile;  hoping  against  hope  that  a  stray  seed 
sown  two  thousand  years  ago  may  yet  bring  men  to 
wisdom  through  Love.  While  I  still  go  on  among 
them  to  bring  them  to  Wisdom  through  Understand 
ing,  teaching  them  that  Ignorance  and  Hate  bring 
no  gain  —  the  only  reasoning  they  can  understand. 
And  so  sustained  by  you  in  your  lonely  star,  while 
you  shine  on  hoping  men  will  look  up,  ever  up  —  I 
work  bitterly  among  them  here  below  —  until  I 
have  won  Wisdom  for  them  and  Freedom  for  us ; 
freedom  that  we  may  go  on  to  our  Father,  the  Sun, 
we  two  Exiles ;  Star  of  the  Morning,  and  Red 
Light  of  Mars !  ( While  speaking  thus,  he  seems 
irradiated  with  a  light  hardly  seen,  only  felt  —  a 
dim  suffusing  glow;  he  stands  for  a  second  statue- 
like;  then,  as  the  glow  fades,  he  says  gently  to 
Agnus)  Are  you  ready? 
[Agnus  bows  his  head. 

THE  DEVIL  (to  Schwartzenhopfel) 
And  you,  too? 
[Schwartzenhopfel  bows  his  head. 


146  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  m 

THE    DEVIL 

Then  one  word  before  I  lose  the  power  to  speak. 
When  I  hover  above  you  again  —  a  Red  Light 
again  —  I  will  wait  to  see  you,  Magnus,  and  you  too, 
Agnus,  each  do  a  single  thing.  And  when  I  have 
seen  each  of  you  do  that  one  thing,  I  will  know  you 
have  begun  to  carry  out  my  teachings  —  and  the 
Red  Light  will  fade  away  in  search  of  a  new  body 
and  a  new  fortune.  (A  ring  at  the  garden  door 
interrupts  him)  I  will  tell  you  —  in  there.  (He 
points  to  the  laboratory) 

[Agnus,  Schwartzenhopfel  and  the  light  go  out 
hurriedly,  The  Devil  following.  He  is  last  seen  by 
the  audience,  suffused  in  the  glow  again,  as  he  stands 
[between  the  two  folding-doors,  bringing  them  close 
together  until  they  shut  the  laboratory  and  all 
within  it  from  sight.  The  ringing  at  the  door  grows 
louder  and  is  followed  by  a  series  of  staccato  knocks 
with  a  knocker.  Mrs.  Felix  opens  the  hall  door  and 
shows  her  face. 

MRS.  FELIX  (speaking  to  Fanny  outside) 

There  's  no  one  here.  I  suppose  I  should  answer  the 
door? 

FANNY  (outside) 

By  all  means,  mother. 

[Mrs.  Felix  goes  to  the  garden  door.  Fanny  trails 
in  after  her.  Mrs.  Felix  opens  garden  door  for  Pro 
fessor  Vanillity. 

VANILLITY  (who  comes  in  excitedly) 

I  must  see  Addington,  Mrs.  Felix!  At  once!  At 
once  — 

MRS.  FELIX  (pointing  to  the  laboratory) 
He  's  in  there. 


ACT  m]     THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  147 

VANILLITY 

I  must  interrupt  him  once  at  least  —  at  least  once. 
(He  knocks  at  the  laboratory  door  —  no  response 
—  knocks  again  —  no  response) 
VANILLITY  (desperately) 

I  can't  help  it :  I  must  see  him. 

[He  flings  open  the  laboratory  door,  revealing  the 
room  with  its  blinds  drawn  and  Agnus,  Schwartzen- 
hopfel  and  Magnus  seated  in  a  sort  of  stupor t  side 
by  side.  Above  them  hovers  a  Red  Light. 

VANILLITY 

Addington,  my  boy!  Addington!  (He  shakes  him) 
[Agnus  opens  his  eyes  slowly  and  sees  Vanillity. 

VANILLITY 

Addington  —  just  a  moment  alone  — 

AGNUS  (joyously) 

Addington.  —  You  called  me  Addington.  —  Then 
it 's  so  —  it 's  so.  (He  brushes  past  Vanillity,  runs 
mto  the  room,  disregarding  women,  and  throws  back 
curtain  from  mirror)  It's  so!  It's  so!  (Sees 
Fanny)  Fanny! 

FANNY  (comes  toward  him  eagerly) 

The  actress  is  gone,  dear.  She  said  she  would  n't 
stand  in  the  way  of  our  happiness  once  I  convinced 
her  how  much  you  loved  me.  I  helped  her  re-pack 
her  trunks.  (Puts  her  hands  out  to  Agnus) 

VANILLITY  (taking  him  aside  before  he  can  take 
Fanny's  hands)  One  minute,  my  boy,  one  minute. 
(Leads  him  up-stage  so  that  their  backs  become 
turned  to  the  others) 

MAGNUS  (in  the  meanwhile  has  opened  his  eyes  and  sees 
Agnus  at  mirror;  as  Agnus  moves  up  stage, 


148  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS      [ACT  m 

he   runs    to    mirror   and   sees    himself)      It 's    so  — 
it 's  so  — 

VANILLITY  (in  a  low  tone  to  Agnus,  not  seeing  Magnus 
at  mirror)  My  boy,  I  've  been  eating  out  my  heart 
all  day  for  permitting  you  to  accept  that  offer. 
But  Judge  Critty  can  break  me  like  matchwood,  just 
as  Mr.  Magnus  can  break  him.  So  I  seemed  to 
consent.  But  I  do  not.  Don't  take  the  offer. 
[Schwartzenhopfel,  who  has  also  opened  his  eyes  and 
come  down  to  the  mirror,  now  touches  Magnus's  arm 
and  nods  approval  of  Vanillity. 

VANILLITY 

It 's  damnable  — 

MAGNUS  (who  has  turned    to    listen,    motioning    Mrs. 

Felix  and  Fanny  to  silence)     Damnable?  — 
VANILLITY  (turning  around,  white  and  trembling) 

Mr.  Magnus !     (Recovering    himself,    with    dignity) 

I  will  tender  my  resignation  tomorrow,  sir. 
MAGNUS 

Why? 
VANILLITY   (bitterly) 

Don't  trifle  with  a  broken  man,  sir.     My  university 

is   in  your   debt.      The   Judge   is   your  mouthpiece. 

What  you  tell  him  to  ask,  my  university  will  not 

dare  to  refuse! 
MAGNUS 

I  will  tell  the  Judge  nothing! 
VANILLITY  (gasping) 

I  —  I  —  what,  sir  ? 

MAGNUS 

But  I  will  tell  the  president  of  your  university  that 
he  is  old  enough  to  be  a  President  Emeritus  —  with 


ACT  m]      THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS  149 

a    pension  —  and    I    will    name     his      successor  — 

(pauses)     Professor  Thomas  Vanillity — 
VANILLITY  (trembling) 

I  can't  believe  it,  sir.    You  're  amusing  yourself  with 

me. 

[Magnus  sJiakes  his  head. 
VANILLITY  (desperately) 

Then  —  why  ? 
MAGNUS 

For  proving  you  are  not  of  Judge  Critty  s  stripe; 

for  risking  your  position  at  your  age ;  for  braving 

the  anger  of  the  rich  and  powerful,  to   save  your 

friend.    We  need  such  men  as  you  to  work  with  us  — 

(smiling  and  holding    out    his    arm    toward    Mrs. 

Felix)  the  future  Mrs.  Magnus  and  I  — 

[Mrs.  Felix  comes  forward. 

MAGNUS 

Loo! 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (nods  toward  the  Red  Light) 

Your  promise! 
MAGNUS   (remembers  and  motions    Mrs.    Felix    back) 

One  minute!     (Then  sits  down  at  the  desk  and  takes 

out  his  check-book) 
AGNUS  (warmly) 

Mr.  Magnus,  the  Professor    feels    too    strongly  to 

speak.     (He  pats  Vanillity  on  back;  then  turns  to 

Fanny)     Fanny ! 

[Schwartzenhopfel  nudges  him. 
AGNUS  (turning  from  Fanny) 

Eh? 
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL  (lifts  his  eyes) 

Your  promise! 


150  THE  RED  LIGHT  OF  MARS     [ACT  m 

AGNUS    (follows    Schwartzenhopfel's    glance    and    sees 

the    Red    Light)     Oh,    yes  —  thanks.     (Raises    his 

hand  to  hold  Fanny  back) 
MAGNUS  (twirling  check  over  shoulder  to  dry  it) 

The  torn-up  check,  Agnus.     (Rises)     Loo!     (Puts 

his  arm  about  Mrs.  Felix) 

[The  Red  Light  wags. 
AGNUS  (deliberately  seating  himself  with  his  eyes  on  the 

Red  Light)      Get  the  check,  Fanny.      (He  takes  a 

cigarette  from  his  case) 

FANNY 

Yes,  dear.     (She  goes  for  it) 

[Agnus  places  the  cigarette  in  his  mouth.     Fanny 
returns  with  the  check. 
AGNUS 

A  light,  please  — 

FANNY 

Yes,  dear.     (She  reaches  for  the  cigar-lighter,  turns 
it  on  and  lifts  it  forward  to  him) 
[Agnus   ignites   the  cigarette,   looking   at    the  Red 
Light.     The  Red  Light  wags,  pleased.    It  is  growing 
dark  outside  —  an  early  winter's  evening.     A  star 
appears. 
AGNUS  (patting  Fanny's  hand) 

That 's  a  good  girl !     I  'm  sure  —  now  you  've  had 

your  lesson,  we  '11  be   very  happy   together.      (He 

puffs  at  the  cigarette) 

[The    Red    Light    flies    out    of    the    window    and 

disappears. 

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